No Text! No call! No show! What happened? Why most relationships fizzle out!


No, text, No call, No show!
So what happened?

No Text! No call! No show! What happened? Why most relationships fizzle out!

You met on a Saturday night, you had the perfect date, she held your hand, and at the end of the night, she kissed you. Then she texted your phone constantly.

“Missing you.”
No Text! No call! No show! What happened? Why most relationships fizzle out!

Emoji here, selfie photos there, it never crossed your mind that, she would ever for get about you. You might even go from second base, to third base, and then suddenly you got a home run. Candles are lit, music is playing, and your two souls intertwined into one, and in the morning when you wake up, she is still there. You are in a relationship now, and three months have passed. You’re relaxed now, and become more of who you really are. You don’t think twice about farting in front of your baby. For women, you don’t even dress up anymore, and make-up is sparingly now. You two become less agreeable and more verbal. Plans for the future arise, and family comes into the picture, yikes! Everything is going well, so you thought, then something happened….

“Hey beautiful; what you doing?”

You text her this message because you hadn’t heard from her in a few hours. Ten minutes have passed and you hadn’t heard anything still. An hour has passed and you are freaking out now. You call, and she finally answers the phone giving you the following excuses:

“I was busy silly.”
“I got a lot on my mind.”
“Why are you tripping?”

The five stages of Dropped Interest Levels!

Rather you are a man or a woman reading my (Take) you should know that there are approximately interest level drops that one goes through before actually dumping someone.
Stage 1. The compliments and the laughing at your corny jokes, is gone! Now her interest level is plummeting from the high 90% to the lower 60%.
Stage 2. The cute hand holding and arm grabbing is gone, no kissing is initiated. IL is at a whopping 60-56%
Stage 3. She is starting arguments and throwing zingers at you which starts off small but intensifies as IL drops to 55-48%.
Stage 4. She is with you, she might even still say she loves you. She might even make love to you occasionally, but she is pretty much done with you. The way you touched her to get her in the mood, doesn’t work anymore, she is buying time. IL is now at a -48%.
Stage 5. The final argument, in front of friends, out of the blue, a small thing which becomes a huge deal, now haunts you, and she says the following:

“I just need time to figure things out”
“I don’t know what I want, right now I’m so confused.”
“I need space.”
“It’s not you, It’s me.”
“I feel obligated to you and I don’t want to be tied down right now, right now is bad for me.”

No Text! No call! No show! What happened? Why most relationships fizzle out!

Anybody speak Womanese? I learned, and I learned fast… allow me to interpret. Regard me, regard me! What she is saying is, “Please get your stuff out of my apartment so I can change the locks, and date your co-worker!”

Your gut is telling you, think she is with another man, because you hadn’t seen her in a few days, or she doesn’t call you like she normally does. You get images in your head of some dude screwing her brains out, and you’re freaking out. Then finally after your worrying, begging, and pleading; she gets tired and says,” Let’s call the whole thing off.”

So what happened?

There could be a lot of reasons why he/she had lost interest in you. However for the purpose of this article, I will address a major problem in dating that will summarize in part as to what happen. Let’s first shed ourselves of our ego, and investigate these series of unfortunate events optimistically.
The first issue I found is that many of us do not know how to slow it down. Most of us tend to rush and not let the relationship happen organically. Organic is good for you! Again, I have no ego, that’s why I confess this was as much my problem as it is yours.

Moving too fast!

Many of my relationships, like yours in the past started out flaming-hot, then fizzled away into an ember withering away in the cold night. I realized that possibly saying, “I love you,” and moving in together in three months, is too much, too soon. Studies indicate that the average couple starting out dating should wait at least 3 months before sex. However, most couples who actually get into a relationship start having sex with in 1-2 weeks of there dating period. Stalling on sex not only builds interest level, but it actually helps with not feeling obligated to commit to a relationship before your actually ready. This allows individuals to base the relationship not on the physical. For example lust. Waiting for sex is hard, I know, because I want it, but waiting does help with finding true companionship through healthy conversation. Now if you just want sex then by all means have it, if that’s what you do. However, just making a girl wait, makes her want it more.
3-6 months into dating it is suggested you can now make it official, and consider introducing the physical-intimate side of the relationship. Conversely, this could also be the time you’d make the decision to move on and desolve any relationship you had with said person. If this happens no real feeling should have been sacrificed because you didn’t start off head over heels, but you just dated to see if you were compatible to start a serious relationship.
6-8 months you can think about your first vacation, and meeting ones family
8-12 months you should have a good grasp of the relationship and thoughts of engagement, and moving together can be discussed.

