How to make the man stay

There's a lot of takes on how to get the guy, and how to find the right guy. But not many ask "how do you keep him". That's what I will try to answer with this take.
Hopefully I will be able to help out some couples with this little list of 10 things you can do to make the man stay.

1. Who to let him take a "guy's night out" with?
First of all, you can not deny him having guys night out at all. You can say no to some, but never be the girl who do not let him hang out with his friends and have a beer. But who do you let him hang out with? First i'll take one friend he should generally not be allowed to hang out with in that scenario; "the ever single don juan." You know who I am talking about, the guy who goes through maybe four or five girls per night, and drops a gorgeous 8/10 over that blondie he spotted on the others side of the bar. He is not dangerous on its own, but your boyfriend has a huge risk of being a rebound for one of the girls his friend dropped, and that can lad to accidental feelings or mess. Yes, he should be able to controll himself, but better safe than sorry.
The guy you SHOULD let him go out with is his friend you know and share a friendship with, or the friend that has a steady girl/guy. If his friend is also a friend of yours, he is likely to keep your boyfriend away from girl trouble (brocode rule number 2). If his friend is taken too, neither of them will have an interrest in girls, and thus they will simply do "bro things" and drink beer.
Bonus points if you both know his friend, and his friend is taken.

2. Confirm he still has "skills with the ladies"
Before anyone of you think it is enough to tell him that, you are wrong. Men are physical, and words genereally does not mean a thing unless actions back it up. Compleiment him, flirt with him, if he looks sexy then let him know it, that kind of things. A simple wink can be enough of an action to back up the words, but always mak him feel he still got the skills.
This is important because now he gets the confirmation he needs from you. You make him feel sexy and wanted, you make him feel like a man. And the natural human instinct to crave confirmation will lad him to you, and not someone else.

3. Know how to cook.
Sexist? no, it is just that the saying "good food is the way to a man's heart" is largely true. You do not need to know how to make a 5 star dinner, it is enough to be able to surprise him with a good homecooked dinner, or a dessert. Keep one thing in mind though; this is all worth nothing if you do not show your cooking skills, so use them and use them well. He will appreciate it.

4. make him the indisputably most important thing in your life.
This one is more a double point really. We want to be the one we are, and trying to shape us and change us to be "better" is a really bad idea. Not only because this invovles you putting yourself above us when decissions are made, but also because it is changing us into something else than the one you fell in love with. You piss off the guy, and you end up removing what you fell in love with. "I'm the woman and I make the rules" does not work, and if you try to run the relationship that way, then it will fail. Cooperation is the key, run the relationship as a team.
The second point regard kids. Do not let kids take all your time! Just because you have kids, does not mean suddenly everything is about them. A relationship and love needs constant work, or else it will dwindle and die. No exceptions. Take time for eachother, be in love, show him he is and always will be the most important person in your life.
Don't beleive me? Neglect of the partner in advantage of the children is a rapidly rising reason for counceling as well as breakups.
So don't make that mistake.

5. Do not yell at him or humiliate him in front of his friends.
How would you feel if he did the same in front of your friends? That is exactly how we guys feel when you do that in front of our friends. It is not going to make him behave better or listen, it will just piss him off a lot.
If you are unsure about how to treat him arround his friends, look at how he treats you arround your friends. And instead of humiliating him, try to get him to show his best side arround his friends. Show him some affection, make him feel that you're his girl.
It will reward itself.

6. Accept his pashions and his interrests.To take an example. Annoyed at him and his friends watching football on Friday when it is more fun to go shopping with him? That's your view, his is quite different. And if you always challenge him with "me or the football" then I promise you, any guy with a bit of balls will dump you before you know it. You don't mess with his interrests, just as he shouldn't mess yours. Don't work against them either! How would you like it if he cut your visa//credit cards to pieces right before you were to go shopping? Yep, that's how guys feel when you always try to work against their hobbies.
Instead try to agree you take a girl's night out while his friends have a guy's night in. If you must have his opinion on things, agree that you can send images and have him give a reply. find something nice (especially if it makes you look sexy, cute, etc)? Snapchat it to him :)
Just don't go overboard with images. He's supposed to help you decide when you have narrowed it down to two, not judge all 30 of the clothes.

7. Sex; better 2-3 times a week and meaningfull, than routine twize a day.
The title says it all, it is better to have meaningfull and fullfilling sex 2-3 times per week than lots of routine sex. Countrary to popular belief, sex means something to us guys, it is not just bodies in motion; at least not when it is with our girl. We can feel when you enjoy it and want it, and that drives guys wild. So without going in detail, it's better to really go at it 2-3 times per week when you both REALLY want eachother.
Plus the not knowing when it will happen, but only that it will happen soon can really keep the guy at the edge and make his mind wander. He knows he will most likely get you soon, but he do not know if it will be Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, or maybe several of the days. That guessing will just tease him further and add to it; making it even more intense.
Makes sense?

8. Draw the rules early, and draw them together.
A relationship need some rules, like defining what is okay when dealing with the oposite sex, what to expect of eachother... the list is long. Most importantly is perhaps the "dealing with th oposite sex". Setting clear rules will make you both more secure and less yealous in the relationship, because you know what you expect, and you know that your partner knows what you expect from him/her. Never forget that the rules go both ways, so if you expect him to stay away from girls, then you should stay away from guys too.
If you suddenly start making those rules after say two years, then things will proably get messy. So do it early.

