"To every guy who tries to say that we have already achieved equality for the sexes, if this were true, you wouldn't be told to "man up", "be a man", "stop being a p*#%y", "harden the fuck up", "toughen up", "boys don't cry", "don't be such a girl", "stop being a wimp". As long as this type of language still exists in our society, then gender equality, my friends, has in fact not been achieved after all."- Miya Yamanouichi
Disclaimer: This will be a somewhat lengthy MyTake. I especially don't write this out of a sense of entitlement, being a guy, after all. I write this Take in context to my other Take
What follows is what I feel is wrong with men today and somewhat has been for a long time coming. So sit back, read and enjoy.
There are two circumstances that lead to arrogance: one is when you're wrong and you can't face it; the other is when you're right and nobody else can face it.
I think men were great once upon a time. Unlike today, they shared a sense of true brotherhood, respected their women, and desired that the next generation exceed their own. But suddenly they had the feeling that being right was everything, and so they stopped listening to others and started listening to themselves. And became so obsessed with themselves and their views, they just shut others off. And became too isolated to really learn anything truly. With this loss of humility and mutual respect, everything became harder to do. To learn, to coexist, even admit they were wrong to the ones they love. And hence men were labeled stupid and simple minded by their fairer companions.
Obviously this has gotten worse through the ages. And now we have this.
On a serious note, I think a man's ego is his biggest problem by far. Some people mistake this with confidence, some with pride, some think its 'swag'. But I think its the true measure what man is truly capable of. But today we tightly embrace it as a means of self identity or individuality.
Time and time again does the pride of man influence his very own fall. While denying it, one gradually starts to believe that he is the authority, or that he possesses great moral dominion over others, yet it is spiritually unwarranted. By that point he loses steam; in result, he falsely begins trying to prove that unwarranted dominion by seizing the role of a condemner. This is not to say that women don't have ego, they do. But I think they're more tame than men.
This is the basis of all the other things I list out from here on out.
2) Traditional Double Standards.
This holds true that while women have more sexist double standards, men have traditional double standards. What is it? It is the ancient prejudices that men still entertain against women for a long, long time.
Do you really believe ... that everything historians tell us about men – or about women – is actually true? You ought to consider the fact that these histories have been written by men, who never tell the truth except by accident. The bitter truth is that most of the masses following are lead by men. Jesus Christ for Christianity, Prophet Mohammed for Islam, the two major religions in the world today. I don't think think the original intentions were to debase women, but through the flow of time, as faith was led by men who claimed to be men of god and were hence absolutely righteous have bent and twisted ideals and equality to actually enslave women.
Throughout the dark ages, middles ages and until the advent of modernization, the gradual development of women's rights and freedom was very slow, retarded even. I mean women could officialy only vote first in 1718 in Sweden and only in 1920 in the United States. Not even a century ago. Whereas men could vote way back dating to Ancient Greece, which birthed the first republic. It took millennia for women to vote and this is just how ridiculous the double standards were. And its just an example of the numerous double standards out there.
The only women who couldn't be completely touched by double standards were the rich or upper class women. Being in a position of power these women were practically untouchable. Then too. A majority of women had never got equal rights and more often than not even fundamental freedom.
Another example? Why was Polygamy only restricted to men? In some parts of the world, its still legal. These are the double standards that boggle my mind.
3) The MRA (Men's Right Activists)
Wait? What? I thought it was some WWE Tag Team Stable. Well...
Most MRA are people who join because of failed marriages or particularly misogynists, people who outright hate women.
Now to be fair, the MRA started out as a backlash to Feminism. And to an extent, its was valid. Seeing as how divorce skyrocketed during the peak of feminism.
That wave during the 70s and the 80s did cause a reason to panic. When Feminism was becoming more of a fashion statement than an ideal, which was how Feminism started declining in the first place.
But today as feminism has declined. Are MRAs really required? I mean this is still a patriarchal society. Has Feminism really changed the top order of society? Its my firm belief that the most capable should lead. Be it a man or a woman.
But some of the issues of Men's Right Activists are quite unreasonable. Things such as education measures for boys, owing to the better academic success of girls in general. Or the governments structured around men and boys. A radical notion to derail the women rights movement.
But like feminism's decay, there is no need for MRAs if we are to have a true Egalitarian society.
4) Pseudo Machismo
Now Macho or Machismo is a widely misused and misunderstood word. What it really means is
"a man’s responsibility to provide for, protect, and defend his family."
But what it has become, in the words of Celia Falicov, PhD, author of Latino Families in Therapy,
“the better man is the one who can drink the most, sire the most sons, defend himself the most, dominate his wife, and command the absolute respect of his children. It is also part of the configuration to have strong sexual drives and seek variety in sexual relationships, while being possessive and jealous toward the faithful wife.”
This isn't purely restricted to Latino ethnicity, this exists universally. Don't tell me you don't know any men like these. They're a minority, yes. But there's still many of them and I feel like its a growing culture in nations where women are still repressed. This is what leads to domestic violence in the first place.
Domestic abuse of men on women is widespread, all around the world. On the basis of physical strength alone, a man is capable of crushing a weaker woman physically, mentally and emotionally. To beat a person into submission is amongst the cruelest things to do a person. It can leave them scarred for life. Men are supposed to be assertive not aggressive.
While insecurity is somewhat a common trait among both sexes. It is more pronounced in men. An Insecure man is the biggest potential threat out there because he allows himself to be manipulated to do anything by a strong willed person.
Low self esteem, lack of self confidence and general disbelief in self causes a man to freefall to the bottom of the barrel. As you lose self identity, you're desperate to seek validation. Or you adopt an aggressive stance to show strength. If ego is the beginning of a circle then insecurity is what ego becomes when it makes a full round.
Insecurity makes a man do foolish things, like making his woman feel inferior to make him feel better about himself, severe insecurity even drives men to be obscure to reason. Obsessive cases often have fatal consequences. A crime of passion is not uncommon.
A man feels insecure when he feels his partner better than he is or if he doesn't feel he deserves them.
This is just insecurity about your partner. There are numerous other places in life that we feel we aren't worthy or we aren't just ready for something. And this causes quitting more than anything else or even giving up before trying. And that's something I can never accept. Of all the people I feel like I hate the quitters the most.