Why is it seen as bad for women to be supported by men these days?

[Alice2398]

I don't get some women theses days they can't make their mind up they either see it as empowering to take advantage of men and take all their money by getting suger daddys or a complete 1/80 of just refusing to have any support from the men in their lifes at all.

I do get a little shunned upon at times by people as my boyfriend is a little older than me and he supports and cares for me a lot but i do just the same for him to. He will help me with certain things like banking and other important life skills basically teaching me how to support myself. he's been there and done it and he just wants the best for me but some see it as him being controlling or me having daddy issues.

I pay for most my things myself and work my arse off but that doesn't mean i should feel ashamed of asking for a man's help once a while. I wouldn't call myself independent at all and i don't see anything wrong in sometimes relying on others to help me out id do just the same for them. But i feel a lot of women are shame for not doing everything by themselves.

Relationships should be a team effort and partners should support and help each other out. Whats the point in a relationship if you want to do everything alone and be fully independent relationships are about taking care of each other in my eyes but your either seen as a push over for supporting your man or weak if your man supports you sometimes.

[nelly83]

I think that it is unfair for man to constantly have to spend money on women. Men already pay for dates, buy you flowers, why expect him to spend so much more of his hard earned money on you? Women have an equal chance to an education and job training, just as men. There should be no reason why a woman would chose to have no ambition in life to support herself and instead she expects someone to pay everything for her. These types of women tend to be leechers. Typically these aren't high quality women you want for marriage.

As a good woman, I always think about my boyfriend's financials too. As a girlfriend, I know i am not entitled to him paying all my expenses. If I know he will pay for my food on a date, I would suggest a place that's not too expensive. If I am unemployed, I do not ask him to pay my rent. If I want to go on vacation, I save up for it. I don't leech off of someone else for their money. When someone constantly asks others for money or constantly borrows money from others, it shows that they are greedy, selfish and has no respect for others. I respect other people's money. Even when a friend wants to take me out for a meal, I keep in mind to BUY them back a meal next time when I have money.

Not saying your boyfriend should never assist you with anything, but when you're dating, both of your financials should be separate. He has no obligation to pay for your expenses.

But within marriage, I prefer to keep some sort of income because what if I want to divorce my husband one day? Being out of the workforce for 15+ years , really isn't likely to make me more employable. What if my husband leaves me for another woman? where would I go without money? Frequently providing husbands abuse their power over their housewives, thinking they can do whatever they want, since they know their wives can't survive without them.

[nelly83]

One thing that housewives do not realize is: When you are financially dependent on your husband, it is not only your invested emotions that are depended on him. Your entire life, living, every bite you eat, every breath of air you take, is all dependent on him. Without your husband, you are in huge danger. Know what the situation of what you're putting yourself into.

[Warmapplecrumble]

It's due to mass advertisement and world war.
The reason why government want this is double the taxes.
The reason why companies want this is two workers for the price of one.
It's great also as these workers now need things like nurseries and someone to clean their house.

It's actually a benefit to the economy even more as the future generations are more and more gullible and prone to advertisement and diseases such as depression. There is so much money to be made.

A happy family means happy children and that means lack of profit.

[Warmapplecrumble]

Thanks for MHO 😊

[tslater]

Codependent romantic brelationships, from what I can tell, have only recently become somewhat normal within the past 70 years. Equal rights activists don't seem to really know what they want so people will latch on to whatever narrative sounds best to them and roll with it. You'll have people making sense at one moment saying that relationships are a partnership between the man and the woman, but then the next moment, when the guy wants to help, the narrative changes and the man is evil and the woman doesn't need him because now women are actually superior. Next thing you know, the woman is no longer being superior and is actually the victim of a misogynistic monster that's flaunting his masculinity by simply playing football with his friends.
I'm all for equality in all things, people of all kinds are beautiful and have unmeasurable worth, but consistency and fairness and simple logic that upholds truth is really what we need here, not blanket narratives that help no one and really just create division.

