Things I have learned from past relationships- friendships

As we grow up, we start to find values you look for in a friendship. As someone who had to walk away from 8 friendships, the following are the things I have learned from the past friendships and the relationships I have had with them- hoping this would be encouragements for some/every-one:

People change and friendships/relationships change.
"You become who you hang out with"- and I will add that only likely minded people will be hanging out and talking
People are not always who they say they are, or who you think they are: actions speak louder than words.
Don’t trust someone too easily, but don’t let that become your ‘trust issue’.
Don’t talk too much about your previous friendships with your current friend- it might be tempting to talk about it, but chances are they will do what they have done back to you
It’s ok that things don’t work out- it’s ok that you both go separate ways.
You don’t need them to tell you to stop talking to them or get a permission to leave, but they might actively try to stop you.
You learn a lot about them at the end of the relationship with them; your next friendship will be better than the last.
You can still love the people that don’t want to work things out with you by leaving them for the better.
Avoid miscommunication, but to communicate with intentions to understand and receive/give information.
As long as you learned something from them, friends or not, it is a success.
You find yourself when you leave toxic relationships.
Choose forgiveness, even if you don’t think they deserve it.
You must understand that relationships in the past are distractions, but it is perfectly normal to feel hurt or upset for the first week; it is ok to reminisce it.
Be nice and polite when you see your former friend, do not resent or hate them- you would feel more hurt when you hate on them or resent them or the past friendship
No matter what happened or will happen, always be a kind person.

Friends are good and important to have, but not every one of them will stay or should stay. They teach you to become a better person and friend. You need to go through things with your friends before you go through the things with your girl/boy-friend. At times I see that the reason why their "significant other" chose not to stay with them would be the same reason why I would not stay with them. If you cannot handle a platonic relationship, you cannot handle a romantic relationship, and don't say "goodbye" to your friends when you start dating, you will need your friends too (writing as someone who stays single).

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ending a friendship is always hard; it can be as hard as breaking up with your "significant others", but it is part of growing up. Growing up is never easy, but must be done. Your story of life goes on with or without them, you need to keep that in mind. I am not saying that you need to break up with everyone in your life, but you need to know when they are toxic. Signs of toxic relationship/people:

They ignore your approach
They kept saying they are "busy"
They consistently 'rain check' on you
They break promises with you
They chose to misunderstand you
They lash out their anger at you

Those are the signs of toxic relationships I have found in someone, there can be more, but those are all also signs of manipulation. I find that a lot of these can be avoided if there are not misunderstanding- I understand that misunderstanding happens, but it is avoidable- you just need to talk to them about it and resolve it- I find that to be one of the hardest part in keeping relationships, because a lot of times they just don't care to work it out with you (they chose to misunderstand you). I do understand that people may be busy with their lives, but I do not believe it is too much to take 5 minutes out of your life to check and catch up with your friends, or simply a 5 second text saying "thank you", or anything like that. People deserve to be complimented and acknowledged.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things I have learned from past relationships- friendships

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The quotes that helped me move on from a 2 year friendship that I had to end:

"Losing people is part of growing up... When you lose people, you find yourself"

"Not everyone you lose is a loss, and sometimes it is actually a blessing in disguise"

"If they don't appreciate your presence in their lives, then let them appreciate your absence, because there are some people that simply don't deserve to have you in their lives"

"I would much rather be a little lonely for a season, than being in a wrong and damaging relationship"

I agree with this one the most. I also believe that you cannot be happy with anyone else if you cannot be happy by yourself.

"You are lucky if you have few close friends in your life..."

I agree with this statement, but I also believe that close friends are blessings in your life. They are the people that come in your life to mutually respect, love, care, and cherish; they work things out with you, that puts just as much of effort into a friendship like you do and do not give up on you (that you do not give up on them too) to grow and maintain the relationship. "Once a friend always a friend", no matter how many friendships I needed to end, I still believe in that one sentence said by a past friend who committed suicide (I am the same age as he was).

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In summary:

Not everyone that come into your life will stay or should stay. Your life goes on with or without them. This is not to discourage you to have friends and good friends in life, but to know how to move on should things go south like that. You learn from the past friendship to have a better friendship next, and you need to let go of it and move on before you can have a better friendship. Just because they would be your former friend, still be a nice person when you see them- you want people in your past to see you happy as well (don't you)?

Things I have learned from past relationships- friendships

What Girls & Guys Said