Why do men 18-39-50+ so hotly pursue women 18-24-28 for relationships and marriage, and ignore the rest of us looking to marry and have children?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Women's primary fertility window is 18 to 28. Pregnancies after 35 are considered geriatric pregnancies (that is the medical term for them, because the likelihood of complications increases significantly, especially if it is the first pregnancy).

Not only is this nothing new, it's been the way of the world since the beginning of human existence. It used to be that women were taught these facts by their mothers and grandmothers as critical information. And women who were unmarried by 30 were considered to be "spinster", what Asians call "leftover women", meaning women who were unable (or, perhaps unwilling) to attract a husband during her fertility window, which is also, unsurprisingly, a woman's primary marriage window.

What changed? FEMINISM. Specifically second-wave Feminism, as led by Gloria Steinem and the Friedan sisters. These women were vehemently anti-marriage and anti-family, instead pushing women to choose college (where they could be more deeply indoctrinated) and careers and to pursue casual sex rather than committed relationships. Note that they were funded significantly by a few wealthy, Marxist billionaires who new that women entering the workforce would collapse the cost of labor, due simply to nearly doubling the supply.

So, today, women are not taught to use their marriage opportunity window when they have it, but instead told that they MUST go to college (which puts most into debt) and a career. But while men who go to college and have careers are seen as more desirable by women, the opposite is NOT true. A woman's education and career are, at best, irrelevant to men, or are sometimes a negative.

Largely, the men who want to marry are those who want children, which means they will be seeking women early in their fertility window, just as men have ALWAYS done, become biology has not changed.

It is Feminism that has betrayed women by teaching them that they can put off marriage until their mid-30s, which is when most women finally start taking relationships seriously, but by then, the vast majority of men aren't going to want her. That's harsh, but it's the truth, and it's not the fault of men. Men get told to shut up and get called misogynists anytime they bring this up, so now, men are just letting women fail on their own. It's not what we wanted, but it's all we've been left with.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

So why aren’t you pursuing younger men? Look here is the thing many men who wanted serious relationships (and women too) have gotten married by now so they’re off the market. As where the men who just want to fuck around, have kids out of wedlock, etc… Are still chasing the same old excitements to fill a now empty void inside themselves. They feel young again…. They’re hot. It’s exciting. Many older women are either married or not looking for that who are single.

So you’re right those men cheating on their wives (which you’re just as bad if you knowingly slept with them) and men who are single for the reason of they want to sleep around. Yeah…. That’s whose leftover. As well as women who have lived the same lifestyle as you’re leading me to believe by what you said.

Are there exceptions to this rule? Absolutely many. Sometimes they find one another or maybe they marry someone who divorced for reasons out of their control maybe they were a good husband but got cheated on or his wife left for some reason. Maybe widowed even. They may also find a younger man who hasn’t married yet.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

looking at these comments, any man that has an opinion on fertility age, shut your mouth. we are in the year 2025. 35 is no longer considered a "geriatric pregnancy" and many women can naturally conceive at 40. if you don't have a vagina or know anything about how cycles and ovulation works, you don't need to say crap as you have no idea what you're even talking about.

anyways. the reason why older men go after younger women is because they only think women are good for sex. that's it. something pretty to hang on to their arm. they are in their midlife crisis. no other women their age will even look at them because they know they are creeps. they are likely even divorced. they're gross. they think as long as they have money, they're in. i don't know how any 20 year old looks at older men and thinks yeah your wrinkly body is hot... please...

it is harder to meet someone in your 30's, but it is definitely possible. especially these days, i feel like more and more people are single after the pandemic happened. you say you're christian, do you go to church and try to mingle? or ask friends of friends if they know anybody that's single? you really just need to weed out all of the weirdos. only mature men go after women their age. sadly, most men aren't mature.

