Search Results: hear breaker, break up

My boyfriend of 3 years dumped me last week and doesn't want to hear from me.

I feel terrible because I'm the one that once brought up the topic of my two deal-breakers long ago on the very first day we became girlfriend and boyfriend. I'm not demanding but told him if he ever cheated (whether it's physical or emotional) or any physical contact done in anger (spitting included) it would result in an immediate break-up and if he came back knocking on my door to apologize, I would close the door in his face. He reassured me it wouldn't happen. Never had that happened to me but just wanted to make sure because my aunt, my older sister and a couple female friends went through that.

Forward to Saturday of last week: I didn't cheat but broke the other rule when I was completely drunk (much more than he was), we started arguing and next thing I did is slapped him hard and started pushing him. Then I realized what I was doing (honestly I was shocked at my self at the moment) and as I tried to apologized, he said it was over and started leaving.

I've only called him twice and on the 2nd time, he did brough up what I've told him long ago and not to call again or else he's going to block my number. I'm leaving him alone. I totally screwed up big time.

But if any one of you have different opinions, you may feel free to comment. Guys (well girls can comment too) would this be over to you too? I have gotten drunk on a couple special occasions but never turned into a bad drunk and never hit anyone in my life. I'm still shocked myself. I feel disgusted.

So, I'm determined to get an answer to this; if only for just myself.

Below, I've compiled a list of the 5 things that seem to be more or less common among the guys I've spoke with. And no, I didn't ask them directly. This was all obtained indirectly so that I could get the most honest & objective information possible.

1. Sex. And no, I don't just mean when all you're looking to do is get laid and that's not what she's looking for. I mean, you really do have feelings for this girl, and you really do like her, but her attitude towards sex is either too "inhibited", too "fairy-tale-esque" or just too "stupid" for you to bear with or deal with. Or maybe it gets to the point where you start to feel afraid that she might simply not be sexually interested in you, and that she's just playing you and using you? Or that her sex drive is really low or none, and that you think "sexless marriage" down the road? (I can appreciate any legit reasons; so just please nothing stupid like "I want to just get laid & she doesn't so she sucks")

2. Money. Okay, I'm not that old, so I guess I mean guys around my age-range. I'm not really talking about issues like getting her a 4th car or naming your 2nd boat after her. I'm also not talking about divorce, child-support or alimony. Just really basic stuff. Like after dating for a while, you feel that you're putting in more than your fair share, and you feel it's unfair, unjustified, taken advantage of, used, or otherwise not good. (I mean, more than just 51% of you paying most of the time; more like 60% or 75%; heck, even 100% you) Does it get to the point where enough is enough and so you feel it's her attitude towards men & relationships in general; so you break it off?

3. Personality. More specifically, not a "lack of" something you're looking for, but an abundance of something you're not looking for nor would ever want in someone you're going to have a relationship with? (Can you please be specific? Like, an example? And what you didn't like, or why?)

4. Lifestyle. Personality is separate. Have you ever lost interest or broke up because the girl lacked ambition? I've heard a couple of guys say with a negative tone that they didn't like being with a girl that wanted the guy to work, and for her to just sit at home and go shopping or "take care of the house & kids". But then, there are guys who want exactly that. So I'm just confused.

5. Appearances. This one blows my mind away, but I've heard it quite often. I guess, somehow, you're "initially" attracted to a girl, but after dating her, you're somehow "no longer" attracted to her appearance? (1) How the hell does that work? (2) What happens? Is it the girl? Is it you? Is it someone else? Why?

(Just the BIGGEST reason for "you". Feel free to comment on other ones, but I'm more curious about which one is the biggest deal breaker for you.)