[Usernamesrdumb]

Just food for thought 33% more likely of divorce and dead sex life if she makes more: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/can-american-men-ever-be-happy-if-their-wives-earn-more-than-they-do-2019-04-29
already 70% of divorces:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-third-wave/201705/who-initiates-divorce-more-often

[Account]

I don't see it as bad. It is none of my business what other women and men choose to do with their lives. However, it doesn't work for me. I prefer supporting myself a 100%. I do not want to be financially dependent on anyone. I don't want to be asking for help in regards to anything. That is just the way I am. I don't see how this can be an issue for others, it is my own choice for my own life.

[Anonymous]

Yeah what you say makes a lot of sense and what most guys are looking for in a woman is someone like you. If women want to be that independent then why get into a relationship, it feels better helping each other out because you both want to feel needed in a relationship and they work best

[Alice2398]

This is basically what im trying to say but a lot of people see it as bad

[Opinion Owner]

It’s not bad when you’re helping each other

[nelly83]

Some people feel like leechers by doing that. Its just all based on your beliefs and values.

[Opinion Owner]

@nelly83 Not if you are both pitching in

[nelly83]

Personally I don't think I need to pay for my boyfriend's rent or vacation. If I have to pay for a date, then that's fine. But in a bf/gf relationship, we are auditioning for marriage. We are not married

[thegirlfromthething]

If you want to be dependent on someone that’s fine, but it’s important to know how to be independent if you have to. It’s good to have options so you’re not in a situation where you can’t take care of yourself and have to rely on someone who doesn’t treat you well or doesn’t have the resources to fulfill your needs.

[myd_nudie]

100℅ agree with you

[nelly83]

this is the point these types of people choose to ignore.

[myd_nudie]

Yeah

[Unit1]

Haters gonna hate. Let them be your biggest fans and fuel your success.

"Relationships should be a team effort and partners should support and help each other out."

bingo! Absolutely! Anybody with this belief is one huge step closer towards being a proper boyfriend or girlfriend!

[TheAceholeSupreme666]

Agreed.

[DaBr3m]

Honestly People need to be independent on living but together through love that brought them there. Like if you can't live a day without texting your SO you have problems. Straight up without a doubt you lost control of someone and need to keep control over everything or everything feels like its falling apart. On another note, I have 2 best friends currently who are codependent on their wifes. As in everything or anything we talk about or do must have their wife somehow connected into it. We could literally talking about how the baseball game is really good and somehow that's a free pass to talk about their wives all of a sudden? Just cause single people are single doesn't mean we want to listen to your issues in your relationship or marriage. We got enough issues trying to find someone we dont need to have more 'indirect jabs at us being single' comments.

[kymberz]

Gurl - can you please stop living in my head? no i mean there really isn't enough room for both of us (i have a big brain but a tiny head)! so ya - get out of my head and then we can talk! cuz i feel exactly the same way you do and i hope this answer helps!

[AudreyB88]

Personally,
I feel that basic life skills were to be taught by ones parents or guardians.

Humans aren't solitary animals (you're allowed to ask for help), and we all possess different skill sets. I see it as a way of learning from someone more experienced in a skill than I.

[Lliam]

I agree with you, Alice2398. There's nothing at all wrong with your attitude or your relationship. While you aren't a leach or a sugarbaby, you're lucky to have a man who loves you and helps you. That's how relationships should work, regardless of which partner has the most resources. Way to go!

[Passinggas]

You sound right on track and will most likely live a happy life because you own your own brain. However, the weak brain women have been indoctrinated by this unnatural state of existence and they will never be settled with themselves. They are always pissed off, hate on men, and act like arsholes. They have no chance of ever living a content life.

[girlinthemirror]

I was raised in the family.. where we had a strong and financial secured father and a stay at home mother... my dad always worked hard for us to have everythibg we need and mother never worked...
Plus i was raised at disneys cartoons with princesses, who was always rescued by princes...
So i kinda have that role from childhood and its normal for me... even though i dont agree to stay at home... i want to have my own bussines and be able to work with what i love.. not for money...

