How I Became Trapped With A Controlling Boyfriend, And Why I Choose To Stay

[Anonymous]

This is going to be a long and difficult MyTake. I think most of you will find it too much to ever read. You will probably hate me, but it is something I need to write.

The Beginning

I met him in college. I'm going to call him "William" to hide identities. I was already in a relationship at the time. My current boyfriend was a year younger than me, I was legal and he wasn't. I wanted sex and he didn't. So I broke up with him. Not wanting to blow any horns, but I was popular with the boys. I had a long line of them waiting for the day we broke up.

William was the most persistent. The type of guy that would be there at the drop of a hat, buy me anything, do anything I asked. Sadly for him, my heart wasn't his. I could tell I was everything in his eyes, I just didn't feel the same. He wouldn't take no for an answer.

I rebelled and gave my virginity to an ex-boyfriend when I was supposed to be with William. He still didn't take no for an answer. I went along with it, told him to grow a beard... I hoped that it would make him more attractive in my eyes. Told myself, with enough time I could love him.

Me and William. Taken not long after dating.

The Spiral To Hell

My mum hated our relationship. He was a good 8 years older than me, I was 16 he was 24. We had an argument and being the hot-headed teenager I was, I left to go live with him. I found out a week after my 17th birthday I was pregnant. He had some excuse about the condom being too tight and I thought it would never happen to me... stupid excuses.

I cried so hard, I knew right there and then everything was over. I would never be able to do any of the things I wanted in life. I had just quit college thinking I wanted to take a year out and try a different course. I wanted to be an actress of something creative.

We hadn't talked at all after I showed him the result. As we went to sleep, he said: "I suppose we should get married or something?" I didn't want to say yes, but I said it anyway. He convinced me to keep the baby, I wasn't too sure. I didn't want to abort it but I knew it was too much for me too soon. I'd just come to the realization that college was too soon for me!

The Baby

It didn't take me long to come round to the idea of having a child. With the help of my cousin, I began to see it as a positive thing, something to be grateful for. I had a wicked depression after giving birth. I felt so trapped, so completely hopeless. I tried to reconnect with my mum but it was all for show. I still felt angry at the way she treated me. My friends stopped talking to me completely, nobody wants to know you if you have to stay in and look after baby instead of going out for drinks every weekend.

I had to give William a try. He was the only one still there for me when everyone had left. I had done some very awful things to him. Started some very vicious arguments. Projected my negative feelings onto him. Made it his fault.

My new family.

I Found Faith In God

At some point not long after the baby, I noticed William stopped wanting to go places with me. He refused to go anywhere or do anything. It started to feel like I wasn't even in a relationship anymore.

I went on holiday to a beach with my family. I lost my engagement ring in the sand, it just flew off my finger. I honestly thought it was lost forever. So I prayed. At the time I was an atheist. I believed I knew everything and people, like William, who believed in God where stupid. I still got down on my hands and knees and begged to God, saying "If you return that ring to me, I will never question your existence again." And I didn't.

Me and my son. Taken the day I lost the ring.

Temptation

Our relationship is far from perfect. One of the things I find the hardest is the lack of intimacy. When we had the baby we lost that magic. Sex was once a month at best. It was boring and just a chore. I feel like I deserve more. Someone who wants to try things that I want to try. He won't let me do anything to him, I can't touch or look at his penis. When I'm satisfied during sex we stop and he finishes himself off in private.

He knew I wasn't happy, we had had countless arguments about it. I had even tried to leave him over it. But he has a silver tongue. He always knows just what to say to get me back. One time he suggested a threesome. I liked the idea at first, it was exciting. I thought I could probably endure this relationship if we did. We took to the internet. Found a website for other people looking for similar kinds of meetups. Just using the website got us going again. Things were really looking up. So we finally met up with someone. I liked him, a lot. But William didn't. I was so excited to sleep with this guy, but I agreed to wait if William didn't like him.

We stopped using the website entirely and things went back to normal. Half a year passed and I'd had enough. I had plans to leave William and meet up with the internet guy behind his back. My conscience kicked in and I told William my plans, told him I was just going to sleep with but not the part about going forever. I was way too scared. He slapped me a few times in the face. I was drunk and angry and probably deserved it.

