Search Results: love and relationship addiction

I'm not really sad anymore about the breakup, i reflect on the relationship and i can see some things that i didn't see when i was with him. I've wrote thank you and forgiving letters to myself about what he did. I've done a lot of grieving and self work on myself and learned a lot. We were only together for half a year. The breakup in a way was blindsided because i thought we could work on it but at the end he was an asshole. he asked me a question before if we were to take a break and told me were not taking a break or breaking up just to break up with me a few days later. I've come to notice talking to someone else and potentially having a relationship my walls are up and emotions are like frozen. I get excited about the new guy but then its like back to feeling nothing sometimes.

In the beginning he told me he wants to be there for me and be apart of my mess and we will get through anything just to have him breakup with me. Not work on something which ultimately would have more issues down the road so its good we broke up but i thought we could work on it if we really "loved each other". Addiction got the best of him and blindsided me in a way.

I’ve been with this guy for around 5 months and officially together for almost 3. I thought we had a great relationship and he clearly loves and adores me and does everything he can to provide and protect me, however one particular issue had come up twice. We spoke extensively about our sexual pasts because we believe we have a right to know what kind of person we’re getting into relations with, and there was a story he told me which didn’t add up. He got annoyed at me and attempted to gaslight me and make me feel crazy when I expressed my suspicions but it ended up coming out that he was telling me lies because he slipped up in his story.

I take gaslighting very seriously and was going to dump him, so I moved out for a few days. He extensively apologised and promised to be truthful and I decided to forgive him despite this red flag. I asked him a few times if there is anything else in his past that he thinks he should tell me and he strongly said no. A month after this whole incident I decided to go through his laptop which he is usually extremely protective over and I found a bunch of bookmarks of escorts near our area and their websites and various chat rooms.

This is very worrying to me because I am aware that he had an addiction to escorts and porn in the past but he gave me the impression this was long over. It is also highly possible that he could be cheating on me. I also feel betrayed because I specifically asked him if he had been meeting escorts recently when we first started seeing each other and he denied it. To me these findings mean he is either a cheater or a liar. He is at work right now and doesn’t know I have seen all of this but I am wondering if I should dump him tonight or not?

I’m 32 he’s 20. I had met him because he is a family member of someone I was dating 3 years ago and we just clicked immediately. About a year ago he had to leave his moms house and I let him come stay with me over the course of this time he developed a drug addiction which ended up with me taking care of him. We sleep in the same bed together and are very close as far as friendship goes. I never thought of him in a romantic way because of our age difference but while he was away at rehab I realized I have more then just friendship feelings for him. We have both dated other people over the course of this past year and are open with each other about everything. We tell each other we love each other and he has told me (while sober) that he loves me more then any other female but has never shown me he wants a relationship with me. I want to tell him my feelings for him but I’m scared it will ruin the friendship that we have if he doesn’t feel the same.