Bullying, Mean People, How They Damaged Me

[Anonymous]

Bullying ...Let's talk about the bullying that starts inside school. One kid does something mean to another kid who can't defend himself for a long time and keeps doing it no matter how much it it hurting. Yeah all ages bully including kids. I never thought about it but even kids who we think are angelic and good bully other kids and no matter how not so important this looks it has long-term damage.

For example when I was in kindergarden other kids especially girls were always mean to me I never understood why and never will. They were so evil and when I tried to socialise they would do mean things . Let me tell you a dumb story: A girl named Ela crushed a snail while walking. Then two girls started scaring her and telling her that when she would get pregnant she would not have a child but a snail. I told this girl Ela to not believe such a dumb thing and comfort her because she was scared to death and crying. Whatever the other girls were mean and Ela decided to trust them.

IN first grade I made friends but mostly boys and I wondered why I never tried to become friends with girls! Whatever the boy I was friends with made an accident and couldn't walk for a period and when he came back to school he forgot about me and had changed for bad. That hurt a lot . I stared at him for days wondering why he forgot me. I'll never know.

Then my teacher always changing my seat making it harder for me to have a proper friend. Some mean girls who would gossip and ruin my reputation. One day when this girl didn't accept me to her group for no reason. Another day when the guy that forgot me bullied me. And more stuff like this and I was forced deep into my bubble afraid of making new friends.

Then I was so scared to make new friends so I decided to be friends with a lonely girl none stayed with. I helped her with homeworks, made her believe in herself and as soon as she started to become confident , made other friends with which she shared more interesting things. Whenever I would try to talk she would ignore and then tell others in front of my face that I rarely talked anything.

A new boy in our class which all girls kinda hated started bullying me, physically, emotionally and kept talking about disgusting things. He kept telling my friend "why do you stay with this girl?" And the worst part? My friend didn't say anything. He put his hands to my throat and I was so scared and I didn't know what to do. The worst part? Other classmates made a circle around and stared including my ffriend who was very close but never decided to do anything. I decided to fight back but it only got worse. Then I ignored and after a long time he stopped. Then another boy bullied me , I decided to ignore again but it never worked. Then everyone started wondering why I stopped talking, why my grades were worse... I didn't even realised but I as soon as I became a teenager I became depressed.Lonely. Awkward. I forgot how to make an interesting chat or how to start it. I started thinking that I was trash. But that hurt so much because I was the best student, creative, I was best at sports, I was perfect. But then...

Of course bullying affected me but the teachers who kept giving good grades to students who didn't deserve got my hopes down and cut them.

When I got into high school I decided to try again but the teacher decided to change our seats. And the rest is history. Wait , I still tried! But this girl started ignoring me. So I stopped trying to make friends. Nobody bullied me this time, they respected me, I have no idea why. I saw others laughing and then I just wanted to run away. Someone would say something funny and everyone laugh but me.

I hated myself. My looks, my shy personality everything.

Now I don't hate myself but I have issues that will affect me forever . I was the best but some jealous and mean classmates destroyed me . I swear , I tried a lot but every time I tried something happened and I lost trust. Now I hate people just because they do something similar my bullies used to do.

Now let's talk about why I never told my parents or my family about all this. Seeing how my older sibling was facing bullying too and that when they told parents about it , they never did anything , it felt really bad. I was afraid dad would say that it was my fault that I was being so weak. And yep he said that in some occasions. Plus I never shared anything with my parents. My dad would freak out about my dropping grades and would say hurtful things . My dad started changing becoming sarcastic and strated being mean to mom. I hated him in those situations .Sad.This is how I lost hope in my family and my siblings. Oh wait, why did I lost hope in my siblings? Because whenever I would start and tell them they would tell me that is was my fault or would ignore me and continue to play in their phone. Sad.

This is how I learned to never try to have new friends and enjoy things on my own. But even though this time I didn't try anymore it still hurt. Why? This new girl I met was so worried about me and even got againist some guy who mean to me. She thought I was cute???? I didn't understand. I kept asking myself what does she want from me? I thought that she probably wanted me to help with something and then she would act like she never liked me. But I think I was wrong. She started ignoring me after I wasn't replying or being so friendly and that hurt. I tried to laugh and wonder why people stare at me in a weird way when I laugh? Then I looked myself in the mirror and laughed. My face looked serious and not laughing. Wow I forgot how to laugh properly. Sad.

