Should women over 30 accept that men prefer young women and stop trying to find marriage?

[Anonymous]

If this hypothetical "wall" exists for women once we hit 30, is there any point in trying to date? I'll be 30 in a couple months, and part of me wonders if it would just be better giving up the search, especially since most men want young women.

As older women, we could just keep focusing on building careers, having great friends, being close to family, traveling as much and whenever we want to, enjoying life and exploring new things, making more money with the freedom of no kids or man to get in the way or even maybe have a kid on our own. I would only try to have my own kid once I reach a certain income (and I'm aggressive about reaching a certain income anyway). My friend is my age and having a baby on her own, so that had me thinking about this again.

I personally am very picky about men and wouldn't settle for some who wasn't right for me. And I dont want to date anyone who would prefer to be dating a 21 year old - that doesn't even make sense to me because I'm very far from the personality and mindset of a young woman.

What do you think? I know not many older women are on this website, but thought I'd throw it out there.

[jdougie755]

You ever been looking for something you can use your sunglasses wallet... and when you finally stop looking for it it just kind of shows up? I've had a couple two year relationships. A couple months here and their relationships end just back and forth casual shit. One night stands back in the twenties don't care for it and I totally understand what you're saying 20 slums don't fucking have anything to say they don't have opinions they just try to be like everybody else they don't know anything they just try to represent life what can you know what that is if you're into to sex then at 30 chances are when you hit 40 and they had 30 I'm going to change out to a new model themselves might as well go and have a partner that you can share shit like life experiences and just general life lived LOL I feel the same thing as a 32 year old guy the tag relationships kind of regrets on some losses but sees their wrongs in the end that made them who they are I called this character in general I'm a construction worker so I'm going to use a construction analogy it's like a pair of work boots and hard hat generally if you're inexperienced tradesman the top guys don't have clean boots or shiny articuno life skills grit Les filles character live shows Redemption and wanting more in life than just something that's meaningless never give up live life and life will happen I hope it all works out for you everyone deserves happiness really...

[worldscolide]

I will address a few of your points..

1. The main reason i wouldn't date someone in their thirties is two fold (keeping in mind i am married now to someone 9 years my junior, and we got married when she was 22 and i was 31).. First reason is that 9 times out of 10 women in their thirties are usually single mothers.. I dont want that kind of thing in my life. Second reason is that if she is not a single mother, she is likely one of those women that claim to be strong and independent, the feminist type, and i dont need that kind of immaturity in my life. They usually have this arrogant mindset that they dont need a man in their life. That may be true, but i won't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't make me feel needed.

2. Choosing to be a single mother is to me, incredibly stupid.. The absolute worse things come from single mother households. Greater chances of promiscuity, greater chances of high school drop out, greater chances of teen pregnancy, greater chances of suicide, greater chances of Drug use and alcoholism. These are not assumptions, these are statistical facts.

3. I dont believe the wall exists, men in their thirties just have their preferences..

[worldscolide]

Follow up to my reasons in 2..

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.

85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)

80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)

Father Factor in Education – Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.

Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.

Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.

Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.

Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average.

Father Factor in Drug and Alcohol Abuse – Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Teens in single mother households are at a 30% higher risk than those in two-parent households.

[worldscolide]

70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (U. S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)

85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)

Father Factor in Incarceration – Even after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds. A 2002 Department of Justice survey of 7,000 inmates revealed that 39% of jail inmates lived in mother-only households. Approximately forty-six percent of jail inmates in 2002 had a previously incarcerated family member. One-fifth experienced a father in prison or jail.

Father Factor in Crime – A study of 109 juvenile offenders indicated that family structure significantly predicts delinquency. Adolescents, particularly boys, in single-parent families were at higher risk of status, property and person delinquencies. Moreover, students attending schools with a high proportion of children of single parents are also at risk. A study of 13,986 women in prison showed that more than half grew up without their father. Forty-two percent grew up in a single-mother household and sixteen percent lived with neither parent

Father Factor in Child Abuse – Compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical, emotional, or educational neglect. The overall rate of child abuse and neglect in single-parent households is 27.3 children per 1,000, whereas the rate of overall maltreatment in two-parent households is 15.5 per 1,000.

[worldscolide]

thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/

[worldscolide]

Additionally Single mothers commit the vast majority of child abuse, child neglect, and child murder, to the tune of 71%

The DHHS data shows that of children abused by one parent between 2001 and 2006, 70.6% were abused by their mothers, whereas only 29.4% were abused by their fathers.

And of children who died at the hands of one parent between 2001 and 2006, 70.8% were killed by their mothers, whereas only 29.2% were killed by their fathers.

