How to keep a modern man

[nerdybutlazy]

Spoiler you can't in a world that if I can go on my phone and find someone who wants to go on a date within a few days. I'm pretty sure you can't make a person stay or make anyone stay loyal to you for that matter.

The concept that if you are the perfect little wife to a man that he'll stay is a lie, I mean come on. Full disclosure, though let's be real no one is your property even if you're married to the person they can heavily weigh in to what you do but, they can't stop you from taking a trip to Ibiza and never coming back home. So, now that I have successfully pissed some people off how do actually keep someone around.

EASY!

You make them feel like they should stay, it's hilarious that some they're people you haven't noticed that by now. Imagine you have the perfect partner, they are attractive, great in bed, funny, sweet and kind cool right, but what if they never challenge you to be a better person? What if they literally go along with EVERYTHING YOU SAY? what if they have no opinions of they're own?

Well, if you aren't a self absurd 18 year old who thinks it's your partners job to baby you all the time then you'll see the problem. Personally, I have no problem with the 'little housewife role', if I get married I can cook and clean, I love cooking actually but in order, day society expecting your wife or husband ( cause men do cook too), it's unrealistic to expect someone to make every meal and somehow work a 9-5 just like you. Now, let say you share it 50/50. Your partner makes dinner you make them breakfast and you get lunch at work or together, which gives you both more time to do other things.

If you make things easier for your partner,

you show them you love them,

you do little things for them: like getting them their favourite ice cream, remembering something for them or even helping them get to sleep when they're overworking themselves.

spending time together and apart

But again, I'm just surprised by the number of people who think that they can make someone stay, you can't all you can really do is hope with the way you treat your partner they'll love you enough to never leave. Besides, most '10 ways to make your man stay articles' are written by people who aren't even in relationships or have been married so long they don't realize what modern dating is even like anymore.

Anyone in the modern dating scene now knows that in the next 10 years marriages will be extremely different so don't take advice from someone who hasn't been on a date for the last 20 years, please.

Good luck on figuring out dating

[JSmith925]

The best way to keep someone is to choose wisely in the first place. Most people leave or stay because they are acting according to their nature, rather than responding to every little thing you do.

That being said, you can increase your odds of success by being a good partner.

~JSmith

[MzAsh]

Great take! One important factor is keeping a man interested in you is knowing your worth. Be a high value woman with standards and boundaries. If you do those things properly, he’ll see it and he’ll want to stay in your life.

[nerdybutlazy]

Thank you, I'm happy someone understands what I saw going for

[Regmorus]

Well. There i some reasonable note in it but you don't talk about actual behaviour and attitude toward your partner at all.

Compared to yours the mytake that if I am not mistaken provoked yours was discussing this aspect in a profoundly wise way.

I can guarantee you - no presumptions though - that if the attitude of a person in relationships is annoying or restrictive almost everyone would run away from them as soon as they find that out.

In other words: your focus is more wrong than it is right. The other author - apparently assumed by you as not experienced ( the irony of that! ) - among other nailed exactly the things almost any reasonable individual would hate and suggested perfect ways how to neutralize them. And neutralizing idiotism (if existent) is the first (and with most normal people usually sufficient) step to preserve anything or anyone.

Though this does not necessarily mean that you have wrong ideas about reasonable and unreasonable behaviour toward the partner, only that the focus of this take is misplaced.

[nerdybutlazy]

I wrote this article purely out of the fact that I believe it is impossible to have women think that if they happen to be the perfect women they will have the perfect marriage. It was annoying if want I'll write a whole other article on "how to keep a modern man" because the article the person wrote was again not great advice for modern dating and if that uses those same points in today's dating scene, they have a lot in store for them

[Regmorus]

Well... It is your opinion. I guarantee it that almost every man/guy whom I know and count as normal definitely would love the girl who would do all that and would be faithful to her. The question is always who we are talking about.

If you take people who are not yet fully developed (which does not mean that they ever will be in this life) of course you can't keep them. But disregarding or denouncing a great advice because of that how to keep normal men is only foolish.

It's like saying: There are many cases of street crime when the attackers shoot innocent people. It is hence pointless to buy a firearm and learn how to shoot for self-defense, they will shoot you anyway if you encounter them. (I'm taking USA as example for this comparison).

Or I could give you countless other examples that demonstrate this way of thinking.

Do you get my point? As you can see by my reply I certainly got yours and replied to it.

