What would you do if your wife left you while you were dying from cancer?

[Lookingforthetruth]

A woman has opened up about why she divorced her dying husband, saying his five-year cancer battle took a toll on their marriage as he wallowed in self-pity.

Yana Fry, 40, wed her late husband when she was 22 years old and dreamed of starting a family with him. But the bride’s dreams were soon dashed when her husband, then 37, was diagnosed with testicular cancer.

“How can you plan for your future as a newly-married couple when you’re struggling with something like cancer?”

“People react in one of two ways to critical illnesses, I’ve seen it over and over,” she continued. “The first type was how my husband unfortunately was — the people who drown in self-pity. The second type of people are those who are instead concerned with everyone around them.”

Fry, who was living in New York City with her husband, said no one was worried about how she was doing.

“We saw different kinds of doctors. Not a single person ever offered me help,” she bemoaned.

“They never asked, ‘Do you need a support system? Are you part of a counseling group?'”

Fry’s husband continued treatment for his cancer, but the disease only worsened.

“I was hoping for the best with my ex-husband’s cancer, but then years went by, and I started to lose hope,” she recalled.

“It was five years with all the treatments, and it started to change the dynamics within our relationship.”

Fry says she was motivated to finally leave her sickly spouse after a friend took their own life.

“It was my first funeral, and it was very shocking,” Fry explained of her pal’s unexpected suicide.

“In my mind at the time, suicide became an option, even though I had never considered that before. I was in such a bad state.”

Fry has since moved to Singapore, remarried, and works as a life coach.

Fry subsequently filed for divorce from her husband, leaving him stunned.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Well, nothing would surprise me at this point.

Betrayal stuns you when it happens first time, you ask to universe, lots of “how?” And lots of “why?”.

Then you learn that betrayal never comes when you are at your strongest,

it also never comes from the people you expect to betray you,

You also learn that, you’ve only got yourself, just yourself. And you have to be your own hero.

In Georgian language, instead of starting with “Once upon a time”, fairytales start with something along the lines “There was and There wasn’t…”, I believe these words signifies that nothing is real, nothing is absolute. Was it really real what you believed to be real? Did it really happen what you believed to happen?

Betrayal always comes from people who you love so hard that you’d die for them,

it leaves you shaken to the core, laughed at by life, as if that’s a life’s way to tell you “You fool, you really believed you could trust a human? You really believed in real love? You silly child, look what I can do to everything you believed in.”

And yet, my late grandpa once told me, life will throw so much pain to you, you’ll lose so many people along the way, if you grieve too long, you’ll spend your whole life grieving. Accept and keep living.

So, that’s the only thing I’d do, accept and keep living till I was alive.

But when we were together I’ve thought, what if I was ever ill, would I want him to see me?

No… I loved him, which means I wouldn’t want him to suffer next to me. I’d rather die alone, knowing my pain wouldn’t devastate him as well, I might have even left him, to save him from the pain of seeing me in pain.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have never had any health problems but I can relate to this situation because my partner left when I needed him the most.

It proved me once again that I should never ever depend on anyone but myself. You’ve got to be strong and happy. And that’s not a tragedy, it’s a tragedy that we’ve been sold this stupid idea of love and then we are continually getting stunned when we get stabbed in our back by people we trusted the most.

Love is the most selfish emotion and they love you until they can suck you out like a parasite, then they’ve got to find a new host to suck out. That’s nature, survival of the fittest. You shouldn’t let it happen again.

In life and death, I am the only person who’ll be there for me and that’s perfectly fine, because at least, I am not going to betray myself ever. And there’s a peace in knowing that.

[provokeesmokee]

It's better to leave him so he can shore up with a better support system.

Way I see it, she wasn't going to be able to support him anyways. Why let two people sink?

My aunt died of cancer, and she was what sounds like the latter type: someone who thinks of their family and loved ones while facing their mortality. It's a definite cultural focus for my culture, but it's also something my aunt stood for. Family, even though sometimes that meant pretending at family.

I have left every long term partner I've dated so far because they ultimately end up being like the woman's husband: self-pitying, focused on complaining, focus on woe is me.

Instead of just investing that meager energy towards a solution.

I'm an action oriented person who solves problems as best I can. I will not abide being with someone who can't do that themselves. It's too annoying and I no longer have time to entertain it.

That said, she's looking for gold in dung if she wants supports or mental health care out of American healthcare.

[lightbulb27]

I know people whom stay with sick spouses and others that don't. I wouldn't judge her, it be a life of misery if the spouse is negative all the time, or can I tell someone how much they should be able to shoulder. My parents for one, stayed together through it and I stayed in it with them. But generally speaking, they were positive people... it's different when people are emotionally draining.

I'll pray to God for health for all my family, and hope we never have to deal with it, or if so, for long.

I think it be a very tough spot to be in being the sick person. I see these people on the streets holding signs.

[DarkWinterNights]

Write her out of the will. I can understand having a hard time with the whole thing, but all I heard throughout her explanations was how inconvenienced she sounded that her fairy tale princess life wasn’t turning out like how she felt she deserved. She almost sounds like a psychopath.

[Sixgunsound]

There is no almost about it. She found a way to make dying of cancer worse.