DangerouslyCute · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's men's problem... if something repeatedly happens to you, I would say you are the common denominator...

statistically, as there are different men, you should find someone interested in you

until there is something in you that prevents it...

look at your behaviors, insecurities, way you look and at others and speak to others... retrospection is a great tool or self improving

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As a relationship coach, I aim to shed light on these complex dynamics. Often, attraction is driven by societal norms and media influence, focusing on youth. But hey, age is just a number in love ✨! Many mature men realize that older women bring wisdom, stability, and mutual understanding. Red flags are lurking around when there's too much focus on age. Authentic connection, communication, and shared goals are what truly matter! Don't settle for anything less, darling ❤️.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

SOME guys chase after younger women, because the younger women who are receptive to older men are energetic, eager to please, and their lives are not defined by routines. But ALL guys are not chasing younger women. I am married now; I am 70 and my wife is 62. When I was dating, my lower age limit was 10 years younger than me, but I rarely dated a women who was more than 5 years younger, and I also dated women who were 3-5 years older than me. I have an acquaintance who is 67 and his age limit is also 10 years younger than him. Go to the mall, park your butt on a seat in a main corridor, and look at the couples who pass by. Most of them are close in age.

Your perception is convenient, but wrong. For whatever reason, you "failed to launch" and now it is easier to blame all men than it is to accept responsibility for your actions and inactions. Perhaps it is the lack of personal responsibility that kept men away from you. If my response makes you angry, remember that loud and insistent denial doesn't mean that you are right.

Finchie40 · Answer

Not being mean but are you attractive? Most
Men want an attractive girl before he even considers pursuing her , also not every guy wants kids’ or
Marriage either , I’m 47 and I already had
Kids’ and now my kids’ are older , plus got fixed so no more baby making for me , so I prefer girls’ that do not want kids’ or already had kids’ already that do not want more. i love kids’ but I do not want to start over raising them from the beginning lol. Also if you are limiting yourself for age requirements that’s also going to make it harder for you to meet someone that might be amazing to you , Holding age as a deciding factor is shouldn’t really mean anything , unless they are Linder legal age of consent , Most older guys’ love girls’ your age , I know I do for a lot of reasons

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

You aren’t being overlooked because of your age. You are jaded and likely always have been. That’s clear from the phrasing of your “question”.
I suspect you’re attempting to pick a fight; rather than learn something about yourself or other people.

Avicenna · Answer

Hmmm, I’d love to meet a woman your age (but you’d probably consider me too old!).

lightbulb27 · Answer

Be careful of your false assumptions that are limiting your view.

I was ina similar "rut" and older than you bofore getting anywhere. No way around it your beliefs limit you in a cesspool world. As well, your dating skills and behavior and beliefs limit you.

So you gotta make some changes and which ones is up to you.

I know the follwing:

I met my wife... non christian but has good values/faith in 50's.

I know non christians married lat 30's early 40s and made kids

I know christians married mid 30's with a kid now.

I seen other christians married in their 50's.

So it is really a matter of getting out there, putting yourself out there and pushing bast boundaries to get what you want. A lot of girls failed with me because I was difficult and I had hangups. If they had worked harder, they'd have gotten at least past my hickups. Don't assume guys are healthy, even christians, have dating skills, know what they want, etc. Some do... some don't. Everyone has their issues.

Don't believe what others tell you, believe what you want and that you can achieve it. I did pray for someone special to come into my life. My wife was a surprise, not at all what I expected, but it's worked out well. I dont' have my own kids unfortunately but am step parent.

you may end up in that roll if you don't get the job done soon.

Remember dating... is a sales job, it's another set of skills. I had to really push myself to get out of my "ruts".

Berethor · Answer

You looking but you closed your messages? it's natural instinct for men to pefer young women, mainly because of how women's fertility falling fast after 35, and the fact that old women can't have children, while old men can, then there is also the fact that young women tend to look better, being kissless virgin is rare for old women, especially nowadays, a young women is much more likely to be virgin and not have a baggage from previous relationships. Actually it nice that you never had sex, and didn't even kissed, but that advantage only goes so far, because of the fertility and looks factors. The first kiss is almost comparable to first sex in japan, so I think that it's good that you didn't has you first kiss.

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/age-and-fertility

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Sacred_First_Kiss

RavVid · Answer

In truth it is genetic & evolutionary that we like 18 yo girls best from when we are 8 to 80. Whilst we might try for that age bracket and occasionally have some success i don't think we have serious long term ambitions.

There are quite a lot of factors at play.

For a start there has been over 60 years of women vilifying men. That might be largely a noisy minority but it has become endemic among women. If somebody doesn't like you the normal response is that you don't like them. Men still like women's bodies but that is possibly all that is left of a past general affection between the genders. Honorable exceptions are still possible though.

The classic deal of marriage for life and honoring vows is long since dead. 50% of those happy brides divorce by year 8 and 70-80% of those divorces are initiated by the wife when the children enter elementary school. Another batch of wives divorce on empty nest.