Keep in mind (Psyc Majors) that this this time table is suggestive, dating experts will give a model to help us slow down, in hopes that we won't lead ourselves into a false sense of feelings. I feel we have gotten into this fast- food type of dating, that we rush things and get disappointed even quicker. What happened to courting? Most people I know including myself thought I was in love after a month of dating. I went out with this girl three times, and we were in love. How? We barley know each other?
The first three months with my girlfriend she had more red flags, than a nuclear power plant. I just overlooked them because she looked like Salma Hayeck. I rationalized her behavior because she was BBC (Beauty, Brains and Curves). I was in lust and so my behavior dictated that, and so did hers. I became too involved, made myself too available, and bared my heart too fast. Eventually, she began to see things she really didn’t like about me, and for her these things were deal breakers. No matter how big or small these deal breakers were, she could know longer rationalize them and her interest level plummeted.
Again this (Take) could also apply to women, as men do get turned off as well. However, I address men, because statistics show that 90% of the break ups are female generated.

My advice for men who have been through this, and will go through this in the future, is to know break ups will happen, and it is a part of life. There is no need to be mean to her, or blame you for the messy break up. However if you do, this is just apart of the stages of grief your experiencing which I will touch on at a later time. As a man or woman, it is your job to get back on your feet and arm yourself with knowledge. Make dating fun by understanding the minutia of it all. I have seen comments by some people who say, “It’s all about communication, not the practice of dating,” “It’s about luck, and finding someone with the same interest.” All good points, and I don’t dispute none, but I do say that dating is all of those put into one, with one true factor, slowing it down too enjoy the process and weighing the options clearly! My Uncle Lacey used to say, “Boy, speed kills!” My aunt Lilly used to say, “Boy, you eat too fast, you might choke.”
If one would just slow down and not rush things, date multiple people, say possibly three suitors, without feeling rushed into having sex, or making a commitment right away, there might be a lower percentage of divorce rates and broken hearts world wide.

Final Words

There are people who get lucky, and find the one, first time around. My brother was one of them. After three months he and his chick moved in together, and after a year they married, and they have two beautiful children. However, not all of us are that fortunate, and it is only a small percentage of us, who actually gets that prestigious honor. So, for the rest of us mere mortals, taking our time, and actually getting to know a person before buying into the love and eternity thing, might not be so bad after all.

No Text! No call! No show! What happened? Why most relationships fizzle out!
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Girl

  • mutedaisy
    I went through all of those disinterested stages with my current boyfriend and had even moved on to a new guy. We had broken up and I was still trying to get back together with him. At a certain point, he started to come around, but by then I was at stage 4. I never got to stage 5, because I like to keep my business to myself. When he had asked me to be his girlfriend again, I told him, "I don't want to date anyone at this point in my life and would rather focus on myself". We are dating again though... :P We've known each other for 8 months now and are moving in together in two months :) We've found the apartment and everything. Our parents are well acquainted too. I hope I get to stay with him for a long time ^^
    Is this still revelant?
    • Wisenguber

      Interesting, concept, your interested level dropped, but it rose again, how? Are you certain your interest level dropped, or did he play it cool, and did the right things for you to like him again? Great story by the way, thanxs for your comments.

    • mutedaisy

      My interest levels did drop when I was dating the other guy. I wanted to just remain friends with him. I think my interest levels were able to rise again, only after the guy I was dating wanted me to cut all communication with my ex. I couldn't do that, because he still came to me and showed me he cared. I can't be cold to him, even if I just wanted to be friends. After a bit I let him date me again. We hand to rekindle things, but it had been nice. Hope this makes sense!

    • LuvAsh

      This has nothing to do with anything but Omg u look so much like someone I use to know in middle school!!

Most Helpful Guy

  • alphadoggystyle
    "statistics show that 90% of the break ups are female generated." This is crazy but not really surprising. It seems to me that most women dont know what they want and they need drama or something else to keep them interested. Until they get old enough when they get more desperate. And its scary to me that such small things can be dealbreakers if there was enough attraction there from the beginning to build a relationship that lasted 3 months. i wish women where able to overlook as many flaws as men often can.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Wisenguber

      I agree and some women do, but the thing is somebody is settling for someone else. There are times when you find that person that don't care about your character flaws who will stay with you. However, you have to keep them interested with not crowding them too fast. I just touched on a few things. Like one can gain weight and become a drug addict. Some women move too fast as well and find out there dude like little girls. for the most part, relationships fail because we rush, because its not just women who do break up, but yes women are the primary ones breaking the hearts. I'm sure women would say the reason they do it is because men rush!!! Too clingy!!! and just all out pigs!!! Thanks for reading brother and I look forward to your opinions and questions.

    • Yeah, i had an experience where the girl and i connected really well on the phone after matching on a dating app. We opened up and know so much personal stuff about each other, and had phone sex. She sounded like she had a genuine crush on me, she always looked forward to talking to me and texting me etc. But she was nervous and didn't know how it would go when we meet. I didn't really understand her nervousness because i knew what i wanted and she was aware i was interested in something serious, while she wasn't sure and talked about it maybe ending in disaster etc, i realize now she wasn't ready for a relationship and wanted to hook up, but since we connected so well she hoped she would be ready for something more. Then the date goes well, i cook for her she liked the food we chat for a bit and it goes well. Then we go up and watch a movie she requested. We immediately have sex, and it was good, she got really wet.

