Search Results: talk about your past

I’m in a LDR, that my partner and I have this schedule when we chat with each other. Due to different time zones. But this week has been feeling different/off. Which makes me worry.

Just yesterday I could not get ahold of boyfriend at all. Hours were passing by and he didn’t say “good morning” or nothing. That my thoughts and insecurities were setting in and I was imagining the worst. (Since I have been ghosted in the past from dating apps.) Then he reached out to me reassured me that he was very busy. But my mind kept wondering “why couldn’t he just write to me, that he was going to have a busy day today?”

So here is the next day again, and still no ‘good mornings’ and selfie’s. I called him and he didn’t answer. Then he called me back explaining that he was eating. Which left me confused since we have had talked to each other while he was eating. Why is he getting bothered to be disturbed while eating all of a sudden (especially from me?)

Then I began asking him questions:
“Are you busy?”
“Do you want me to leave you alone?”
“Am I smothering you?”
“Is there someone else?”
“Do you want to hang out with your friends more?”

And all questions he replied with

“No”
“No”
“Sigh, No”
“No only you love”


What should I do?

my boyfriend and I have argued in the past over him not defending me against his family being racist, rude, or body shaming me. They’ve made racist jokes, made fun of my body, always say my name wrong, talk about other girls or his ex, and address me by talking to him (hey, Bf’s name, did OP eat before coming?”) or something along those lines as I stand RIGHT by him. I’ve made every effort with them to talk and be nice.
last time he didn’t defend me against a racist joke, he apologized and comforted me after like always but I told him that was the last chance he had.
Today his friend who I’m friends with but not nearly as closely as he is ‘jokingly’ called me flat and said I’m built like a board. He is usually pretty sarcastic and it’s hard to tell when he means it or not. After a few seconds where I didn’t laugh he said “sorry just kidding!!” And I didn’t say anything cause I’m at his/my bf’s house with my boyfriend and I didn’t know if I’d be overreacting. I’ve had many bad experiences of being bodyshamed and made fun of for being skinny and it’s really gotten to me over time. I expected my boyfriend to at least step in and say something guiding— not even outright confrontational— but something like “too far man”, But he didn’t. He just made a sad face at me and went back to scrolling on his phone.
I can’t tell if he just didn’t want to make things awkward for me, if he thought it wasn’t a big deal, or if he once again decided his security was more important than defending me. he definitely heard it happen.
so my questions are-
1: would you have said something if you were him? (I know I should’ve, I was just uncomfortable with it being his+bf’s apartment that I am staying at for tonight).
2: is this a big enough breach to warrant me upholding my “that was your last chance”?
im planning on talking about it with my boyfriend tomorrow no matter what but he fell asleep for now and his roommate is still up so I can’t talk about It with him at this time