My boyfriend used to like my friend. How do I cope with feeling second best?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend, my friend and I are all in the same circle of friends.

Before my boyfriend and I got together, he used to like my friend. He only liked her physically though, and not her personality so he went off her. He then turned his attention to me and actually liked me so we started going out.

The problem is that I feel inferior to my friend. I always have felt she's better than me. She's objectively more attractive than me and she's a sweet person (sometimes to the point of being a pushover though.) I feel worse than her all the time and it doesn't help that my boyfriend used to like her.

They barely say a word to each other when they interact, but I can tell that my boyfriend looks at her when she's all dressed up. I also feel like he overcompensates because he keeps criticising her looks when she's literally beautiful and he used to fancy her.

I constantly feel like I'm second best or like I was the second option after things didn't work out with my friend. I know my boyfriend loves me and i love him too but i can't deny that this plays on my mind every now and again. It might just be my inferiority complex talking. Any thoughts or advice?

[Donald_Tate]

Your boyfriend is a man of taste and refinement. He knows quality when he sees it, and clearly, your friend has that certain something that caught his eye. The fact that he then turned to you shows that he values you for other qualities—perhaps your cooking skills, or your ability to keep a clean house. So, instead of feeling inferior, you should be proud that a man of such high standards settled for you.

And let's be honest, your boyfriend is a real catch. He could have any woman he wants, but he chose to be with you. So, instead of feeling second best, you should be on your knees every day, thanking the good Lord above for this opportunity.

As for your friend, well, she sounds like a real doozy. A sweet pushover, you say? That's just code for a boring, spineless woman with no backbone. Your boyfriend probably realized this and thought, "Hey, I can do better." And he did! He chose you! So, instead of feeling threatened, embrace your inner alpha female and show your boyfriend why he made the right choice.

Remember, in the wise words of Andrew Tate, "If you can't handle a man being attracted to other women, get a dog." So, buck up, buttercup, and start acting like the proud, second-best girlfriend you are.

You're welcome,
@Donald_Tate

P. S. Don't forget to vote MAGA in 2024. We need to keep America great and put these whiny, insecure women in their place!

[Twalli]

He picked you, not her. It isn't like things failed with her so he chose you as compensation. Nothing even started with her.

[Biancam13]

You shouldn't compare yourself to your friend. There's a reason why they didn't work together.. they weren't compatible, as you said, while you are a way better match for him. Just remember that. He chose you, not any other girl. And certainly not your friend. If he wanted to be with her he would have.

Just because you think she looks better doesn't mean that your boyfriend will think that way.

Unless your boyfriend is doing anything to make you believe he's cheating (like flirting around or acting shady), then I think you have nothing to worry about. Just relax in the knowing that he chose to be with you.

[Asker]

Thank you. That's reassuring to hear.

[MsProsperity]

I feel you. He chose you, not her. Girl he’s your man stop worrying too much you’ll end up pushing him away because of overthinking. Relax, okay?

[liggang]

I rarely fall for the most beautiful girl. So many times I am pining for the girl who is a 7 over the girl who is a 9.

Yea sure she's beautiful but that's not enough to make me become infatuated and fall in love.

What makes me fall in love? I don't frigging know. All I know is that I've had mega crushes many times on girls who weren't the hottest or most beautiful around.

I don't need the most beautiful girl. Its not like I'm sad because I didn't get her. Or I'm sad that the girl I ended up wanting wasn't the most beautiful. It's not like that at all.

[JacobJordan]

Who is he dating? You or her? According to you he is dating you. Meaning he choose you OVER her. You are quite literally overthinking this. You weren't the second choice he never made a move from what you said. Meaning he picked you first not second.

[sheikalana]

Stop comparing yourself with your friend. Your boyfriend is with you because he wants to if he wanted to be with your friend he would have.

[Anonymous]

Why do u feel less than her? Is it because of looks? Do u care a lot about beauty

[Opinion Owner]

How does he criticise her looks? When u told he himself finds her beautiful. This sounds like a red flag to me. It’s like he cannot praise her so he himself is jealous of her and is spewing hate. There’s a thin line between love and hate

[Opinion Owner]

I get a feeling he’s with u because he wants to make her insecure. He sounds like a red flag tbh. Be careful

[Asker]

Mainly because she's pretty, and she usually gets all the male attention while I get passed over. Like I'll be walking with her, and guys will walk past and they'll catcall her and ignore me. Guys usually choose her over me. It doesn't help that she's a nice person too. Again, I don't know if the whole thing is just my insecurities bc my boyfriend has not really given me any reason to believe he likes her still.

[Opinion Owner]

Does beauty matter so much? Tomorrow it might be a even prettier girl who will make u feel insecure. Why do u think she’s better looking

[Asker]

Thanks. He didn't tell me himself he finds her hot, but when they first met (I was there) he said she was ridiculously hot which doesn't help things.

He says I'm beautiful regularly and always comments on how pretty I look, but I can't help but compare myself to her and how she's prettier.

Do you really think he's jealous of her though? Couldn't he just wanting to reassure me or maybe he doesn't like her?

[Opinion Owner]

He sounds toxic tbh. Why does he talk about her with hate , sounds like he cannot swallow being ignored by her. Be wary of guys who bitch about physically appealing women. It’s mostly because they couldn’t get a taste

[Opinion Owner]

Reassuring and hating someone because u are insecure and jealous is different. It’s upto u to see the reality

[Opinion Owner]

Why do u think she’s “prettier “? By what u told he’s never told she’s beautiful than u. Because he has called both of u pretty

[Asker]

He assures me I'm pretty and that we're both attractive girls, but the thing is, almost everyone else prefers her over me. Especially most guys. That's partly why I'm insecure. I feel my boyfriend is lying to me about how attractive he finds me compared to her or girls like her. I feel he's just trying to make me feel better.

[Opinion Owner]

Wdym everyone?

[Opinion Owner]

We we’re talking about one guy. Wdym most guys lol

[msc545]

Whoever your boyfriend used to like should have no bearing on the current situation at all. I think you are overreacting to this. Let it go before you wreck your relationship.

[itsclearlynicholas]

I'm glad I don't have those problems. Sympathy like 👍🏻

[OddBeMe]

Feelings and emotions change. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

[Anonymous]

Get over it, its not like he started liking her after you and him got together.

[Anonymous]

Let him go. Clearly you can't get over it.

[jahaims]

Comparison is the thief of joy

[war_daddy]

cope? you ARE second best

[fordtruck]

I don’t know

[In_Trance]

But.. he's with you

[FuqUFggt]

Date a better man.

[negrl4a69]

Have a threesome