Furthermore, contrary to media portrayals that leave the viewer with the impression that only girls are ever harmed, boys constituted fully 60% of child fatalities. (Table 4-3, p. 71, Child Maltreatment 2006, www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm06/cm06.pdf, reports that 675 boys died in 2006 as compared to 454 girls).

The pervasive media bias cannot help but influence judges. Thus the newspapers, TV shows, and movies that promote this bias must bear a significant part of the responsibility for child abuse and deaths of children at the hands of violent mothers.

[worldscolide]

www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm06/cm06.pdf

[Asker]

A lot of the issues with single mothers are significantly influenced by socioeconomic factors, not about being a single mother itself. There are a lot of positives to being a single mother, especially given the huge rates for divorce or bad fathers. My friend is mostly doing it because the father didn't want to claim the child, so she didn't have a choice. She has a good family and career, her child will most likely not struggle with the issues youve mentioned. And much better off that having a bad father in her life.

[worldscolide]

yeah but at least in the states.. Most fathers are not bad fathers... and yet are treated that way.. until you have done a stint in family court like i have, you have no experience or place to talk from. Family court is the only place where the mother is assumed to be good and the father has to prove he is not bad. And you can't really argue statistics... Like 80% of all divorces are initiated by the mother.. Not because of infidelity, not because of abuse, But because she got bored with the relationship. And in that situation, 90% of the divorces men lose access to their children..

I could care less what your opinion is on it, statistics do not lie.

[worldscolide]

Why People are Divorcing in the United States

42. Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages:

Lack of commitment 73% (Please note that lack of commitment does not mean cheating)
Argue too much 56%
Infidelity 55%
Married too young 46%
Unrealistic expectations 45%
Lack of equality in the relationship 44%
Lack of preparation for marriage 41%
Domestic Violence or Abuse 25%

www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/

ifstudies.org/.../lets-stop-blaming-men-for-divorce-a-response-to-harry-benson

[worldscolide]

I would also point out, that every single mass shooter in our history save for just one.. Was from a single mother home..

[Asker]

Plenty of fathers cause plenty of damage. I don't think the United States is any different from any other country in that area.

[worldscolide]

maybe, but the stats speak for them selves. based on your logic its like saying 99 % are like xyz but because the 1 % isn't, that trumps all of the statistics. It does not. You can either accept the fact or not, i do not care.

[Anonymous]

No! Never stop!

My dad passed away 14 years ago. My mum never bothered to look for another guy, although my brother and I both said it was ok if she did. Then 4 years ago, she was running along out sea front promenade, and bumped into a guy that she used to see when they were walking respective dogs. They became an item, just by that chance meeting. Been part of the family ever since.

Just keep your eyes open and grab a chance.

[Asker]

I just dont want to expect or hope for something that may not happen. Too much of a bummer and life is so much bigger than just that. Good for your mom, but she also already had a child. Not exactly the same situation.

[Opinion Owner]

Try not to be defeatist! You never know who is round the next corner. Just be ready to grab him.

[AnggieGirl]

Gurl I feel ya! Age ain't just a number. If a man dont want a woman his age, that's his inferior mentality. We rise and conquer and they'll be washing our floors and toilets.

Im able to say, I wished I had a baby on my own instead of with some one who made me do it alone without their help. Most guys leave a woman after giving birth because she isn't sexual for him. Only a woman can understand that.

[Kurαȷ]

I mean, traveling, enjoying life and making money with freedom without worrying about children getting in the way is precisely why many men prefer younger women.

It's why *I* prefer young women.
But it is not what most older women want.
Most women past 30 want to desperately settle down and have children because they feel like their time is running out, they move in with their new boyfriends after 2 months "because they feel it's right" and do other dumb stuff because their hormones are getting the best of them.

[Asker]

Our priorities have to be different if we want to get married and have a baby. "Hormones getting the best of them" has little to do with it. It's called fertility and biology and awareness of the limits on their ability to achieve said goals. And maybe an exaggerated fear due to social messaging, but still, fertility is a thing.

I just have to decide whether to give up on it or not, because that will pretty much define my 30s. If I decide not to get married or have a baby (or have baby on my own) then being in a relationship is lot less important honestly. Still a thing I'd want, but it would take a back seat to the things I mentioned.

And yes, we all know the reasons men love young women, it's not a secret lolol
Everyone has a match, your match is young women and that's fine. I just have to figure out my own shit.

[AnggieGirl]

Hormones getting the best of them? 🤣🤣🤣 How about u mens dicks getting the best of you!

[AynonOMouse]

When they are passed 30, dating a single father, or someone that doesn't want kids is still very reasonable and possible. I think it is only people that don't have kids yet, but do want their own biological kids that are less interested in women passed 30 to start a new relationship with.

[btbc92]

Ignore those guys. Many of them can't keep a girlfriend or a marriage.