Then one day I came across a website that said: bullying has long lasting effects and damages the brain. I found out a lot of things and I found out that it wasn't my fault that I hated everyone and the way I have changed. It was a release to know that I wasn't doing anything wrong , instead my bullies were wrong but sadly I still feel like I was too weak and it was my fault.

I don't know why am I writing this? I know that strangers won't help but I never told anyone about all this and I thought maybe it would help? I tried to write it, talk it to myself. But nothing worked, it just made me cry. Now that we're talking about crying. During these periods I was so sad that I cried a good amount every single day. And too much crying gave me irregular heartbeats and now when I feel even a little sadness my chest feels sooo heavy. Like I can't breathe anymore and I think " Ok that was it I'm going to die now from my heart" .

If you faced bullying then I would recommend you to check out the damages it does to you so you are more informed .

I have decided to take a break from everything but I can't . So I'll just take a break from socializing and maybe in the future I'll try again , which is unlikely to happen. I know that there won't suddenly appear a magical person who wants to become friends with a damaged person like me so I guess I'll be alone all my life.

To the bullies : Thanks , I know you hated this certain person or just thought he was better than you, or just wanted to make him feel bad because someone else made you feel bad . And you know what? You reached your goal and gave this person issues for life: mentally, physically. And you what is the best part? They are probably becoming worse and getting into depression while you become successful in life , more successful than them. It must feel great .

Now the forgiving part. I thought about forgiving my bullies. And I couldn't no matter how much I tried. I swear. I am the most forgiving person from all the people I have known. I would forgive someone a thousand times but when they reach this point there is no turning back. They can do everything , they can change the world, but I will never forgive them and I don't even want to see their face. Their existence is torture for me. When you hear them laughing it's a real torture or just talking. Sad.

This is a long journey that will end someday. During this period I became suicidal but never thought about killing myself , I just wanted to die but not killing myself. I became then more religious which helped me to be honest a lot. And more good people appeared in my life but sadly no matter what I have become anti-social and it takes a miracle to make me social again. I still feel the pain that is lasting and lasting and I'll never understand why some people even kids can become so mean. End.

[yucychan]

I feel for you. As one who was being bullied in school before, I get what you're saying. I never really understood the mean comments by the girls to me, the deliberate move to exclude me from their groups, the name-callings by some of the guys in class for being ugly, putting me down on my achievements etc etc.
But those were in the past. Probably, if I were to encounter these people again in the street or anything, I'd just just walked on. Because these people no longer mean anything to me. I don't wish the worse for them nor the best, its just I don't care about them at all. I've too much other stuff on my mind that needs my attention.
And so to you, I provide the same advice. Focus on yourself instead on them, its time to love yourself and show yourself some respect. I know its easier said than done, but I feel you can manage it. If you feel your hair's bad, then go have a haircut or style it. If you feel depressed, then talked to a counselor or get professional help. If you feel hungry, then go eat. If you feel fat, then go exercise. Just keep in mind to focus on yourself.

[goaded]

That was very hard to read, as it mirrors a large amount of my girls' experiences. One was being physically bullied, but that was put a stop to by a few of her older male friends, the other is often excluded by her "friends". Both of them reached out to girls who were worse off than themselves, and paid the price; I'm proud of them.

None of us understand the attraction in attacking someone who's never done you any harm.

It seems to me, reading the other comments, that the best thing a school could do is exclude anyone accused of bullying for a time, zero tolerance, because the good kids will just have a few days off to study at home, and the bad kids will be stopped from bullying. Sending kids home for fighting back is sending the wrong message.

[MarkRet]

I can relate to this. When I was growing up, I was pretty shy and socially awkward. On top of that, I was skinnier than most of the other kids, so even if I tried to stand up to bullies, I was usually outnumbered, and they could shove me and beat me up anyway. My parents were no help, as they were pretty immature themselves.

In school, I usually tried avoiding bullies, and on the first day of the school year, I'd pick a seat to sit at that wasn't exactly at the front, but nowhere near the back, where I knew the jerks and bullies would usually sit. Low and behold, after one or two days, the teacher would usually select the biggest jerk, and make him sit at the front, so the teacher could "keep an eye on him", and this asshole would be in my close proximity the rest of the year. So, thanks to a teacher, I'd be within reach of an asshole anyway. If I approached a teacher or principle about getting bullied, I'd get the typical response "Settle it with them after school!"