[Rocco70]

You make men to be animals! Whether or not you have any experience, or not is your business. However, it appears either you haven't met the men running the world, who nearly always have a good woman standing beside him, or you are very bittr because of personal experiences. Im a man, I talk and listen to men among themselves. I've hurt deep down inside, even wept, because of love, for a woman. I've seen other men absolutly in distress because their woman left. There are no boundries drawn for either sex, as to how deep, lasting, absolute and un betrayable their love can be. Thousands of stories, plays, poetry and dialogues have been written about a mans love for his woman, librarys dating back to thousands of years before Christ, have been filled with this story. No one but the ioutcast, thrown out, unnloyal, deceiptive and forgotten of persons would say otherwise. Audiencies would laugh at such srtupidity. Im sorry if a woman feels rejected or guilty, or has never known love, Im sorry. I am not makeing light of your post, its very sad. More than anyything Im sorry anyone has gone through life feeling unloved. But because of any of our past, we would appear clownish to doubt a mans total love for his woman, and vise versa. To classify half of the human race as any way is a complete and failed conclusion by a bitter, forgotten or betrayed person. With so much love around us, when I see a tradegy like this, Im sad, very sad!

[nerdybutlazy]

I don't feel any particular way about men, nor am I bitter about any man out there. I'm well aware some men do stay with their wife, girlfriends, boyfriends or whatever. Still, I'm just stating the point that they don't have to stay, being in a relationship is a CHOICE. Staying married to someone is a CHOICE. I'm not sad or upset. I'm just a person who believes that we, as people have the freedom of personal will. If a person is not willing to stay with your poetry and plays aside, it doesn't matter what you do or says that won't stay. Society has normalized things like divorce to the point where if someone says, 'I just don't want to be with them anymore". There's not much you can do to change it. History talks about star crossed lovers, and that's all well and fine, but in a society where you can find love across the globe, being in a relationship with someone just because they are the best you can find at the moment seems crazy if not insane. I mean, for god sake's, you're young, and maybe you favour the old classical romances, but those wouldn't hold up to today. My post was just about the fact you can't hold people to in a relationship just because you believed you did everything, right?

That falls under the "I'm a nice guy because I did the bare minimum why won't she sleep with me" trope that is getting so boring. Both men and women have the right to leave a relationship when it's no longer serving them, or they are no longer in love. If you work towards being in love forever, Cool, Great and congrats but, that's not my point. My point purely was you can't be sure someone will stay with you for some people it is the fact you can't guarteen that the person they love will stay with them that pushes them to do better and be a better partner but, just because you do all that for someone doesn't mean they owe it to you stay stay with cause if you believe that then you want a business partnership, you don't want a relationship

[TheDarkReunion]

yea your partner should be your best friend. if you can't at least share your hobbies, interests, mentality w them... or at worst they refuse to listen to it... why are you dating them? you've gotta bounce off each other not be reliant on them for housework/money/sex/etc (especially not sex)
if your relationship will fail w/o sex then leave
if they boss you around then leave
if there's constant fighting - esp if either threatens to leave during arguments - what's stopping you? leave. miserable miserable people stuck in a failing relationship

[Anonymous]

I'm a bit confused by this. I mean, you say "I'm just surprised by the number of people who think that they can make someone stay, you can't all you can really do is hope with the way you treat your partner they'll love you enough to never leave."

But essentially what you are saying is that you treat your partner in ways you hope will make them love you and want to stay, but isn't that the same thing? I mean the "how to keep a modern man" articles you are referring to are telling you how to treat your partner in ways you hope will make them love you and want to stay, right?

I agree with you that there are no guarantees, and a woman can treat her man like gold and he might still take her for granted and end up leaving. The world is full of assholes, and they have both penises and vaginas. But treating a man you care about well will increase your odds of success substantially. Cynicism tends to do just the opposite.

[jasco]

I agree it takes to to make a baby and it takes to to break a marriage both need to be there for each other both need to build and work on each other both need love and care

[startingfitness]

no actually if you do these things and are a good little wife, most men will stay. 80% of men will stay, but the problem is that you women are thinking about the top 20% of men. those dudes will not stay. But thats on you.

[Unit1]

One thing is certain.
You can't turn a cheater into a loyal boyfriend/girlfriend.
Fuckboys will be fuckboys.
Hoes will be hoes.
Marry them and you'll be married to one and get hurt.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

You don't have to hope for anything. If you know who you are to that person they will stay. If they love you enough they will stay. Simple as that.

[LEADFOOTboi]

can't make anyone do anything... the thing about free will and acuually loving someone...