Me and my son. Taken around the time

I Almost Escaped

I found another way to cope with my frustration after things went back to normal again. It was wrong but addictive. I felt like it was impersonal. Like I could get away with it and not have to worry. I started to talk to guys romanticly online. I would sext them, send them a few nudes... then move on when I felt too emotionally attached.

Then I met someone else. He was from a different country but I couldn't help coming back to him. We talked for a couple of years and shared all the same kinks. He made me feel complete. I wanted to run away and go live in Finland with him but he was married and didn't want to give up his life too.

I felt like I could do better than William. Like someone was waiting out there for me. So one day I told him my friend was staying the night. We hardly spoke anymore so letting her stay every once in a while was ok with him. But when she came I had a bag ready and told her to run to the car with my Son.

We stayed the weekend but I couldn't stop talking to William via facebook. I met up with him in town. He told me he would change. Let me have a haircut, one I had begged for, for months. Well, he had no choice at that point because I was threatening to leave. I was back with him and things went back to normal.

Me, not long before the haircut

Why I'm Not Happy

I might not have made it very clear so far. I've probably put a lot of blame on myself. I've done some shitty things but I want you to understand my point of view. He can talk me out of anything he wants. He's one of the smartest persons I know. I'm always wrong and he wins every single debate. He thinks he knows everything, and I certainly don't know anything he doesn't know.

If I ever want anything, to go drink with friends, to put on makeup, to get a haircut, return to collage, get a job... he talks me into thinking I'm stupid for wanting them. If I look even a little bit disappointed an argument is asking to happen. We haven't had one in a while now, but I think it's because he has whittled me away. I've given up. I don't have the energy anymore. Everything is always my fault and I'm ok with that now. I just laugh and everything is ok.

Me now

Why I Choose To Stay

I could leave at any point. I have no shackles. I actually want to leave. I know someone who would date me and probably do a better job at it than William. In my head, I'd be happy. But that's just the grass is greener on the other side argument. William isn't perfect but neither am I. We get along most of the time. If you saw us together you would think we are a normal couple. Even if I don't feel like I'm in a relationship.

Every time I spend the day out of the house I have to do it alone because he won't do anything with me. But can I blame him for refusing to do something he doesn't like? Our sex life is nonexistent, but only a shallow person would dwell on that. We are married in all but name, we have a kid, we live together. We believe in the eyes of God we are. And because I'm religious enough to think God sees us as married, I'm religious enough to think that divorce is a sin. No matter what you say or think, I would rather live a life without freedom than live a life of sin.

I'm sorry if you disagree, I've lost all of my friends over time because they disagreed too. I have to bite my tongue with my family all the time. I hope my happy ending will come one day. For now, I just have to put faith in God.

Thank you for reading, if you still are. Charlotte x

[SirRexington]

Jeseus Christ... Or am is not allowed to say that? It's a sin right?

This whole situation is fucked up. I'm not blaming either one of you, but I'm blaming both of you. I blame him for manipulating you but i blame you for your reckless actions. You should of had an abortion. You weren't ready and it's ruined your life.

If you could leave, would you leave with the baby or would you take him with you?

I can see why a lot of guys like you, you are pretty. But man, you are damaged inside. And i don't think that was caused by William.

Thanks whole born again Christian thing is on you, im not going to explain to you why that's a naive and ignorant thing to do, run your life, because i knew it won't matter what i or anyone says.

You will die one day regretting everything because you wasted your life. I'm not saying sleep around and fuck a bunch of guys, that'll make your depression worse. But you need to lay off the guys for a bit. Focus on your life and do what you want. Then, when you have your shit together or you meet someone who can help get your shit together, you can try again at romance. I suggest leaving the kid with William though. It's his kid. Not yours, bit harsh to say but it's true. Your heart doesn't seem to lie with the baby.

I'm sorry your life is failing. Mine is too, just in a different way. Only you have a way out. I currently do not.

[MScifiwriter]

I couldn't get past the "The Beginning" part, as I was far too troubled by your attitude toward men and your personality. You seemed to act as though you were "God's gift to men" type thing. Breaking up with one guy, simply because he wasn't ready to have sex, then cheating on another guy.

