Search Results: taking control

Well, it's happening, I'm going to do it

I've been suffering symptoms of Schizophrenia and Depression for years now. I think I'm going through my active phase. Lately I've been hearing and seeing things that aren't there, my thoughts and speech have been disorganize. You can probably see my disorganized thought process here on G@G lately, me saying and thinking things that I had no control over. My food addiction is in full swing, I just spent all my money on food and alcohol and I have fees that I can't pay. I'm afraid of what delusions are going to come from this one and if I'm going to do something that I regret.

This morning I had an episode. I felt very depressed and angry, I just cried and shook and felt like tearing my room apart, I had voices and thoughts going through my head telling me how worthless and weak I am and that everyone hates me and I had visions of me harming myself and others. On my way to the gym I didn't know which reality I existed in or if I physically existed myself.

I just had a talk with my mother and I opened up to her. We decided to schedule an appointment with our doctor and see if I can get a referral to see a psychiatrist. I'm sitting here writing this with tear in my eyes and I feel scared. It feels like there's an anchor in my stomach. Is it normal to feel this way? I'm really trying not to bitch out of it and to get the help I need.

I'm only going to read the opinions for this question today, after today I'm taking a break from G@G