It is very much a dud deal for men. A woman like yourself might not be like this but how do we tell? Nobody would marry if the deal was honestly for 8 years upfront. In a number of countries (such as my own) you can't afford to clock up two years with a woman.

Marriage was the price of sex for most of human history but it isn't now. And sexual exclusivity isn't part of the deal anymore either.

It makes more sense now for men to pursue short term relationships as there is not long term investment by women and a consequence of that is to reach down in age as much as you can with short term success.

There are a lot of other factors but those are the fundamentals..

new-person · Answer

This is a personal choice, but I can say men do normally look for a younger woman. This is for a few reasons. 1. Younger women are still in the stage of reproducing/having children. 2. Younger women have more energy, this has connection to outside, and the bedroom. 3. Being with a younger women makes them feel young again. 4. Younger women still look young witch is attractive and and arousing. In the end every guys dream is to be with a young woman in her early 20s. But not all men do, as a person men or women in their early 20s are still in the party stage and not fully serious and mature minded. So some men look for a women just past it witch is 27 the late 20s. But why do 50 men go out with young women? Midlife crisis, to feel young again, and they do not mind having more children. Now even though some men look for a younger women, if the right women came along they will still consider her, this = all the men that did not like you and did not bother, all must have seen something they did not like. Now some men will lower their standers sometimes like for a women that likes the same hobby he loves. For you to find a right man that will look past his dream of a younger woman you need to attract his interest in another way, download the meet up app, go to groups that involves something you love, some of them have singles nights and meet a guy there. First make friends and then show him how fun and how much you love the same thing. This will attract his interest in you and open the door for you to date, if you play your cards right.

Anonymous · Answer

Feminists will tell you that either you can have kids well into your 40s or that men's sperm is no good after 40. Unfortunately they are just lies. Women are able to get pregnant after 40; but it is rare and often accompanied by health issues. Men's sperm isn't as good as it was before 40; but men are quite capable of impregnating women well after 40 and that rarely have health issues. As such, men will often favor women under 30 for a family. Whereas men tend to be more successful as they get older. Not to mention their maturity doesn't fully kick in until 32. This leads to an age gap between men and women favoring men as the older partner; where 10-15 years seems to be the ideal gap. Yet most people think that the same age relationship is the ideal because that was true in middle school and highschool. Yet you are an adult now and no longer a child and shouldn't use the same ideas from childhood dating for adult relationships. Ultimately you can disregard everything I say as it is your own life; but your life will be better off if you do take heed to my words.

Kelley1 · Answer

Why do men 18-39-50+ so hotly pursue women 18-24-28 for relationships and marriage, and ignore the rest of us looking to marry and have children?

The chart shows why men pursue young women.

You had dozens of opportunities when you were 18 to 25. However, you rejected the guys that wanted to marry you to chase after the sexy and exceptionally good looking Chads out of your league that would fuck you, but marry the hot women within their league. Now that you are a hide that lost your bloom, the guys you rejected in your prime don't want you in your decline.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I was about to say that there is no fairness to expect in anything attraction and love, but you're mentioning religion... So maybe you were expecting fairness, I don't know how much religious you are and what your religion is telling you about the world. Or what you think this religion is telling you.

I believe in the saying that everyone can find someone, because it would be statistically delirious to think the opposite. But that doesn't mean you're going to meet someone you wanted. It's just gonna be... Someone. And that's when sitting on a bench waiting. If you're socializing actively I'd find it odd that you don't even find the beginning of a spark somewhere

Cormac995 · Answer

I think it's largely a perception of fertility. Some guys are in fact creeps and "Like little girls." Like Leonardo Decaprio who jumps from chick to chick as soon as they get too old for him but most of the time when I hear about a man wanting a young wife when he's older it's connected to kids and how younger woman are probably better. I think part of it's even subconscious honestly because these are linked to primal instincts from when we were still monkeys. Simply put older woman are seen as less fertile.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I assume it's probably done in an effort to keep things less complicated.

I've lost count of the number of times I've tried to be understanding and patient in dating, only to have it thrown in my face and be punished for wounds I didn't cause. My girlfriend (and hopefully future wife) is a 29-year-old Dentist whose father forbade her from dating until she finished school so she's incredibly innocent and naive. She's deeply conservative and religious, and she has the body of a pin-up model.