I then skimmed through other parts that you wrote, about how you didn't want to have a child, but decided to anyway. Then decided to find religion... because... what? You don't like your life or something?

This is the problem with some people, they run around apparently without a care in the world thinking life will give them everything because they "deserve it". Life, unless you are a billionaire or extremely fortunate, doesn't simply GIVE you anything. You have to work for it and make an effort.

You sound as though you want someone else to make all the hard decisions and give you an out. I mean after all you did end your post with "I just have to put faith in God".

That's your issue, you are NOT taking responsibility for your life. And until you do, things are not going to get any better. Hell, you have a child, so you need to make sure the baby has a better life, before you think about yourself.

You put yourself into that mess, you have to get yourself out of the mess.

[myTake Owner]

Hello dear sir. It's unfortunate that you didn't read the whole thing and that you don't understand the point I'm trying to get across here. I'm not perfect. But yes at many points in my life I have thought I was. And now I have come to terms with the fact that I don't deserve happiness. My role here is to try and make happiness with what I have. To not give in to the easy option and do my best to better myself.

[SirRexington]

But you aren't bettering yourself, that's what he is saying.

[MScifiwriter]

@SirRexington Thanks, SirExington! I'm glad you understood what I was saying. I'm completely baffled by @ChgzDaniel reply. Especially the part about "I have come to terms with the fact that I don't deserve happiness." I mean what the F#%& is that about. She completely missed the point I was trying to get across.

[SirRexington]

And we all need to understand that there is a difference between self imposed limitations and limitations genuinely beyond our control. These limitations are ones put on herself.

[Angelina25]

You know at some point, I feel like "I wish people understood me more. And agreed with me more."
But this is beyond me. I'm sorry your life is a terrible mess, it's really difficult for me to imagine the hard times you've been through.
But what's impossible for me to imagine why you choose to stay. Sorry, I don't understand and I won't even pretend to. It's outright demeaning yourself.

You know what's wrong, you know who's wrong, you know what you can do to get out of it, you know what's the best, so why are you staying? Coz of your son? Damn it! Don't you think there's something called single mothers.

And you know what the main point is? In choosing to stay with him, you're giving away your freedom. But hey, that's not important right? Okay. I'll tell you the actual main point, you're RISKING YOUR SON'S LIFE. If you choose to stay with William, it means your son stays with you, he is gonna become like his dad one day.

Do you want more Williams? Or do you want more Charlottes? Don't you think the the grass is actually green on the other side?

[MlleCake]

God did not create you to live a life of pain with someone who makes you feel so awful. That is not what God intended by marriage.

There is a better life out there, and you deserve it as much as anyone does, and your son deserves to be raised in a better environment.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you for your comment. You have a very valid point but scripture plainly says God hates divorce more than most sins. The only time it's ok to divorce is if your other half isn't Christian, and mine is more Christian then most. I think God would rather me stay and learn to be happy. Society is collapsing all around us and it needs strong Christians now more than ever.

[MlleCake]

I don't think that's true.

[BrittBratt2416]

Yes but God commands for husbands and wives to honor and love each other, not abuse them. When you abuse your spouse you are pretty much disrespecting the Lord and His temple.

[levantine99]

Asker wrong. no God or devil blesses this relationship. that sounds unloving and miserable.

[WitchsLove]

God doesn't prefer for people who were never meant to be together, because they make each other miserable - and that is what you were: wrong for each other since the beginning- to stay married until the end of time.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. But marriage needs love. You guys just have some weird co-dependent relationship. I believe you or both of you ever loved each other.

[CherryRoseChampange]

This is some 13 reasons why type shit. In the sense where you blame others and look for some kind of justification for you not taking control of your life. My thing is if you know your boyfriend is so toxic and manipulative why keep listening to him and trying to force something you never wanted from the beginning? Even if a baby is involved.

I think both of you should let one another go. I honestly don't see why he tries to stay with you, you've proven on several accounts you aren't faithful and want some white knight. Which I think might be the main reason he's so controlling. He legit doesn't fucking trust you no more as you are always "popular" with the boys. And your reasons for not liking him in the begging were absurd. You're putting yourself through unnecessary pain, William too, and not to mention you brought a child into this.

