Search Results: having sex with an ex

In 1979, I dated Pat. She was my first love. She was a cute girl but she was extremely unstable. I didn't care because she said she loved me. . . and she was cute. I ignored the fact that she was very insincere and very financially dependent on men. She broke up with me to go back to her ex-husband. In 2003, I reunited with her. We married in 2005. Late in 2006, she had an affair with another female. Early in 2007, we were divorced. FML!

In 1980, I dated Evelyn. I thought I loved her but I think I just loved having sex with her. . . and she was even prettier than Pat. She was a user of men and I was one of her victims. She went back to one of her exes and I moved 4 hours away from her. Later, I tried to reunite and establish a LDR but all I got out of my efforts was a little bit more sex.

After Pat and I divorced, I dated Oksana. She is a Ukrainian cutie and a sincerely very nice woman. We dated for about 6 months, but she got laid off from her job and then went to live with her adult daughter about 4 hours away. In 2015, I visited her for Valentine’s Day. We decided that the distance was too much of a barrier. In 2017, I saw her again. She has devoted her life to taking care of her granddaughters and I would never be her highest priority. Who wants to be number two?

Now, my standard advice is to not try to reunite with an ex. The problems that you initially encountered with probably resurface and even quicker the second time around. Of course, under some circumstances, it is POSSIBLE to reunite with an ex and make it work, but the odds of that happening are rather low.

Have you ever broken up with a significant other and then reunited, or tried to reunite? What were your expectations? Did it work? After reuniting, did it again fail for the same reason? A different reason? What is your advice about reuniting with an ex?

So I turned 18 fairly resonantly and never had a real relationship even though I really wanted one for SO SO LONG. I’m shy and introverted though and only have a few close friends and that’s because of social anxiety due to severe bullying back when I was younger and never fitting in with others at school. Anyway at this point I’d give absolutely anything just to have a pretty girl to wrap her in my arms, snuggle with, talk to about my day, kiss her, have an intercourse with her (if she’s comfortable with it of course) etc. People say I have so much love and empathy in my heart waiting to be passed on to others but at the present moment only people I can think of giving it to are pretty girls as they are my #1 Priority and I’d do anything I can to make a girl feel loved but if I find her and the intensity is released on only focusing on girls then yes I’ll give it to other people too. The thought of so many other people YOUNGER than me being able to go a lot farther in terms of being sexually active and stuff makes me so depressed, feel so low and want to self harm. Sometimes I think of giving myself a 3rd degree burn (please don’t judge) because I feel an urge too. Haven’t gone that far yet and yes I know I’ll need skin graphs if I do it. (Not only dating I also have a couple bad phobias too and yes I have been seeing a therapist).

Anyway bottom line is that I wanted to ask if it was normal for someone my age in my position (never having a girlfriend once and really wanting one) to be so girl crazy where all he ever thinks of is wrapping a girl in his arms, will do absolutely anything for one and gets so depressed thinking of others having it especially those who don’t deserve it. Ex. Those who just want sex.