Every step of the way, I've needed to stop myself from running away because of past experiences where I was hurt.

Vevv123 · Answer

There are multiple factors, not just age. But there are a few that would go for much younger women, just like there are a few that look for someone that can match them intellectually, or match them spiritually. First focus on your own qualities because those are the ones that should be appreciated. Don’t worry about the men who only appreciate youthfulness or looks. Superficiality can only go so far in a relationship.

bddddd · Answer

Some statistics. My understanding is that on average men tend to marry 1-2 year younger women. But the science based on dating site response rates is that women's dating capital peaks at an age of about 23 ... partly that is because if a man wants children they want to bed down, so to speak, a secure relationship before committing to 18 years or more supporting a child... that typically takes 3 to 5 years of relationship commitment plus the 9 months of pregnancy. Partly it is just aesthetics.

Apple1996 · Answer

As much as they say its for fertility that just isn't true. Older men chasing younger women usually just couldn't find someone their own age range to settle with because they are trash so they find a younger woman who is dumb and can't identify that they are trash yet. At 34 you still have a lot of fertile years left so do not listen to these comments from men talking about fertility when they know litterally nothing about the female cycle/body.

Staximus · Answer

It's probably the way you interact with guys, or you're oblivious and not paying attention to the guys who wanted you around, or you show no interest or attraction to guys who are interested in attracted to you. You sure no interest or attraction that most of the guys are not even going to make an attempt. I said this plenty of times on here before. The ugliest girl at my high school of 4500 students had boyfriends all through high school. You know why? Because she tried and made an attempt to be social and interact with guys. She probably makes you look like a beauty queen. So you probably need to work on the way you interact with guys and work on your social skills. A lot of girls act like guys are psychic and will magically know if she's attracted to them without showing any signs whatsoever. Sitting there like a bump on a log is not how you get a guy.

anon1903 · Answer

Because dating has always been about control for men. The younger she is, the more naive and dependent on him. Financially, socially, emotionally... They want a girl who counts on them to take all the decisions for her

SweetDripp · Answer

I'm pretty sure she isn't the only factor and most likely isn't even the primary factor here. I don't want to sound mean or judgmental but attractiveness, personality, belief system and hygiene are all more important in finding a partner. Maybe your problem isn't age related at all.

Babygirl_S · Answer

The desire to serve a younger woman is real. An older man DEFINITELY looks worse than younger men. They DEFINITELY lose their looks in old age like us. Then they start simping for younger girls. It’s definitely simping when she looks that much better than you. She dominates him. He wags his tail. That’s the way to be.

melanieeeB · Answer

I'm convinced that men who pursue younger women, only do so, cause they wanna control them better and get away with certain things. A woman who knows what she wants is not going to put up with his bullshit.

Anonymous · Answer

Why weren't you looking to marry and have children in your 20s?

See this is an inequality that the cultural defect has bestowed upon both genders.

Basically the inequality is that at younger ages women have it much easier to find a partner, men (good or bad) are throwing themselves at them. Average young men do not have that.
But the advantage men have is that , men can eventually can built up the things that attract women but women cannot because the primary thing men want in women is looks and fertility , the former in most cases goes down with age (for both genders) and the latter undoubtedly does.

SotiCoto · Answer

... Your question sounds like desperation and possibly bitterness.
So I'm guessing one of three possible scenarios:
#1. You had opportunities but rejected all of them without even passing consideration because they were below your standards.
#2. You're abnormally unappealing, either physically or behaviourally.
#3. You've been cooped up and socially isolated your entire life, so you never really had any opportunities.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I mean I'd marry a woman my age if she was an hardcore gamer, an artist, a collector of action figures, science books, and retro games, a watcher of cartoons/anime and sci-fi/fantasy movies, a cosplayer, and is a atheist and virgin who likes exotic pets, doesn't want kids, is hot/cute, and doesn't smoke, drink, or do other drugs.

Millenials or older have very few women who fit that. Gen Z has quite a few of them.

And yes, I'm also all of that, but male.

RHK36 · Answer

Something is wrong with you physically or mentally if you never had experiences with dating and finding a partner. You won't get to your 30s without having at least one good partner unless you were part of the problem. What's more likely the rest of world is the issue or you?

Syntosi · Answer

Waiting around and hoping for the outcome you want to happen is not the best strategy. If you want someone then you should go for them. Be a bit pro-active in your own life so that you can dictate your own future.