Also, that found god mess is just something you're using to not take responsibility and control of your life. The ring just gave you the opportunity to put it in action because you've been looking elsewhere for help instead of looking in the mirror. This whole situation is fucked.

[CherryRoseChampange]

*beginning

[Allie_Oops]

So... you choose to stay because you have no will power.

Got it.

[heyyyyy123]

Okay well I'm not sure you told the whole story because I am still somewhat conflicted about certain parts. For a while I was thinking to myself that "What has he done thats controlling? I don't understand". But then you said something about him not letting you cut your hair, then I started to understand what was going.
And I say this because I am very similar. I think it all breeds from some sort of insecurity (which I always say, everything breeds from) But I think you're being very hush hush about it. But once you said he wouldn't "let" you cut your hair, either your financially dependent on him OR you are afraid of his disapproval. Both are very different, but root from the same insecurities.
I think you see yourself as dependent on him and that this is the best you are going to get. I have seen this in other people, because this guy isn't all bad, I'm sure he has some good points that you cherish. But you don't love him, its clearly obvious. Don't tell me you do because you cheated on him, wanted to fuck other guys, go behind his back. NOT saying these are horrible wicked things, but you are being deprived of needs.
Not just sexually, but emotionally as well. I am here to tell you that sexual compatibility is extremely important in a relationship. I know you said only shallow people care about that, but do you know how many marriages are ended because their partner won't have sex with them or touch them as much as they want them to anymore? More than you know. Its a huge deal, and its very important and stop telling yourself it isn't. You wouldn't go seeking for other ways to please yourself, getting drunk and telling him to see if it makes a difference. It won't. He is the way he is and you can't sit there and wait for someone to change.
Never settle. This isn't a situation of the grass is always greener on the other side, he isn't the one for you and I think you knew that since the moment you started dating him. You were never that into him and thats important. I'm sure you've grown to cherish him in certain ways and spent a lot of time together and experienced so much, but this is obviously a situation of, this is has gone on too long.
He was meant for a small part of your life and it's time to let him go. Obviously I can't make you do anything, but I am showing you a different side of thinking. That he isn't someone that lets you feel free and happy, as I read your story I felt so gloomy. Think of yourself and your child, its okay to do so.

[Anonymous]

This will sound quite mean, but you kinda deserve it. I need to be mean in this case in order to be bluntly honest. This is why SMART men don't rush to go for the "popular" women and many stay single. We don't want a weakling by our side with no independence. We already know condoms may or may not work and think with brains, not groins. We don't want somebody who puts more importance on a chemical made for animals to breed rather than common sense. We certainly don't want to deal with a baby that was basically a mistake and now has to suffer with that. Even weaker, you DARE now say you ran to god and "suddenly" believe in him now? Who are you trying to fool? You don't beleive in god. You never did. And you are lying that you do, because a just god (god is claimed as "just") would say get a goddamn divorce! God is often a self image of oneself in order to justify their own actions, god or bad, while giving society the impression that they are actually more pure hearted. The poor child you have is now trapped with a weak idiot of a mother. What? You never heard of abortions or adoption? So what if your husband says keep it? Aren't YOU the one having to take care of it mostly? It would make sense given anything else you want to do, he doesn't like. Your husband isn't smart. He's a dumbass. So are you. All you both did is contribute to the world's problems because you couldn't manage to think like a human should. Honestly. animals seem to be smarter than both of you combined. Give your son up to adoption already, leave your dumbass husband, drop the fake ass "im religious now" BS, and ACTUALLY go do what you want to do! People like YOU are the ones in America now on welfare draining our taxes! I wonder if you are on some kind of welfare too... STOP bearing stupidity and multiplying it into the world! What hypocrites Americans can sometimes be blaming Mexicans for welfare while there's plenty of WHITE TRASH (in the bible belt no less) in situations just like you. On a last note, here's some more Rick and Morty wisdom "There is no god, rip the bandage off now" I seriously hope somebody yells what I said in your face EXTREMELY loud one day. Even louder into your husband's face. It'd be for your own good and for the good of all else around.

