Search Results: getting a guy to open up

I've been trying to be friends with this guy for a year now. He's a friend of 2 close friends of mine who are a couple and we always have dinner the four of us. When we met, he was going through a very hard break up (it was recent and she had even threatened to kill herself) hence he goes to therapy.

A year later, he's much more relaxed and open. But what has always bothered me is that he doesn't seem to want to develop a friendship: he doesn't want to hang out (neither in a group nor alone unless a close friend of his will be there). Now, I have to respect this, even though I don't understand why this is.

Sometimes I think he doesn't give a crap about me but when I invite him to important events in my life he shows up without hesitation, and he invites me to be a part of important events in his life as well. He even replies long , important texts with long texts. And whenever we see each other, he'll ask about things I told him the last time we saw each other. I mean, any other guy wouldn't do this if he genuinely didn't care. He even organizes for us 4 to hang out, so, again, a person's niceness can only go so far, meaning I don't think he's just being nice.

I don't think I've ever given him a wrong impression because I've asked him to tag along in group settings 95% of the time. So, I just don't think it's related to him 'thinking I like him so he distances himself'.

I seriously don't know what to do. We're clearly not on the same page. I'm interested in getting to know him as a person, but he puts up this barrier. I don't want to look like the 'clingy' one. I don't want to invest time nor feelings if it's going to be for nothing. If I talk through with him it'd have to be over text, which I don't want to cause I hate talking these things through text. And I just can't wait any longer cause next time we get to be 5 minutes alone could be I don't know months from now.
Should I throw the towel or wait and talk it out?

It’s all well and good to say communicate and be open, wren dating or IN a relationship...

what do people do when its early on and they sense there could Be comparability problems on major things that are too soon to talk if. day to day, they get along just fine so breaking it off Would be premature?

in your opinion, how soon is too soon to ask and tell about sexual and general relationship and dynamic preferences?

let’s say you both really like each other , are not seeing other people but are taking it slow and spending time together before dating.. asking Questions can seem” odd”

Ironically, I do think the tendency to not want to jump to dating -when it isn’t Bc you want to keep options open- is often precisely Bc it is not encouraged to say and ask what you want early on. There is such a stigma attached to communicating “ too soon” as if it indicates you are rushing it going to turn out to be psycho.

I think even people should want to communicate still get influenced negatively into thinking there is Something wring if the other other persons is too direct too soon.
and yes I know there are those gens who are straight shooters themselves and wen one questions and info from their interest..

but I find it isn’t too common irl. More commonly I think people think they will be ok wyth when they talk about talking about stuff, but not when it comes up in practice.

so you have been casually hanging out a few months
haven’t been on a date.
not sure you want to Bc there is stuff you dk
Why to start getting attached
BUT bringing stuff up too soon it can give the the wrong idea
scare them away
IF it could’ve worked out, you lost your chance 🤷‍♀️🤔

I realize this in an extreme case, and who waits such a scaredy cat in theory... I’m asking Bc I do think its a common problem & fear in reality.

there seems to be no end of advice ( good or bad 😛) on how to
attract
ask out
impress
get sex
Communicating- once together