Shiprex · Answer

I empathise with you as it seems these days men are stepping away from the relationship market because there's too much to lose for them with the current legal and feminisation movement going on.

Anonymous · Answer

Don't pay too much attention to those primitive-minded men who see women as incubators. These hypocritical men are only looking for women to impregnate. And naive women in their 20s are the ideal targets for that. In other words, these primitive-minded men prefer women that age because they can easily manipulate them. Of course, no man would want a smart, mature, level-headed woman like you.

slatyb · Answer

Maybe they don't want to marry and have children. Maybe they aren't ignoring all the 30-something women, just you. Maybe you are living in the wrong place to meet men who will be interested in you.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Simple, they are not quality men.  There are good men out there, just avoid those pigs.

Anonymous · Answer

We want to start a beautiful family. Women and their biological clocks are on borrowed time as of the age of 30. They are completely out of time by 34 years of age. Therefore, we go young to ensure our chances of having a family considering our biological clocks last much longer than the opposite sex.

Anonymous · Answer

You wanna know the truth as to why... it's the maturity level not the age. I know women in their 40s 60s and 30s who have the maturity level of a child and i know 20 year olds who have the maturity of someone double and even triple their age. It has nothing to do with age as it does maturity level. I know at least 3 women 2 who are smoking hot in their 40s but have the maturity level of a damn child and i know 3 women in their 20s who have the maturity level of a woman in her 40s.

SamWinchester058 · Answer

You're asking the wrong question. Your question should be about you. What AREN'T you doing to attract a man you would want to spend the rest of your life with?

LiamS95 · Answer

While I don't think a girl of 24 is too young for me I also don't think a woman of 38 is to old for me. We're not all in the category you suggest. If you'd like to chat sometime feel free to follow me.

Darklydarkened · Answer

Why wouldn't they? Give me one good reason why they should aim for women older than 35?

Jennz6 · Answer

I’m 35 years old and I’m convinced that most men think that women my age are too old to start a family because they can have more children with a younger girl.

DannyUk2017 · Answer

Welcome to the 2025 trend! Where age gap is Something seen as NORMAL! 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Girl, if you genuinely think those men are worth your time, the problem isn’t the men.

Anonymous · Answer

When you go to pick flowers, do you pick the older ones that are wilting or on the verge of doing so? When you buy veggies and fruit, do you buy the ones that have been sitting there for several days?

oldpigg · Answer

Women aged 34 are more likely to give birth to children with birth defects.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

“All men”. Patton put it best, “Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.”

genericname85 · Answer

cause women these ages are biologically best to have children with. it's litterally as shallow as that.

Chocolatetwopointtwo · Answer

bc they only want younger women. i think u can guess why.

Tempest_Flame · Answer

because those ages are the best and youngest. women your age are bitter, angry, jealous, full of exes and history and baggage

Anonymous · Answer

just because they want someone 18-24, it does not mean girls this age want them back. Just the same way old fat women still want hot tall handsome men

Pohjolan · Answer

You are projecting. For starters what have  you  done to attract the men you wanted to date?

Twalli · Answer

Maybe because at 34, the window is closing. Also, after 30, the likelihood of birth defects is significantly higher.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s called natural selection and it’s far more powerful than any social construct coping mechanism

Anonymous · Answer

Easy: to point out they aren't quality men. Bright flags showing who to avoid.

Caughtulookin · Answer

I dont think many men 50 plus want children.

renodnol32 · Answer

Im one of those that are wishing to pursue the latter.

Anonymous · Answer

when you say never got to date, you say you never had a relationship?

noohair · Answer

This is the caveman brain.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

The younger broads are HOTTER !!!

Gaylordslav · Answer

Women like older guys , guys like youthful women.

wkhan_87 · Answer

Your analysis is not very true

Anonymous · Answer

😆😆😆 you cannot be serious.🤦‍♂️

Anonymous · Answer

Modern people are weird I guess.

Anonymous · Answer

Most women expire after 30

someone4567 · Answer

Men will be men 💪

Why do men 18-39-50+ so hotly pursue women 18-24-28 for relationships and marriage, and ignore the rest of us looking to marry and have children?

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Why do men 18-39-50+ so hotly pursue women 18-24-28 for relationships and marriage, and ignore the rest of us looking to marry and have children?

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