Why do many older men who used to sleep around think young and good women want to settle down with them now?

[Anonymous]

I'm on dating sites and one thing I've noticed are the older ex-player men who are now looking to settle down. For example, today I received a message from a 40-year-old man who litterally wrote in his profile that he's been playing around a lot and now feels done with that and ready to settle down with a good woman and have kids... I mean, why would a good (and young, because they're usually looking for much younger women) want an older man who's been sleeping around up until now? That's just disgusting.

Another example was a 43-year-old man who wrote to me. I didn't respond so he wrote again, asking if it's because of his age. I told him yes, a big part of it is his age. He then went on a rant, sending me multiple long messages, where he was complaining about women being too picky about age, that age is just a number and doesn't matter (even though he was 43 and only looking for 18-29 year olds), that he's youthful, that it's so difficult to find a "good" woman without kids who haven't been married or lived with a boyfriend before, that he just wanted to settle down and have a family now and this and that. And in his profile you could read that he was done chasing casual sex and short romances, and now wanted something real... These were just two of the many guys like this I've been contacted by. How could they possibly believe young and good women would ever want to settle down with them? They seem to believe it would be easy for them to find someone. I've read online forums too where in discussions about settling down and having kids some men say things like "I'm not having kids until I'm 45-55". When you point out that women that age often can't get pregnant naturally they just brush it off as nothing and say "I'll just marry a younger woman", as it'll be easy for them to find...

And yeah, I know there are female versions of these men too, I'm not talking about them in this post though.

[theharlequin]

You have to keep in mind that you're dealing with guys online, and they can *say* anything. From the way these guys are acting, they're losers and probably always have been. Older guys who have ever been successful with women don't find it difficult to attract younger women. Often, it's easier, and they don't have to resort to online dating sites to find them.

Ninety nine percent of the older guys using online dating sites are there because they can't get anything in real life connections. And they harbor bitterness and resentment, which occasionally explodes as you saw for yourself.

[OlderAndWiser]

If I was not already involved in a relationship, I would be open to dating a younger woman - if she was interested - but I would never expect a woman 20 years younger than me to be interested, and I would never pursue such women.

I think you can just assume that such men are about 20 years delayed in their social maturity and they see younger women as their peers. Being self-absorbed can make a person blind!

[Anonymous]

They believe that fantasy that they have created for themselves that older men are at the top of the dating hierarchy and can have the young, good looking women who don't lack in personality either. These men fail to realise that they are far from being considered the ideal life partner. I guess it's the male ego that makes them this delusional.

[alice55]

They're delusional. They surely watched too much tv and are out of the reality.
This whole trend of younger girls liking older men is pretty much dead now, they all want to date guys around their now.

[Coaltraining]

Lots of men and women are promiscuous. Often they were sexually abused as children. It stunts their development and ruins their lives and most hopes of meeting normal milestones (marriage, children etc.)

That is frustrating to realise (which they inevitably do once they can no longer use the skills they've used since childhood for attention.)

Promiscuous people hate sex, and hate themselves but they value themselves for whatever sex they can get. It's a perverse mindset usually passed down by some other pervert and the cycle continues.

Realising that means grieving the loss of what their life could've or should've been, grief makes people insane.

TLDR life sucks for some folk in sex and relationships.

[AynonOMouse]

I don't know why players/sluts of any age expect to have a good partner at all.

Someone being older and single doesn't mean they were doing hook ups though. Sometimes they just couldn't find the right person for a long time to settle down with and make a family.

[WalterRadio]

You can do them a favor by referring them to an Asian-centric dating site, where there are plenty of Filipinas and other women who are in their early 20s and would love to find a man in his late 30s or 40s to marry and have kids with.

[wilbonn19]

Because there are a LOT of females out there that want "mature"(older) guys. I've seen a few questions from girls in your age asking questions about their older sugar daddy/fwb relationships here just in the last 24 hrs. That's why.

[Asker]

No there isn't. That's also why these men have a hard time finding someone.

[wilbonn19]

Soooo... you're TELLING ME what questions I have and have not seen on here in the last 24 hrs?

[wilbonn19]

Maybe the reason why you're worried about this-instead of worrying about a decent current relationship with someone your own age that you currently DON'T have, is because your attitude (like a typical American SheMale, is a stinking global joke.

[Asker]

No, I'm telling you what questions you've seen and not seen on here is irrelevant.

[Celtero]

Women prefer older men and don't mind as much when their partner have vast sexual experience.

[Asker]

No, women don't prefer much older men. Very few do. Even fewer good young women are interested in much older men who's been sleeping around their whole lives. That's the reason these men have a hard time finding somebody.

[Celtero]

Optimal age for men is ~30 or so. Though, it's not uncommon for young women to date even older.

I've seen a lot more women claiming to want experience over chastity.

For the record, I think it's nice that you're different.

Though, my guess is those men are losers in general, and wouldn't get women even if they were young and not manwhores.

[SirRexington]

Because they are hypocritical idiots. They are used to getting everything they want and still expect to.

[Anonymous]

Because a lot of young and good women are obsessed with older men. And they have money.

[Asker]

No they're not, and definitely not for a husband and father of their kids.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes they are. I see a bunch of young girls on here are literally obsessed with older men. I see them on dating sites, other social forums and in real life.

[Anonymous]

I know many women who date 40-year-olds while their 20s. So they do get success a lot.

[Bdc420]

Yeah