Not too long ago I had a party at my house.
The house was packed with people, sangria, and music. About an hour into the party a really stunning Canadian/Chinese girl came in with some friends. Me, having yellow fever, was drawn to her like flies to poop. She looked a little young but I had enough homemade sangria to not care. We hit it off right away and I flirted shamelessly.
Out of the blue she said “you look older than me…” I responded, “I might be a little bit!” She looked about 25 and I had a suspicion that I was about 10 years older than her. “How old are you??” she smiled flirtatiously, “I am 35.” Her reaction was like a slap in the face, her mouth contorted as if I had just blown my nose trucker style on the counter. “Oh my god.. you are old, what are you doing here?” her face changed to a surprised expression as she realized what she said was really rude. I checked her right away, telling her it was my house and I needed to see ID if she wanted to keep drinking, but her comment still stung.
I am getting older, and it may be soon that the girls I am attracted too are no longer attracted to me (so I have to hurry up and get rich).
I am in Portland right now typing in a Jazz club with my friend Linda sitting across from me. We are surrounded by artsy types with emo pants and buddy holly glasses. I don’t fit in very well.
Tomorrow I am driving Linda to the clinic where she is getting surgery. She is not sick, she is getting Liposuction. I have been Linda’s friend, guy adviser, and nutritionist for years now. When we first met, Linda was about 20 pounds heavier, we worked together and got a lot of the weight off quite quickly. Unfortunately the saddlebag gods cursed Linda’s thighs and no matter what she did this problem area pervaded. One day I said “just get lipo Linda, no one will know and you will feel so much better about yourself.” So here we are and in about 12 hours Linda will get 5 liters of fat sucked out of her problem spots (that’s 2 1/2 plastic bottles of soda!!!). Permanently changing where her body deposits fat.
One of the most amazing books I have read about the concept of self-image was Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. Maltz was not a physiologist but a plastic surgeon and he went on to write probably one of the most influential self-help books of all time.
In his practice Maltz observed something very strange leading to his theories on self image. Maltz had two types of clients: one that responded very positively to plastic surgery, and a group that would not see a difference no matter how radical the change.
For example, two different women come in for a nose job. After the surgery one woman feels totally reborn and she goes out with a confidence she didn’t know before. The other woman comes back a month after the surgery convinced that nothing has changed. She feels she needs another nose job or desires to fix another area of her body.
My friend Linda has a strike against her confidence because of an area of her body. She is not like the second girl, lacking the confidence and turning on her body in blame. I think this surgery will change Linda’s perception of herself. Her confidence will increase significantly and make her a far more desirable partner from the boost in self-image.
How important is the physical? Well that depends mainly on two things. How important are the looks of the man you would like to attract? Want a hottie? You got to be a hottie. (read my earlier post on being what you wish to attract: How To Meet A Rich Guy)
The other is how much the physical is attached to your self-confidence. I know that if I am not in my best shape I have an incredibly hard time approaching women. It is very specific too. I could have pepperoni stuck in my hair and it would not stop me but… I gain a couple of pounds and no way… I’ll stay in the corner with my water thanks.
If you are blaming your body/looks for your lack of confidence no amount of surgery or exercise will fix it. However if one or two things are getting in the way of your really loving yourself it is time to make a change. If a little surgery will fix things, go for it. Need to lose 20 pounds, make it happen by eating well and training DAILY.
Is looking good important?! YES!! But you have to feel good about yourself before you can take healthy action to look good:
Mike Masters writes a blog for women about relationships at MikeTheMasterDater.com. Traveling the world and dating every single girl he met along the way allowed Mike to make an uncountable number of mistakes in relationships. These mistakes led to a fluency in the psychology of dating that could only be gained from radical immersion.
The house was packed with people, sangria, and music. About an hour into the party a really stunning Canadian/Chinese girl came in with some friends. Me, having yellow fever, was drawn to her like flies to poop. She looked a little young but I had enough homemade sangria to not care. We hit it off right away and I flirted shamelessly.
Out of the blue she said “you look older than me…” I responded, “I might be a little bit!” She looked about 25 and I had a suspicion that I was about 10 years older than her. “How old are you??” she smiled flirtatiously, “I am 35.” Her reaction was like a slap in the face, her mouth contorted as if I had just blown my nose trucker style on the counter. “Oh my god.. you are old, what are you doing here?” her face changed to a surprised expression as she realized what she said was really rude. I checked her right away, telling her it was my house and I needed to see ID if she wanted to keep drinking, but her comment still stung.
I am getting older, and it may be soon that the girls I am attracted too are no longer attracted to me (so I have to hurry up and get rich).
I am in Portland right now typing in a Jazz club with my friend Linda sitting across from me. We are surrounded by artsy types with emo pants and buddy holly glasses. I don’t fit in very well.
Tomorrow I am driving Linda to the clinic where she is getting surgery. She is not sick, she is getting Liposuction. I have been Linda’s friend, guy adviser, and nutritionist for years now. When we first met, Linda was about 20 pounds heavier, we worked together and got a lot of the weight off quite quickly. Unfortunately the saddlebag gods cursed Linda’s thighs and no matter what she did this problem area pervaded. One day I said “just get lipo Linda, no one will know and you will feel so much better about yourself.” So here we are and in about 12 hours Linda will get 5 liters of fat sucked out of her problem spots (that’s 2 1/2 plastic bottles of soda!!!). Permanently changing where her body deposits fat.
"Want a hottie? You got to be a hottie."
One of the most amazing books I have read about the concept of self-image was Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. Maltz was not a physiologist but a plastic surgeon and he went on to write probably one of the most influential self-help books of all time.
In his practice Maltz observed something very strange leading to his theories on self image. Maltz had two types of clients: one that responded very positively to plastic surgery, and a group that would not see a difference no matter how radical the change.
For example, two different women come in for a nose job. After the surgery one woman feels totally reborn and she goes out with a confidence she didn’t know before. The other woman comes back a month after the surgery convinced that nothing has changed. She feels she needs another nose job or desires to fix another area of her body.
My friend Linda has a strike against her confidence because of an area of her body. She is not like the second girl, lacking the confidence and turning on her body in blame. I think this surgery will change Linda’s perception of herself. Her confidence will increase significantly and make her a far more desirable partner from the boost in self-image.
How important is the physical? Well that depends mainly on two things. How important are the looks of the man you would like to attract? Want a hottie? You got to be a hottie. (read my earlier post on being what you wish to attract: How To Meet A Rich Guy)
The other is how much the physical is attached to your self-confidence. I know that if I am not in my best shape I have an incredibly hard time approaching women. It is very specific too. I could have pepperoni stuck in my hair and it would not stop me but… I gain a couple of pounds and no way… I’ll stay in the corner with my water thanks.
If you are blaming your body/looks for your lack of confidence no amount of surgery or exercise will fix it. However if one or two things are getting in the way of your really loving yourself it is time to make a change. If a little surgery will fix things, go for it. Need to lose 20 pounds, make it happen by eating well and training DAILY.
Is looking good important?! YES!! But you have to feel good about yourself before you can take healthy action to look good:
- Look your best, be your best always
- If you want to date a 9 you can’t be a 5
- Guys are very visually stimulated, looking great really helps!
- What is your demon? first love it and then decide if it really needs to go
- Don’t work on the outside if the inside is the source of the problem
- Looking good equals healthy a trait that draws all humans at a genetic level
Mike Masters writes a blog for women about relationships at MikeTheMasterDater.com. Traveling the world and dating every single girl he met along the way allowed Mike to make an uncountable number of mistakes in relationships. These mistakes led to a fluency in the psychology of dating that could only be gained from radical immersion.
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