I was pretty backward and depressed in high school, but after graduating, I started becoming more confident, did a lot of growing up, became a lot stronger inside and outside, and left a lot of old baggage behind. Nobody has bullied me since high school, but if anybody did now, I'd probably spit a big hocker in their face, because I just don't care what happens now.

As a side note, the biggest bully I had in high school (he bullied everybody, not just me) dropped out of high school in our senior year, never amounted to much of anything, and died several years ago.

[myTake Owner]

I'm happy that you are more confident and are making good changes in yourself and your life. But when I read the part that the bully died I felt bad, I know he was a bully but it still saddens me how some people's lifes are short and in that short time they do bad things. I think that bullies have been abused too but bullying others is a very bad choice and teenagers suicide because of it, get depressed and destroys life. Anyway I don't like talking about dead people no matter what things they have done but out of curiosity why did he die?

[MarkRet]

I don't know what killed him, but I remember he was a smoker when he dropped out. He never left the township I grew up in. I only came across his obituary on the Internet. I also notified the high school classmates who keep track of reunions, so they know.

[MarkRet]

It might have been smoking that killed him, plus he was always overweight and ate junk food. A couple of years after I graduated, I got a new job, and moved out of the area I grew up in. It was like I left my old self behind, and didn't keep track of anybody from that time, let alone the biggest bully. He's most likely in hell now, a place where he belongs. I hope he's being tortured for eternity.

[ObscuredBeyond]

This isn't bullying. Bullying is:

- Being routinely told to go kill yourself.

- Being constantly ganged up on by almost your entire class.

- Being shoved into fences and the wind knocked out of you for no reason.

- Being kicked in the shins and spat on for no reason.

- Being stalked around the playground and put in head locks for no reason, made to fear they're gonna break your neck, as they laugh sadistically. Then chased by a mob if you break free, give the guy an uppercut, startle him, then run like hell.

- Being routinely assaulted with rocks and pebbles for no reason.

- Being told by faculty that you are the problem, not the kid who pinned you down and punched your lip until it started bleeding, when there was no provocation.

- Being assaulted with plants they know you're allergic to, in their sick hopes you'll go into anaphylactic shock.

- Being assaulted with baseball bats without provocation, as a show of power

- Being repeatedly told you're "a retard" because you come up with new ideas no one else in the herd is capable of doing for themselves.

- Being accused of being a rapist for no reason, and the rumor spread around.

- Being told you're "a ticking time bomb" when you express frustration.

- Something important comes up and your parents pull you out of school for a few days. You're called a freak for being the odd party out.

- You turn in your homework. When no one's looking, they steal it off the teacher's desk and destroy it, ruining your chance of getting a decent grade.

- You find your ripped-up assignment in the trash, and point it out to the teacher. Who insists you ripped it up and threw it in there. Because he doesn't have time for your "conspiracy theories" about a tormentor classmate.

- They knock you out of your desk, and you're made to write sentences for it. You're repeatedly humiliated by the teacher over it in front of your tormentors, who have a laugh.

THAT, is bullying!

[CubsterShura]

I've forever been bullied for being different from others.

The worst thing it did to me was, it destroyed my confidence when it comes to relationships. I literally feel like my own husband will bully me as well and I don't want to be with anyone for this reason!

I do have a boyfriend, but I had to go through a lot of difficulties for that as well. He liked me, yet I was the one being repulsive out of this irrational fear and several other underlying causes. I have to admit, even if he does end up bullying me at a point I won't be surprised. Anyone bullying me doesn't surprise me anymore. Heck, I am daddy's girl and even if my DAD bullied me I won't be surprised. I kind of expect it from everyone now, like it's a normal thing.

[Juxtapose]

Why let weaklings hurt your feelings? Think about it.. no happy, well adjusted person would bully another person.

So how does that help you? Simple! Take sadistic pleasure in their misery! The more they bully you, the more *they* are hurting inside! Smirk inwardly and laugh at their misfortune, for they are so pathetic that they have to make others feel small so they can feel big!

