Search Results: mistakes you wish you could change

I am crying as I write this and while I want to say it is pregnancy hormones I must say that it is deeper than that.

It is because, through a wonderful girl on here, I came to a great epiphany.

For so long I was angry about things I couldn’t change. I wanted to heal the world and save everyone in it. I go sooo frustrated when I could see people heading on paths of destruction and sadness--even more frustrated when these folks would meet the consequences for their actions and blame the world despite reasonable advice.

I felt that, I could show the world my bleeding scars--the hard lessons I learned--I could save them from pain and hurt.

And when people wouldn't see--I felt like I failed them.

What was I doing?

Trying to reach some form of Salvation through helping others -- was this merely a selfish in pursuit.

Partly--but I do have a great love for humanity and a desire to see us heal. I also hope that we will one day evolve to a greater enlightenment and be of one accord--and see the path to love one another deeply and without shame.

Love yes, is the only answer.

But as my Sister correctly pointed out, I can reach out to those who ask, be happy within my self and try not to feel responsible for those who wallow in bitterness and hate as solace for their mistakes.

I have actually be wrestling with this for months--I wanted to let go of so many ghosts--of feelings of being a failure when I couldn't stop people I loved from hurting. Now my wise and beautiful friend has calmed that voice of blame that haunted me with her careful words and I feel freed.

Although agnostic, it is times like this that I feel there is a God as this Messenger answered a question I did not even know how to voice.

Today, I see that while I can reach out--this is not my job and if I try and fail that it is okay--it just was not meant. I will no longer let the world rob me of joy.

My job is to simply be there to guide those who seek guidance from me and to wish well for those who may be struggling to find their own answers and get misled a bit.

So, I may not need to come on here as often or to offer advice as much because I feel a bit more…I dunno--at peace. Seek me if you will to that end my loves -- because I do want to give love to those who want to feel loved...

But I also know that I will slowly be releasing the demons of my own self doubts as I come to the realization that all forms of love, including the love of self--is an answer as well..