Search Results: choosing between my friend and my ex

I wouldn’t snoop through my boyfriend’s phone without his permission. But I honestly feel like I can’t believe what he says because he’s lied to me and broke my trust. He’s recently started talking to a girl he slept with while were on a break, she doesn’t even qualify as an ex. He never wanted to date her and he made that clear. Yet she wanted a relationship with him and was very childish when she found out we were getting back together. I don’t mind if they’re just civil friends, but it does make me uncomfortable to think of them being too close and I don’t believe that’s just jealousy and insecurity talking. I believe if he’s in a committed relationship with me, there should be boundaries between them.

I asked him some time ago if they were talking again, and he lied to me. Then a week later I brought it up saying how uncomfortable it made me felt, and that’s when he decided to tell me. I was hurt. I have been cheated on before, and my ex used text to cheat. So I do have trust issues, but at the same time my current boyfriend is displaying the same behavior my ex did when he started cheating on me and I just can’t ignore it.

I asked if he could show me the texts to clarify there’s nothing going on, and he told me it was an invasion of privacy. But he broke my trust and our relationship is on the fence now. So he told me he’d think about it. I’m so confused, if he has nothing to hide then why would he not want to just show me and things could get back on track. But if he chooses to keep hiding things from me then obviously this relationship isn’t going anywhere.

So is it really controlling of me to ask for the texts? If so, what are some other options for us to work through this?

If you were torn between two girls, who would you choose.

Girl A: Makes you laugh, you get on well with her, are close friends, have a strong sexual chemistry, can confide in her about your problems, feel comfortable around her, have feelings for her, can both be honest and open with each other and things are just flows between you and it's easy.

Girl B: Is your ex who you was with for around a year and a half, you broke it off because you thought you was with her for the wrong reasons & she didn't trust you & was becoming needy. You came to realise though you still love her and trying to work things out, however, you keep arguing over pointless things, and the conversations feel forced & you don't really talk. And don't feel very happy with how things are. She also isn't able to give you things you need such as attention, sexual needs and being there for you when you need it.