[D_Bone_Steak]

How bad did you shit test him? I'm a Chad Thundercock but I've had certain women shit test me to the point that I don't even want to be around them much less let her poke fun at my dick or some shit she'd probably do. I mean holy shit, finishing himself off by himself... I'd place money that you probably told him his sex was shit during some heated outburst, now look, he believes it. I seriously would bet money on that...

Did you try to fix it or... are you still looking at other men as if they'd be any different after a bunch of shit tests?

I'd suggest you find a sex life with your husband if you want it to work with your husband, because the overlying theme through this whole story is you wanting a better sex life. ... and I mean seriously, why was the thressom another man and not another woman? Yeah, that's going to make him feel even more like a sexybeast... watching another man fuck his wife... NOT!!!

Look, I just have a feeling you're the one that fucked his ego up, and instead of fixing his ego in anyway, you're just moping about not getting fucked by Chad Thundercock.

Help him become the man you want and you'll have him already. Great men aren't great because they come home and their woman chastises the shit out of how much he sucks at everything he does... just saying.

[Bluedream13]

One thing I didn't hear you mention is "I stayed for the sake of my son"

This to me is the main reason for staying, and the main reason I extend a warm congratulations, from the bottom of my heart, to you and your family. Fuck your shallow friends, they are gunna be jealous when you have grandkids and they have alcoholism.

Sending nudes was a seriously bad idea and I hope your identity is protected, you do want your kids to respect you... and that is definitely a form of betrayal. The most important wall held though... and that's what really matters at the end of the day.

Sounds like your husband has intimacy issues though, sounds like he thinks you wanna fuck other guys, and is or at least was partly right. Some of us get so uptight, so wound up... we can't unleash ourselves on a woman. You need to work your womanly magic and get him to a point of relaxation where you can have a proper sexual experience together. Some marijuana may be in order

[Kaneki05]

yea just get out. i was in an abusive relationship with my girlfriend and she started off nice and she was popular and seemed like a normal girl but she was manipulative and totally tricked me next thing you know i was doing anything she wanted me to just to get her attention, and then she would hurt me and forced me drugs then she made everyone hate me. it was awful, this went on for two years then she left with just a note saying I'll be back but now 3 years later she hasn't come back thankfully. weirdest thing is if she came back i would be her's again cause i got addicted to the pain and misery. i know this is different but take it from me just leave while you can.

[Lovvercase]

i'm sorry but that's a toxic boyfriend you have there, i'm religious too (a muslim) but i believe the real sin in all of this is lying to yourself and telling yourself its ok to give up your freedom and happiness (and sex, because it is important) and grow a kid in such a depressive environment, i think it's time for you to give a chance to the other guy, if you dont like him, contact a fmily member and open up to them, ask them if you could live with th3m and find a job, never come back to william, he doesn't deserve you

[SirRexington]

Wait, you yourself could not divorce your husband under Islam unless it was permitted that you could. So that's a bit of a silly thing to say. You as a Muslim woman have less freedom than she does.

[Lovvercase]

@SirRexington lmao no i dont, divorce is not even a sin in islam, educate ys

[Lovvercase]

@SirRexington aaand trust me, i have more freedom than even you :)

[SirRexington]

Probably. I'm homeless and can't seem to get ahead. But divorce is haraam unless otherwise permitted. Educate yourself.

[Lovvercase]

@SirRexington I'm sorry, i'm not going to enter a religious debate with you because its pointless, as a muslim woman, i'm able to divorce my husband before God and the state, STOP accusing islam of depriving women of their rights.

[SirRexington]

Stop denying the truth that Islam is oppressive. Your a slave to your own mind and blindness.

