Search Results: guy friends influence

I do believe in good things that people do and ways about people that aren't bad, but when it comes to judging someone as good or bad, are any of us honestly good? I'll try to explain as best I can, but take an unrepentant rapist and a guy who remorselessly cheated on his ex...

Compared to the rapist, you may not think the cheater's a bad person; but compared to a guy who doesn't cheat on his girlfriend, you may think he *is* a bad person...

But considering that there's at least one thing undesirable about everyone, say the non-cheater's two-faced toward some people by acting like he's their friend when he's anything but to them: compared to someone who doesn't act two-faced, might you say that he's an (maybe not bad) unlikable person? But if he acts two-faced toward people who are socially inept and enjoy his company, you may more likely think he's a bad person.

There's also the drug dealer and drug buyer scenario: compared to someone who's not selling the drugs, you may not think the buyer's a bad person and a victim, if anything; but compared to someone who doesn't pay to support a drug dealer, (s) he *is* a bad person. For that matter, you may also think someone who's texting while driving or driving under the influence may not be a bad person compared to the drug dealer; but compared to someone who chooses to focus on driving rather than doing something to endanger him/herself and anyone else, is *(s) he* a bad person?

Basically, if I start drawing a moral line for who I associate with, wouldn't everyone be a bad person in one way or another?

I know there will probably be a lot of dudes agreeing with me and a lot of women disagreeing, mainly due to bias. And i know there are always exceptions to the rule, this perception just seems to be true in general, for the majority of people living in the west.

Social media to a large degree decides or influences what we consider beautiful/attractive, but I've noticed that this effect seems to influence women to a much larger degree than men. It seems women are more about groupthinking and they more easily let themselves be influenced by the opinion of others, like friends or what they see on TV. Men are more independant and because of that are less influenced by what the media tells them is beautiful. Its like many people say, men like what they like, but women like what they are told to like (told by someone with authority or influence).

So negative stereotypes in TV will rarely affect a womans dating options, if a guy finds her physically attractive, most of the time will go after her regardless of race. But on the other side of the coin, if a woman finds a guy of a different race physically attractive, she might often reject him or ignore him regardless if that race has a negative stigma or is considered low status by media (women care more about status of their partners than men do).

I even think opinions of others can even go so far to sub-consciously alter what a woman finds attractive, because of how they are designed as the more social gender, and to find the ideal man the opinion of others was valued during our evolution as a species.

I think this quite easily explains why asian/indian women are considered very attractive, while their male counterparts are considered low value or undesirable by so many women, even by those who often has very little experience with them.

Do you agree or not? and please offer an alternative explanation if you disagree.

My best friend, "Emily" has been with our mutual (close) friend, "Mark" for 3 years. Mark is a saint: Emily has aspergers, a personality disorder, and a 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship, so suffice it to say, being with Emily is hard, but Mark is an amazing influence and he is probably the best thing that has ever happened to Emily and her daughter. Mark is completely supportive of Emily and has been helping put her through community college after her abusive family cut her off financially (which means Mark had to take on 2 jobs on top of school work) and he's been like a father to her 4 year old.

Mark adores Emily, which is incredible she's NOT conventionally attractive (obese) and until recently I thought she adored him too (which is how she acts when he's around, in her own way). But, she's been talking about this guy from school, "John", in front of me and Mark for a few months, joking about how everyone thinks that they're dating and how preposterous that is.

Yesterday, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and saw Emily engaged in oral sex with John, while Mark was at home taking care of Emily's daughter. Worse still, Emily gave Mark the excuse that she needed to go to the party with me (without her daughter) because I've been having a hard time lately, so I feel responsible for what happened even though I had no idea that John was going to be at the party or what was going on.

Emily is ruining the best chance she has of giving herself and her daughter a happy and normal life. Mark is such a great guy that I feel morally obligated to tell him what I saw, but at the same time I feel that I need to protect Emily and her daughter (ESPECIALLY her daughter, who thinks of Mark as her dad). What should I do? Is it too late to make Emily see that she is making a big mistake?

TL; DR: caught my best friend cheating on her fiancé who has been raising her daughter and putting her through college (and is also my friend). What do I do?