Fuck 'em, they're not worth your time. ANYONE worth your time will treat you fairly, don't forget that! Oh and..

You can thank me later ;)

[myTake Owner]

Yeah that is what I think now and why later I'll thank you now.

[Anonymous]

neglect push them, so they push me, but they've forgotten life also pushed me. I stood my ground. I'm no coward, rather die. Sleeping through dark nights hoping a brighter day. I had a plan you see. my mind was clear. Then one day I push back when they look the other way.

[myTake Owner]

did you write this?

[Opinion Owner]

yes thats why i anon.

[villageidiot]

we need more people who will stand up to bullys. There are so few of them.

[HOAAH]

my mom bullied me as a child... and so did my younger sister.
I grew up and still believe that people who will truly love me will treat me that way.
I have social anxiety and can't make friends easily.
I believe that people could care less about me... and that I am not an interesting person.
but I still try hard to learn to be a moral person. I still try in my life to love my husband and kids and be nice to others that I do meet.

[FatherJack]

A good take , and proves that BOTH genders are equally as bad , the notion that only males are bad persists in Western " societies " . Endured bullying at secondary school , was a later developing teen , they just spurred me into turning myself into a skilled fighter and I taught a couple a hard lesson. Years later , as a serving British Army soldier , was at a function , on leave , in dress uniform , one former bully admitted " I would not dare piss you off now !! " pointing to Para wings on my shoulder... and was bought rounds of drinks too. However , bullying often leaves it's mark.

[BaileyisDarcy]

Who the fuck says only males are bad? Women are notorious for being catty, bitchy and cruel. Men a mean with fists, hot blooded. Women are cold, they plan, find the weak points and instead ofone big dramatic punch we poke n poke until it hurts and keep going until you bleed.

[Logorithim]

Tough topic to write and read about. Bullying exacts a huge toll on its victims, so we need to prevent it as much as possible.

[myTake Owner]

I actually enjoyed writing this because it happened to me no matter how much I didn't want to become a victim. Thanks for your comment.

[JustAnotherSoul]

Bulling changed my life... Literally... I've Ben bullied a lot in middle school... My lovely classmates pushed me through multiple mental break downs, a long depression and turned me into a borderline sociopath... Childhood traumas turn people into monsters. I used to be a very sensitive child, and now I just don't care anymore...

[Anonymous]

I suggest everyone who has suffered from bullying to read this book "Getting past your past". It will help you remove your pain forever and become whole again. It's about a technique called EMDR.

For those who are currently being bullied, there are humanitarian organizations out there that support the victims. There are plenty online. Check them out, and they're usually free.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sorry for your pain. It's happened to me too.
No matter what anyone says, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

[myTake Owner]

I don't know how to find these websites online can you say any?

[Opinion Owner]

Here's one to begin with. I'll send you more later.
I like the crisis help lines best.
www.stopbullying.gov/get-help-now/index.html
Which state or county do you live in? I might be able to give you better info.

[VonDamme]

Welp, this just made me realize that there might be more to why I am how I am than I even realized before... I guess I never wanted to think how people treated me as a kid affected me now.

[VonDamme]

I mean obviously parenting has an affect. I just didn't want to think about the way other kids treated me.

[Amazing285285]

Think positive. Bully's come from low life, or racist homes. You are better than them so keep going to school, rocks on your good grades, and ignore those demons who make school a bad place. The thought of bully's still messing with people make me wanna cry

[myTake Owner]

I agree a lot.

[JSmith925]

Mix this will mental illness and you may have the beginnings of a school shooter. We keep talking about our innocent children. I'm not so sure they are all that innocent.
~JSmith

[myTake Owner]

Damn that's true. But I would never do that god forbid

[JSmith925]

Amen to that. I would kill myself before I let myself harm innocent people. The only way I would use lethal force is if my life or the lives of family members depended on it. Or if asked to defend my country in any way.
Best wishes to you and yours,
~James Smith

[Silver158]

Found a long time ago that the best way of dealing with bullies was to either walk away and forget about them and if that's not an option, put them in their place.

Currently walking away from a group of "Friends" whose sole goal over the last 6 months seemed to be to drag me down and destroy my confidence as much as possible. Making me feel like I was stupid and taking the sides of people who they don't even know instead of having my back like friends should.