[SirRexington]

www.americanthinker.com/.../..._the_quran_tha.html
Top ten rules in the Quran that oppress women - American Thinker
skepticsannotatedbible.com/quran/women/long.html
Women in the Quran - Skeptic's Annotated Bible

[errorgoodnameunfound]

@SirRexington Sorry dude, but she knows the religion more than you ever will. I know bits and pieces of it cause Judaism and Islam are a lot closer than Christianity. The world may not seem that way, but it's flat truth. I know for a fact Judaism is more ok with divorce than Christianity, so it makes sense that practically our cousin religion, Islam, is more ok with it too. Stop watching Achmed the Dead Terrorist and talking to church buds to educate yourself about Islam. It won't give you the truth. Islam is complex and the views within it are widespread like any other religion. There's reasons Jews can pray in a mosque and not a church, and find way more overlaps between Judaism and Islam then Judaism and Christianity. Christianity is partially idolatry. It's the furthest from secular thinking. Christians have killed plenty of people. Tortured people, colonized, etc. Look at the bible belt in America. You see a bunch of smarties?

[errorgoodnameunfound]

Something I forgot to mention, Judaism is the closest religion to being Atheist, so it's no wonder many Jews become so. The fact that Islam is the cousin religion means logically, similarly so. Atheism is the most amount of freedom period for good or evil, that's undeniable. It makes plenty sense that Jews and Islamist fight so much today, as from what I know, the Abrahamic people were cursed to fight among themselves. Not sure if I believe in such curse, but I also think the importance put on trying to question things in Judaism and Islam being stronger than Christianity by far. If anyone is corrupting Judaism today, it's the crazy orthodox Jews that have extreme parallels with dumbass evangelicals, which is ironic given that evangelical thinking is VERY far thinking from Judaism or Islam. Perhaps too, there's parallels that can be drawn between Islamic extremists and evangelicals. Converts maybe?

[blackmetalelitist]

@errorgoodnameunfound As being raised Jewish, I can agree with this. I feel more atheist, but still agree with a lot of rabbis on things.

[blackmetalelitist]

@errorgoodnameunfound Also the extremists are really wrecking it. in all of these reglions

[SirRexington]

@errorgoodnameunfound first of all, I'm atheist and I'm studying theology.

Second, every religion is technically atheist, atheists just believe in one less God than them.

Third, women get killed for trying to divorce their spouse, or they get shunned or abused. As I've stated before, Christianity is just as bad and guilty as Islam when it comes to it's religious crimes. And no, Islam is closer to Christianity as it came from it directly, Christianity coming from Judaism and a sleep of other religions. Though all are extremely similar.

[Lovvercase]

@errorgoodnameunfound first, thank you for the text wall that I've surprisingly read until the last word lol, second I'm only 15 yo so i can't talk about other religions since i don't want to judge anybody *shade* but islam says christianity, judaism, and islam come from the same only God but all of them except islam were stolen and manipulated to serve certain people *shade*, also i have no idea about the curse that makes muslims and jews fight but i know jews were given wealth by God but then they messed up and God dispersed them in the corners of the planet (sorry if there are grammar mistakes English is not my first language) as for the divorce issue, there is a saying (said by either God or the prophet saaws that has a meaning similar to "the thing that allows but hates the most is the divorce" meaning it is not a sin but a "disliked" thing in islam, disliked things are allowed but a good muslim would avoid them example: fasting on consecutive days except Ramadan, anal/oral sex..

[Lovvercase]

*a bunch of hateful things about ignorant people that claim to be Christian that i deleted because, unlike you, islam forbids us from hating on other religions (or people for that matter)* so whatever good respectable clearly fair church you heard that vaguely hateful speech sitting in, i suggest you so kindly check the sources and consider going to a better church that hopefully will respect other religions, and not take the attendants for fools. And next time, please, s'il vous plaît, por favor, رجاء, stop charging like a much-appreciated racist-ish educated person wherever you spot a muslim person because we are obviously out of context here since the girl that is clearly suffering from constant violence and hate (apart from me) has posted this to get answers, not to read a pointless rant about religions just because an anatomical part like whoever replied to my comment decided to go aperesidues the second i mentioned my religion. Now, kindly if you would, fuck off you hateful pig.

