Search Results: relationship addiction

"Women marry men hoping that the men will change, but they don't. Men marry women hoping that they will never change, but they do." Obviously, this old saw is talking about different aspects of our expectations: women want men's behavior to change and men hope that women's appearance will never change.

If we limit the discussion to behavior, the truth is that most people do not change in significant ways over their lifetime. When you go to your 45th high school reunion (as I recently did,) the guy who was the class clown will probably still be playing the role of the class clown (if he is still alive!) The girls who acted like divas and queen bees may be a bit more sophisticated in the way that they act, but they will still be divas and queen bees.

Yes, SOME people do change their behavior in significant ways but that is unusual. Perhaps someone who is addicted with give up their addiction but most of the addictive behaviors will remain. Change is just not that common.

Still, many of us have been in relationships with someone who we knew was not good for us but we hoped (and hoped. . . and hoped. . . and hoped) that they would change and they never did. Maybe you were one of the lucky ones and someone did change for you. What has been your experience with this?