    • But after having sex, she became backdrawn and shy in her body language. And avoided eye contact with me. And she spoke very quietly and we just had some small talk before going to sleep. then in the morning she tells me she isn't ready and she looked sad. I just said, do what is best for you since i had told her before i had no expectations. She asked: but what about you? in a caring way. i told her i would handle it. She said she felt like crying, and put her face in the bed sheet. I didn't understand why she felt so bad because i assumed we could keep seeing each other but i knew there was a risk of her ditching me. So i did a stupid mistake of giving her a small gift afterwards. i presented it as a joke and that she could think of me when she looks at it. It was just a cheap but pretty mineral stone i bought abroads. I said i was messing with her and that she could put it wherever. That was the last 5 minutes before she left.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • dipta
    Usually the faster it starts, the faster it ends. That's how it seems to be.
    You find yourself in a relationship with someone you don't really know, so can't act surprised later on.
  • FBorDie
    Just by the comments I can gladly say every situation is unique, so throw everything said here out of the window and use your best judgement.
    • Wisenguber

      C'mon not everything, you can never go wrong with taking your time, that what its all about, taking it easy and enjoying it... like your food dude, just chew, and savor, you will enjoy it better!!! Thanxs for your comments anyways

  • JohnAlaska43
    Well I dont know about the whole il thing my only relationship was 15 years of hell. my ex wife cheated on me throough the relationship.
    I was faithful she wasn't. I think in the end if your losing il maybe you just gave up and its not the others fault. Mind you men can be dopes in relstionships because we dont understand women fully.
  • msinvisible1
    Oh my been there. #5. I just feel lately men are not interested in anything serious do to so many people liking the hook up get what you want no commitment lifestyle so many people have adopted. All i can say is being on the receiving end is that not having any real answers or warnings to why the other person changed or lost interest is the worst.
    • Wisenguber

      Its strange, I learned that women do tend to have varying interest levels... like is it true, a woman may date a guy she is not really interested in, to see if she might be, or because she is bored? Thanxs for you comments!!

    • I have dated guys to see if I could be interested. After dealing with numerous men who fizzle out on me without warning or those who have broke my heart. I figure give something new a try. Sometime it can be a refreshing change.

    • Wisenguber

      Hum... food for thought 😉

  • miserybusiness
    She is starting arguments and throwing zingers at you which starts off small but intensifies as IL drops to 55-48%.

    I choked on my laugh because of the irony
    I've been frequently scolding the shiznit out of this one guy, and yet it's not because my IL is decreasing... but because it's increasing. LOLLL.
    • Wisenguber

      Interesting please, explain more... in the since of a preexisting relationship that has lasted beyond a month, typically this does happen women are tired of the crap and now doesn't have a filter... however I am very interested in your story please if you don't mind... oh and at least I made you laugh, something good came out of it😁

  • youknowitt
    This was sooo great, you could write a book. The acronyms/hook was hilarious. "LOL"
    • Wisenguber

      Ah.. blushing here, I'm actually working on a novel, now... thanxs for the kind words

    • youknowitt

      ;-) this was very interesting to read, and i barely read myTakes, & no problem !

  • abundantlyrich
    people invest too much technology to keep communication going. How about a phone call?
  • mercury31274
    I stopped reading at "for get".
    • Wisenguber

      awe somebody can actually catch a mistake for me, thank you! Now if I can just get over the fact you won't read my little Take I can get my life back...

  • LuvAsh
    Nice Mytake
  • legalboxers
    lack of communication
  • Anonymous
    Interesting fun read
  • Anonymous
    This is the best take i have read yet, and there has been dome good ones. I was so captivated, so well put thought out and put together. You had me laughing so much too. I salute you for this!
    By the way, if anyone is interesed i give Womanese lessons every Monday at 7 pm, dot com me if interesed. Free of charge too
    • Anonymous

      Oh my goodness i need spelling lessons
      * interested*
      * some*

    • Wisenguber

      Ah, thanxs, very nice of you to say.

  • Anonymous
    I'm in a new relationship and the guy I'm seeing has already asked me for sex 2 times after a week of dating. I'm so happy I said no. We do cuddle and do oral sex but I really want us to last so I hope holding off on vaginal sex helps us. I definitely won't be saying "I love you." anytime soon either.
    • Wisenguber

      Good, savor the flavor, take your time and enjoy, nothing wrong with that... good luck and thanxs for reading.

    • 2 weeks and already oral sex... This is one reason i refuse to date. People put too much onto sex too fast. Slow down date the person a month. Heck what happens if your gone for 2 weeks and they cheat because your not there..