[Lovvercase]

Whoops, not my best insult, i hope it'll do :/

[errorgoodnameunfound]

Ya, but if something is bad yet allowed, it's bound to happen, especially since even things FORBIDDEN still happen plenty. Islam can say whatever they want about other religions twisting the concept of god. Guess what? EVERY religion says so. Judaism, Christianity? Yup. All three claim the other two twisted things around and are wrong. So you can't but that blame only on Islam. It's like three kingdoms attacking each other, same time, with same amount of force, and all for the reason of becoming more powerful themselves. Why blame one kingdom when all are guilty, greedy, selfish, stupid, egoistic? ALL need EQUAL blame. No more, no less. Just like the holy hand grenade. Throw on count of three. No more or less. 4 is out. 5 fuck no. 2 wtf? Just 3. Only 3. Just equal, only equal. (monty python reference, if you didn't watch it, GO WATCH Monty Python holy grail and THEN come back and continue)

[SirRexington]

Islam forbids from hating other religions... Yeah now I know your a troll. A determined troll but a troll nonetheless. And if you aren't, sorry for your birthday defect. Maybe in the future your brain will be able to be hooked up to a computer that will give you the information.

[SirRexington]

And again, I'm not religious.

[Lovvercase]

@errorgoodnameunfound lmao sorry im aaving myself for deadpool 2 later but I'll consider watching whatever that is lol.
Back to the point, there is no point in attacking other religions, to each one of us his beliefs and there is NO way he would change them, i think we all agree on this point.
I'm sorry if i offended you, i think that's due to this conversation being held on a website that was originally intended for pervs and insecure brats and the occasional breakup rants and not face to face like it should be (thank God though because i speak a helluva lot irl lol) but all i meant to do was pointing out some facts in the point of view of *my* religion.
I think anyone's beliefs belong to them and under no circumstances should ANYONE discriminate them or treat them based on these since the "big reveal" is farther than now, we all assume what our hearts lead us to. The only one that can judge us is the one that sees through our hearts and minds and it sure as hell is not me or whoever-

[Lovvercase]

-is reading this. Based on that, all i can say is that i hope all of us finally find the right path, whichever that one is, and, if i am right, i hope i could save those who weren't from what i believe what will happen to them :)
Oml that was so complex to write x)

[Lovvercase]

@SirRexington answering that is the lowest and most uninteresting thing i could ever do so I'll pass. Enjoy your life, or don't, idc.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

So you know one of those journals you find in Skyrim where you walk into a cave or something and there are all these dead bodies lying around.. and the journal explains that there's something in the cave that made everyone slowly go crazy and now you as the player have to deal with the aftermath?

I feel like I'm in one of those situations reading through this.
Poor Dovahkiin..

I seriously wish I could say something to help you here but honestly you seem long since past the point of no return..

The best I can do is say I hope something happens soon to give you a wakeup call. I really do.

[marilynmansonssextoy]

yeah i feel u. i feel sorry for her, but all the christian shit is just trapping her further...
xx
~ Mrs Manson

[FýrdracaDócincel]

@marilynmansonssextoy

I don't necessarily feel sorry for her ((since she didn't want to be with him anyway and she routinely made excuses not to end this while she could have)). More like this whole situation is just depressing.. and also eerily disturbing.

I feel like I'm reading the account of someone who is actually losing her damn mind lol.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Not to mention, this chick thinks the earth is flat..

[marilynmansonssextoy]

wait what?
xx
~ Mrs Manson

[FýrdracaDócincel]

@marilynmansonssextoy

You heard me woman.

This one's a flat earther. Which I think gives my point a good shot in the arm, eh? 😊

[marilynmansonssextoy]

ah, yep.
xx
~ Mrs Manson

[simplyaramdomgirl]

Just wow. I can't believe how you stuck with this manipulative dude. He wants to control every aspect of your life, That's not healthy. I also can't believe that you would let your baby be in such a bad environment. If not for yourself then at least for your baby you need to do better. You need to get yourself out of that situation and away from your controlling partner, before your baby becomes collateral damage. Honestly I'm just concerned and I wish you the best. May God bless you!

[vishna]

Your child deserves a happy environment, being around you two together could ruin him.

Also, you aren't married and so there is no "sin" of divorce. If you want to label yourself an adultress, sure. But until you get married, you surely can't be condemned for divorce. So, leave.

It's your life, you choose to stay in this. You are an adult who has shown she's capable of leaving when she wants, I think you're complacent and again, your son deserves way better. You two don't seem healthy enough to properly raise a child... sorry if that's harsh, but it's true.