9. Stop the quarrels.
Have you been arguing a lot lately? If it is about something that needs to be solved, then sit down and fix it like adult people! If it is a pointless argument, then just drop it and forget it. Do not try to "win" or be "right", just drop it. Both men and women are horrible at taking the blame, so next time your partner is annoying you because "it's clearly his fault" then maybe it was yours? or maybe it was both's fault? It doesn't matter who was right, it was a poinless argument anyway! If not, they will just escalate and escalate untill it explodes, and that can and will tear you apart piece by piece until you break up.

10. Sometimes it's better to let go.
Sometimes it is in fact better to let go. If the relationship is always one-sided, and always just you who make the effort, then maybe it's time to leave? It takes two to make things work, and if your partner doesn't want to work to make it work, then it will fail.Or maybe your partner is always hurting you, maybe by cheating or being abusive? Leave!
Know when to let go, sometimes it's more painfull to hold on than to let go; remember that.

Good luck out there, and here's a potato couple for making it through the wall of textHow to make the man stay


Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. I wouldn't say no to any, unless we'd already planned something that evening but I would expect him to know that and not plan over it. I treat the guy I'm with the way I want to be treated so I let him have his freedom and I expect mine.
    2. I did this so much, my ex became even more arrogant and now most people hate him but I never shy away from complimenting them. I sometimes ask if they find another girl pretty and I'll agree with them. I don't see anything wrong with it, men are very visual, as long as they don't stare and get fixated on the girl in question! I think it's good to be honest and open if you find someone attractive. I don't expect him to only find me attractive, like I don't expect him to think I only find him attractive.
    3. I don't know how to cook so I'll just take him to a restaurant. Being able to cook hasn't been required in my relationships.
    4. They always are but he's not my number one priority. Family, friends, work come before boyfriends now. I made the mistake of putting boyfriends first, it never works out.
    5. I don't do that!
    6. I love discovering guy's passions/interests. It helps me learn about them and I always become involved in what they love and learn about it.
    7. They get plenty of sex. ;P My ex begged me to stop for a while haha.
    8. Ah, I don't like rules. I just expect respect and if we come to some disagreement, we discuss it maturely and how we would like the situation to happen differently next time it happened.
    9. I don't argue about silly things. It's rare to argue with me, it's not worth it. I like those playful fights though.

    I think I'm a great girlfriend! :D

    • sounds liek that, yeah.

      Just... don't forget that 4. should work like that with your MAN (as in, the dude you chose to wed). He should be the most important man in your life, and he should feel that. Sure, kids demand more time (especially when they're young), but make sure to remind him how much you love him.
      It's enough to hire a babysitter one day in the weekend to get out, and maybe get some time alone. Doesn't take much, just make sure he knows :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Cater for the guys needs and he will stay that simple

    • she's not your servant though...
      If that happens, SHE will be the one leaving XD

      But yeah, support him, take care of him (physically and emotionally), and show him that you love him. That's how you keep him. The 9 points were simply a concretization of that. And it seems some girls forget about them at times

Recommended myTakes

Join the discussion

What Girls Said 3

  • 3) He can cook as well. It's not only her that should be providing a good meal.

    4) He shouldn't be THE most important thing in her life. There are many things that would be of equal importance. I think children are more important.

    Otherwise, I agree.

    • 3 it's about appreciation.

      4. Ask a relationship expert, i can promise you he or she will confirm what I say. Kids need to understand love, and they only understand that when they see their parents ARE IN LOVE. If the parents are acting as frigin buttlers they'll never learn how love works.
      Also if you don't make time for eachother, love WILL die, i guarantee it. Priorizing kids first won't give you two enough time. He's not saying "i do" to be the third or fourth most important thing in your life, but to be the most important one. And believe me, it WILL piss him off A LOT if you neglect him, because you are neglecting him by not giving him enough time.
      And by putting kids first, you're communicating that he only matter for his ability to give you kids. And for that you could just as well take a night out on the town.

      What if i say SHE shouldn't be the most important thing to him? Beer, football, and hobbies matter more. They take just as much time as kids, you know...

    • Show All
    • That's completely different than what I'm seeing represented. Of course you have to make time in order for a frigging relationship to work.

      Just because you've seen relationships fail does not mean ALL do. I've seen plenty of them work.

      No man should be treated that way if he's not doing the same to the woman.

    • No, but if it can be avoided then it's an advice i think should be shared.
      And remember, appreciation can be shown in other ways than time.
      If he knows your scedule is stuffed, then even an hour one day where you two are alone and don't need to worry can and will make his day (if not his whole week). If you get a babysitter and can spend a whole evening and the night together, then that'll be damn awesome to him. Doesn't take much more than that :)

      It seems you're not the only girl anoyed at pooint number 4. and i can't lbame you. You do have that motherly bond guys don't have. And i think it should be kept and maintained, just don't let it come at the cost of neglecting your man. After all, how'd you feel if he neglcted you?

      And fiy; i chose on purpose to make that one controversial XD

  • Aww i didn't read it yet, but mr and mrs potato are just adorable :)

    • I finished reading it now. Its nice to know there are more sensible guys in this world. Im proud to say my boyfriend is a part if that group :)
      Great MyTake. Congratulations. I agree with all that u have said and it should b common sense for all people in relationships. Either treat each other well or dont b in a relationship in the 1st place.

    • Show All
    • Yes. That is entirely true! We should b nore aware of each others needs abd realise that even if we have similar traits (we are all human), about some things we do not operate in the same way due to gender. I know im bragging, but im really so lucky boyfriend wise. I've realised this. He is just so open to communication and understanding of each other. All guys and girls should b like this. by the way u seem to b one of the guys that also thinks like this and this gives me hope for the rest of the world. The world would sure b a better place with more of ur kind of guys out there!

    • thanks :)
      And yeah, understanding is an element you need, at all times. Or else it will eventually fail

  • I really liked what you said here (:


What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Recommended Questions