[Alice2398]

Thats great to have dreams but if you want a business and family you might need to rely on your man to help out at times and support you like taking care of the kids sometimes or helping you by taking full time work to support the family regularly with money.

But then there will be shitty people judge you for not taking care of your kids and being there for them but also will say you only got were you were because of your partner giving up what they wanted to do to work regularly full time to keep money coming in.

Not but you should care what others think i just know its hard. My boyfriend has his own business and sometimes it can be hard working for yourself, money isn't always there to earn and you have to rely on the people around you for support.

[nelly83]

I totally agree the freedom of making my own income just makes me feel so much more secure and carefree.

[girlinthemirror]

threre a nany for it... and child day care to put kid, so i can have my own time and let husband do his work and brings money

[nelly83]

I think it’s important to spend time with the kids too but I wouldn’t necessarily need to be cooped up in a room all day with them. I was raised by working parents and I turned out better than most other people nowadays.

[turtlelovr]

It is all between both people who are dating. My ex wanted to be an at home gf/fiancee. I get stir crazy so I can't. But some people rather be the stay at home cook clean and take care of the kids. Ever person is different. I don't really see it as taking advantage as long as both agree to it and can afford it

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Feminist attitudes demand conformity. You’re not allowed to want things that aren’t on message. Women need to be prioritized, so you need to be either dominating a man or subverting men by trying to stand in their shoes.

[Billlewis]

I don't think it should be viewed negatively at all. My goal is to serve a woman as a personal maid, domestic servant and also pay all her bills and expenses, so she can just relax and enjoy herself.

[WhiteShoulder]

I don’t mean to be rude, but wasn’t your boyfriend so broke recently that you had to pay for him?

That being said, there’s nothing wrong with the relationship you describe.

[Alice2398]

I don't pay for him all the time, only on occasion or when i want to treat him. But that's what i mean there's nothing wrong in supporting each other

[WhiteShoulder]

Nothing wrong at all

[Alice2398]

He does also pays £50/£60 on patrol to drive to see me and take me home too. We've spoken about it all too now as well and he's trying his hardest to do better. We had a really good time this weekend and we paid everything pretty equally. He even said if he doesn't make much money in the next two years with his business he's going to stop which really made me sad as i don't want him to give up on his dreams.

[WhiteShoulder]

That’s wonderful! ❤️

He really loves you. And vice versa.

[Alice2398]

Yeah i know just sometimes relationships can be scary and i don't want him in debt because of me especially with added pressure of trying to keep a business.

[WhiteShoulder]

I totally agree

[kulman01]

This modern day feminism that says taking a man support is weak. Or vice versa that your man is weak is he is making you work. It will only destroy a relationship eventually. You are right that relationship is about complementing each other and there is no shame in asking help from your partner. Just believe in yourself

[MzAsh]

You sound relatively independent compared to most 21 year olds. Most people your age don’t even have jobs and they think paying their cell is “paying bills.”

[Anonymous]

This is why we say women say one thing but do something totally different. You can say that you don't need a man, you go girl! You can do it yourself! But then you need help, you need money, you need child support, you need alimony, you need special laws that serve your interests as a woman.

[mistixs]

Or maybe these are different women saying different things?

[Opinion Owner]

@mistixs All women are like that. There is no exception. Female nature is universal.

[AynonOMouse]

Those same women that don't want you depending on a man for anything will surely depend on a man themselves when they need their computer or car fixed, or if they need to be rescued by a fireman, etc. They are hypocrites.

[Bman4907]

Just seems to give people a reason to bitch about something.

Humanity is not a lone wolf species. You need help, don't hesitate to ask for it. I ask for help when I need it. There is nothing wrong with it.

[OddBeMe]

It’s the times. There’s a lot of anti-feminist ranting right now, so it causes reverse effect of ranting on other women. It’s all bs. Just be happy. And by the way, it’s 180 degrees, not 1/80 like a fraction :)

[Alice2398]

I wasn't sure how to phrase that term in writing 😅