Search Results: signs of trust

To make a long story short, my boyfriend has done some things in the past to break trust and has previously tried to lie/hide things in the past. (i. e. last week, I walked to the back door and caught him smoking a cigarette, which he hid from me at first and then didn’t think was that big of a deal). He was going through his email and I ask him about a dominoes order that was made at 12:03 am when I wasn’t with him. He doesn’t normally order pizzas for himself, so I asked him and he told me he and his friend sometimes get pizza when he goes over to his house, but it wasn’t delivered over there. I wanted him to sign into his account so I could see, he acts like I’m being unreasonable and is now being aggressive towards me. I’m on the spectrum, but am extremely high functioning and often convince myself at times I’m normal. I have meltdowns at times when I’m incredibly overstimulated that remind me I’m not. That’s where I am right now, crying and having a breakdown. Whenever I am like this, he offers no comfort of physical touch of any sort. He usually stares at me and wants me to leave, which is how he is now. He thinks I am ridiculous when I just want to be able to trust him and know he isn’t doing things he shouldn’t, like he has been before. I never ask to see his phone, but the few times I have, he gets defensive and anxious about it and turns on me. I feel like I’m going crazy and I don’t know what to do anymore. Am I being unreasonable like he says I am? Thanks in advance.