[myTake Owner]

I understand , they play games with you and make you feel like the most dumb creature. I don't know why they do that , but one day they will take what they deserve. I mean they might be abused too but bullying others is a very bad choice.

[VaIiant]

I've said it before and I’ll say it again. It’s called a MyTake, not a MeCry.

[myTake Owner]

that sentence just fixed everything.

[watisgoingon]

omg people are so soft these days. don't like how you're being treated? knock them the fuck out. better than crying and whining for sure

[Gray-Wisp]

I agree but schools today have a "zero tolerance policy" so you'll get expelled like I did.

[myTake Owner]

no violence is no better. If you're bothered by this whining myTake then sorry for your time. I'm soft yes and I'm not sorry about that. Thanks for blaming me that I didn't knock them out.

[Silver158]

@Gray-Wisp yeah the issue there is the person being bullied becomes the one in the wrong. However, I was bullied by a group in school when I was a kid. So, I'd be telling the teachers what was going on and who was involved. They'd look into it and the guys would spout their lies and the teachers would conclude that they were hearing the same story from multiple people where as mine was only 1 person so the group's story must be true... It's problematic despite the "zero tolerance" approach my school and most schools take.

[myTake Owner]

@Silver158 I disagree when you say that the bullied person becomes the one in the wrong. Things shouldn't be solved with more fights. The bully will never learn. I forgot to mention here and I can't even edit it anymore but I told my bully why was he doing this? and i told him that you re probably bullied and that bullying others again was no good. He laughed and everyone around just laughed but later I kept telling him these kind of things and they stopped bullying. I know it can't work with everyone because some people are just evil but I still have a hard time deciding to choose things with fighting back.

[Silver158]

Why do you disagree? If you lash out against psychological bullying with violence you become the one who is in the wrong. You would get expelled from school possibly end up with an assault charge. Where as the bullies would get off scott free.

[Gray-Wisp]

@Silver158 With my experience they would steal my lunch box so some days I wouldn't have food. Other times they did initiate it physically first. I'm not saying it never happened but I can't remember a single time that they got punished. This is just my situation though and based off of it I concluded that when backed into a corner it's better to fight back and be punished than be a push over. Besides, my country was founded on being abused and fighting back.

[Silver158]

@Gray-Wisp I woulda drew the line at them taking my food. My story is I basically ended up beating the crap out of one of them (quite savagely actually, ruined a desk and a few filing cabinets with him) And they all backed off. Actually see some of them on occasion now that we're older and say "hey". Time moves on and all that.

[Silver158]

I was very much suspended from school for a couple of weeks though. thus my point that the person being bullied ends up being the one in the wrong.

[Gray-Wisp]

@Silver158 I wouldn't use the term "in the wrong". I'd say ends up getting punished.

[BeautifulMind59]

@Gray-Wisp I would rub really hot pepper on my lunch box so whoever tried to steal it would learn a lesson.

[Reach500]

It's harder to just disregard it when you're a kid. It gets easier as you get older

[loveslongnails]

Hmmm... I'm not a violent person, but bullying may be one of those cases where kicking a male bully in the balls again and again might be a good approach. For a girl, maybe slamming your books into the other girls nose might work. :) Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

Americans Loves bullies. Notice who's in the white house?

[ObscuredBeyond]

It's not our fault he lives rent-free in your head.

[Opinion Owner]

@ObscuredBeyond Did you think of that all by yourself Bullwinkle?

[ObscuredBeyond]

You realize this isn't the year 2000 anymore, right? That film sucked. But if you're a squirrel, I'll have to let Dug and Alpha know you're here.

[Opinion Owner]

@ObscuredBeyond WTF are u talking about Bullwinkle?

[ObscuredBeyond]

Wanna assign me a pop culture reference, but can't be bothered to update your own reference pool? This... could take a while...

[Opinion Owner]

@ObscuredBeyond You seem to understand bullying Sooooo well!

[NerdInDenial]

We all have to face bullies whether it’s a local person or a tyrant. It takes much courage to overcome especially when you are developing as a person.

[LasPlagas]

Bullying had a big impact on my it destroyed my self esteem and I got a hard time with girls. It results in anger, frustration and depression

[Krumpir]

Lose the damn crocs and you will look cool lol