[RemoErdosain]

I don't think women should give up. First of all, being thirty years old is still being young, and secondly, my girlfriend is in her early forties and I wouldn't prefer a younger woman by any means. There are more people like me for sure

[Asker]

But are you getting married and having a kid though? That's what I'm talking about - the serious romantic goals and children. Also if I'm not married by 40, that's a whole other situation...

[RemoErdosain]

We will marry. We won't have kids of our own. If she were thirty, we could certainly try to have a kid. It's just too dangerous now

[Shuri]

I'm 30, my boyfriend is 34, and we're discussing marriage. He met me when I was in September, but to answer your question, no. That's just something society puts in the minds of women so they hurry up and pop out babies. They want us to put our value into our uterus.

[KrakenAttackin]

I would say you need to do an honest self-assessment. What do you have to offer relative to your long-list of "must haves" in a man? If you have 20 items as must haves in a man, you need to have 20 things you can offer.

Just like eating habits in your teens ( a 16 year old girls metabolism is 3X what that of a 35 year old womans is), you will get super fat if you if don't change your caloric intake (as will men), your dating needs to become more realistic as well IMHO.

[Uncut]

I disagree with you on this. I don’t go after you get women. No offence to them but I prefer a more mature women in her 30s. This is for several reasons. They tend to have a stable job and their own money Much better in bed, and on the same maturity level as myself.

[Uncut]

Dang autocorrect. Young women is what I meant to say.

[ShadowofRegret]

Some guys prefer older women, and I mean for serious relationships, we might be in the minority, but we do exist though!

[Asker]

Marriage and child though, not just "serious relationship." Thats the issue with younger guys.

[ShadowofRegret]

That's what I meant by "serious relationship", as in marriage and children.

[ShadowofRegret]

Forgive me, I should have been more clear on what I meant.

[Smiley_face101]

30 is not old and think about it, you are much younger then 40-50 year old men, they would love dating you

[Asker]

A lot of those men want young women too, but also... I'm not really sure I would date much older than 40. Even that seems like a lot to me.

It's not like a negative thing if I can't find someone, in a lot of ways it's freeing because if I focus on marriage and a child within the next few years, that's a lot of pressure. Accepting that it might not happen is actually pretty healthy, I think.

[Avicenna]

Of course not. Women intheir 30s are very marriageable. Even when I was a young adult, I thought women reached their peak attractiveness in their early- to mid-30s.

[sensogal]

Yes, I'm mostly chased by way younger early 20s or way older 55 (then I'm the young bimbo they are looking for). That's cool, go for them 😂

[shortster]

You might have to alter what you're looking for; but you shouldn't have to give up the search. My mother recently got remarried and they seem to be very happy together. So if there is hope for her then there is certainly hope for you.

[Asker]

Your mother already had a child though - very different story.

[shortster]

If having a child is the most important aspect of finding someone; you shouldn't alter that part of your search. But instead relax the less important ones, like say age.

[Ephemera1]

If you're taking care of your health and appearance, then I say no reason for you to quit. Only quit on marriage if you also quit on yourself.

[Dchrls78104]

I would date or marry a woman over 30. The closer the girl is to my own age, the more datable she would appear to me. After all, I am 42! Why would I rush to date someone under 30, as if I could become that age again by doing so?

[ArchEnemy]

I think you should not give up on it there are many guys out there would date you. I will be completely honest though if I had the choice between a 21 yr old girl and someone older I am going for the 21 year old no offense.

[theCobbler]

Almost 30 and thinking about giving up... not a good idea! It'll happen if you let it; meaning just breathe, and let life happen! Searching to hard will. only make it seem useless!

[BloJo]

I lost my virginity, as an adult, to a woman who was at least fifteen years older than I. She was possibly more than twenty years older than I.

[Asker]

What does this have to do with my question though?

[BloJo]

You asked if women who are older than thirty should accept that men prefer younger women. My point is that some men do not prefer younger women. My first two partners were both older than I. The first was enough older than I that she could have had a kid my age.

[ghost_wolf]

ıf the man has enough income, they can choose young women and ease their life so that the woman can have better opportunities as well. but if a man can not reach to a certain income level, whatever the man does it is hard to get a serious woman :)

[MangoB83]

Over 30? That’s what’s old now? Seriously I consider girls under 35 as young because that’s at least several years younger than I am now.

[Liam_Hayden]

Some of us prefer women who are older. Far less drama and far fewer games.

[Asker]

I've considered younger guys, but I'm not sure how many guys in their mid 20s are trying to get married and have a baby within like 2-4 years. Would you honestly be that serious?

[AnggieGirl]

Amen girl!

[Liam_Hayden]

I am congenitally sterile so babies are quite literally impossible for me.