LBGTQ members, why do you try to police your loved ones... a little TOO much?

[Anonymous]

I would say I'm an ally to the LGBTQ community. I respect you, I love you, I want you to live your life freely the way you want without anyone preventing you from doing so. You want me to not say or do anything that could come off and offensive or rude, tell me and I'll correct myself. Anyone around me who says something ignorant and insensitive, I'll correct them. However, I have an issue with something.

I as a Cisgender, Black Man, is obviously is going to be ignorant to your plights and struggles and of course my outlook on things. But I have friends in my life who would get upset at me for things such as saying one of our mutual friends is so "innocent" because of his child-like wonder and fascination and I love him for that. I get told innocence culture is bad and that I shouldn't support it nor agree to the use of the word at all.

I speak about the type of women I would like to be in a relationship with and I say I have a physical list of personality traits that I prefer that I reference. Not to have the perfect partner, but so that I can see physically what I am attracted to. I am told that's weird and is wrong. That I should just accept people as they are.

Or even policing what could be counted as "queer fashion". Tyring to state that someone I know is queer by the way they dress but me stating from what I know of said person, they're straight and fashion doesn't have to be worn by a specific group of people only.

Or when speaking about fictional characters, celebrities, or internet personalities, one of my friends (Lesbian/Gender Curious) would make jokes about a character or a rapper's sexuality (little Tecca for example), and I'd say, nah they're straight. And it will cause a 20 minute back and forth of her saying "Why do they have to be straight? Why can't they be bi?"

[Bagerl]

Your friends sound like tight-asses, and like they wouldn't take you seriously if you had a problem with something they said or did. That doesn't have to do with being queer that's just a bad friend, and needs to be confronted about it. Friends should have mutual respect, and be able to talk about things honestly without freaking out over a misunderstanding.

It's understandable that if they believe certain language and behaviors are harmful they want you not to practice that, but it sounds like that's not a mutual thing, and like they don't listen to your side of the issues. If they're friends with you and believe you're a good person, then they should give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you don't intend to cause harm. Correcting a friend should not be done as if you are an enemy trying to hurt them.

[bobalife]

It’s not the LGBTQ community, but only your type of friends. I don’t do that to anyone nor have I experienced that from any of my queer community. People tend to generalize demographics and population by one person experience. It does not speak for all.

[pethouse]

I only have one lgbtq friend (don’t have a lot of friends I pick quality over quantity) and he doesn’t police people. I’m fact most gay guys Ik don’t police it. But they are cool asf! As for the rest I never really met any lesbians but I have met a few bi people but mainly girls or a guy that doesn’t want to admit it. I think I’ve only met a trans once and I don't know what a queer is tbh. I might need to Get out more?

[NaultD]

Lgbtplus are a group that recently have been muder in broad daylight for being lgbtplus.

https://youtu.be/_Zq1g8PWd9A?si=vG6KWYGc11axmFBW

This is old USA kkk lynching where the police who don't give a fuck or even potential dismissing it as a solidarity stance. That can't be accepted.

[Little_Bumblebee]

This seems like something you should question your LGBTQ friends about, instead of general members as a community.

[Asker]

That is very fair. I have had some talks but I've of them just gets aggressive and says they're morals make them have to point out that queer people exist too and that is bothersome that my default is that at first glance, people are "straight" instead of being not.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Sounds like they want it to be normalized more to be anything.
I'm part of the community, so I kind of get what they're thinking. But being and getting angry is not really a great way to go about it. Sounds like a lot of it, is the "assumptions" if that makes sense.

[Asker]

Thank you for helping me understand

[Little_Bumblebee]

I hope you're able to talk openly about this with your friends as well. And that they will talk about it openly as well. That's always the best way to learn about it.
And all queer people are different. Some are uptight, and some aren't. We're all different.

But I think all just want to be accepted.

You can always ask them "Is it okay for me to ask about this, to understand" or stuff like that. And as long as you come from a non-judgemental place, I believe most people will be open to answer your questions.

[Anonymous]

Well you are question a “community” that is literally adding a new letter, symbol and definition every couple weeks. A “community” that gets to make up the rules as they go along and demand everybody heed to whatever new change as indisputable truth. A “community” that not only demands a day, week but an entire month to “celebrate” (not counting all their extra holidays)

[CrabCakes11]

Not all queer people are all neurotic as your friends

[pethouse]

Can you tell me what queer is?

[CrabCakes11]

@pethouse LGBTQ people

[pethouse]

Oh queer just means the lgbtq community?

[pethouse]

Like as an overall

[CrabCakes11]

@pethouse yeah. If you aren’t straight and/or cis you’re queer

[DextroShade]

The alphabet people are becoming increasingly deranged and should be avoided whenever possible.

[grega239]

Because they think theyre above the rest of society. Pure narcasism

[Guanfei]

A little? They're a fucking cult. They're policing everyone and everything.

[NetherlandsNar]

I am lgbt but I don't police anyone

[gorydetails]

Is this some elaborate troll?

[Asker]

No. Genuine.

[gorydetails]

You sound like a pussy being bullied by a bunch of mentally ill lunatics.