[Anonymous]

Cool thanks for sharing but a big problem is your looking for someone else to rescue you if you will. When it needs to be you and your strength you use to leave and cut ties.
And when you cut them cut them all and run.

I hope you find happiness in your child and in your life.

[mishanw_1071]

I feel like I can understand you, however our views on religion differ greatly (im athiest) but i was basically raised by a single mother. My father was in my life for the first 14 years of my life but the entire time my parents were never happy. The day he left us was the happiest day of my life. I won't tell you what to do but from the child's perspective I believe a life with out a father would be much better than a life with unhappy parents who fight all the time, throw thing, and scar me.
My heart goes out to you and I hope you and I hope one day you and your baby will find a forever

[blackmetalelitist]

Darling, My god. This is horrible, you need happiness not pain and suffering! I did read all of it, and I understand. My mother has been with my dad for 20 years, I love him but he's kind of an ass. She can be so unhappy at times, and it really hurts me. But she won't leave him no matter what I say or do. You need to consider what this is doing to your child. I had a very bad childhood cause of my dad, my mom never left him. Just because you think things seem all fine for you son, doesn't mean it's not. He will start to notice how screwed up things are, as he gets older. Like, why do mom and dad fight? Why is he so controlling over her. Why does she stay? He could even get these bad habits as he grows older. He does not deserve to become that way, and that is fault of his parents for not teaching him how to love properly or too love himself properly. Do what's best for your son and yourself. If you are not happy, how can you be a good mother?

[Fluffy5inch]

This isn't about Co dependency, this is Stockholm syndrome and mental/ emotional abuse. He is a narcissist, you are his victim. Get. The. Hell. Out. It isn't your fault, it's not a grass is greener on the other side situation, and God doesn't want anyone to love a life like yours. This is "William" being a fuckin psychopath. You deserve better.

[myTake Owner]

I left today. Enough people gave negative reactions to this and I saw what I needed to do really

[Fluffy5inch]

@ChgzDaniel I'm proud of you, and happy for you. Never go back.

[Sabretooth]

wish the one i love would come to her senses

[errorgoodnameunfound]

Good! Surprised a site like this would pressure actual life choices, but in this case that's a great thing!

[Lovvercase]

THANK YOU! I didn't want to say that he's a narcissistic pervert since I wasn't sure but looking back, he really seems like one. Either way, I'm happy i contributed in making someone's life a tad bit better even if it was by a small piece of advice :)

[ImSoSquishy]

so... why is getting divorced a sin? don't you religious people always say god loves us all? if he loves us all, wouldn't he want us to be happy? if you getting divorced is what it takes to be happy, wouldn't he forgive you? and i use to hear religious people say "god will always forgive you if you confess your sins" like all the time, what happened to that? or is it just bs?

[soyboy999]

That was a very real and honest Take. I mean, of course I hope you find some better way of living. I feel like setting limits must matter in a relationship, surely?

But yeah, thanks for sharing, and good luck on everything.

[soyboy999]

I guess what struck me the most was that you had to get his permission to change your hairstyle. That was really "wow".

[levantine99]

your past sound immature and with many regretable actions, but if someone goes to heaven it must be people like you, if you manage to keep that till the end. i wonder though. are you at least loving? or the child will be raised in a toxic environment where parents resent one another? do you have love in your hearts? for one another.

[levantine99]

also are you sure he is a man of god? he soudns manipulating. what loving husband wouldn't want you to go back in college and have a better life. only a jealous manipilating psycho would behave like it

[Curmudgeon]

Key Question: IS HE GOOD TO YOUR SON? (Which is also his son...)

If he was somehow abusive, I would say get the **** out of there.

But if he really does try to be a good father, then for your son's sake, stick it out.

[Curmudgeon]

The son comes first, not your vague dissatisfaction, nor your desires elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

So you got rid of all your friends and developed family issues just for an unstable relationship? Wow this guy has you so brainwashed it's not even funny.

[MScifiwriter]

I think it's entirely on her. If anything she's allowing herself to act like a dunce, instead of stepping up to the plate.