[AviatorTom]

I would go ahead and die... and wish my wife well in whatever she does. I would understand her moving on, but why divorce me? Let me die first.

[TrueConfection]

So her husband was fighting cancer and she was wallowing in her own self pity asking, "What about meeeee?"

She should have been his cheering section, inspiration, and biggest supporter.

I know a man who left his dying wife for another woman, but didn't actually file the divorce papers so he could keep the house. Utter scum.

What would I do if I were the dying individual? I guess I'd be stunned too. I'd be glad I found out the truth of who my husband really was before I passed on and I'd probably be relieved to not listen to someone crying, "What about meeeeee," while fighting for my life.

[Anonymous]

The story doesn't make it clear how long she stuck it out with him. I'm not excusing anything but it is relevant.

Did you happen to watch Craig Sager (assuming you know who he is) give his espy speech when he was fighting Luekemia? He made a public plea to his wife not to leave him. It made me wonder (even though Craig made good money) how much of a toll it'd taken on his marriage.

Yes the vows are in sickness and in health. And yes it means something to hold true to those vows. But some people can't some spouse don't want to saddle thier spouses with that.

This story definitely doesn't paint her in a good light. But I would like to know more before I shame her for it. Because I wasn't in that marriage and I can't claim to know everything it entailed.

[Lookingforthetruth]

story says it pretty clear. Dude was diagnosed with cancer early into their marriage (first year). She was with him for 5 years then dipped.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah my bad I missed the 5 years. Part all I saw was the 22 to 40. I still don't see where it says he was diagnosed the first year.
But yeah, this is one of the reasons I don't want a relationship today is because I'm well aware of most women's lack of commitment today. You may be all in. But most women on this site will tell you themselves that they're all in until there's diversity. Then they're outtie.
I was just trying to give this woman the benefit of the doubt.

[ShesRad80]

think they weren't the person i thought they were and tell them to leave but change my will real fast. though i get what she is saying no one offered her help, unfort sometimes you have to kick down a door and help yourself. she herself stated her husband was wallowing, though so was she.

[DarkLegacy]

Lol i said he should spend his all his money as fast as possible or give it away to other people or causes he cares about. He would need to do that in the UK, because married spouses in the UK can contest the will change as they are entitled to have of everything.

[ShesRad80]

@DarkLegacy ahhh then good idea

[Sixgunsound]

My mother divorced my father after he was one of five survivors of a chemical plant explosion where he worked. She waited until all the settlement money came in and filed once her profits from his near-death experience were maximized. She made a promise to a rich man with a good job and dumped him when his earning potential decreased. What a gold-digging piece of shit.

[DarkLegacy]

She deserves to die very painfully

[KrakenAttackin]

This is not uncommon at all. Women do not tolerate weakness, of any kind, in men. ANY man who thinks their wife's "love" is unconditional is a damn fool. Lose your job, get sick, become disabled, and she will BOUNCE like a bad check.

Women are along for the ride as long as the ride is first class and paid by someone else.

[Dinklex3]

Pretty sad.

My mom stuck with my dad when he had cancer. I can’t really imagine someone leaving the person they love in a time of need.

Sounds like she was pretty immature though and married at 22? Probably wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment.

[NYCQuestions1976]

She's a weak-minded selfish person. What is she teaching others as a life coach? To run away when things get difficult? I guarantee that if a guy did the same exact thing to a woman with ovarian cancer and the story went viral, he'd be vilified by every vagina on the planet.

[California_Poppy]

I could see how chronic illness could put a strain on a marriage, so I do have some level of empathy, but I promised for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and I don't take that lightly.

[LiamJHayden]

What would I do? Liquidate all the assets I could before the divorce and anonymously and untraceably donate the proceeds to various charities. What is she going to do? Sue me lol. I would tell the courts to kick rocks if they ordered me to reveal who got what.

[exitseven]

I probably would understand. It sounds really bad what she did but I don't think I would want my wife to see me sick and dying with all these tubes sticking out of me.

[inhua]

it would be great if more women were willing to call out women like this instead of calling out Candace Owens who is willing to call out women like this

[Drewtate]

Well at least I found out then. Obviously the guy has no money or she would have waited until he died. This way she only gets half and if he's not working he claims alimony.

[NamerOfStars]

That's taking greed and selfishness to new levels. I think that women should be forced to marry Newt Gingrich; at least they'll have something common.

[Gent207-2]

So there marriage was messed up from the jump and here is the domino effect. Still don't make it right

[DarkLegacy]

She is a terrible person, and i would spend every single penny of my money so she gets fuck all

[DarkLegacy]

Only a woman, particularly a millennial woman would do such a thing, he should spend all his money or transfer it across to other people/causes he cares about so the bitch doesn't get a penny.

[JesseP1nk]

People can be pieces of shit. That is just part of life. Just makes me wonder what does new husband think. That he won't be dumped when things go south? :D

[FunkyMonkee]

Cure it and then go out and find a girl that actually gives an honest fuck about me!!

[zagor]

Since she is entirely imaginary I would have no problem with that; I'd just conjure up another one.

[Sparkie460]

I know my wife would never do that because she honors the vows we took.

If it did ever happen, I'd wish her the best

[lorenzomichael]

I tell her bitch you better take the fucking dog cuz I ain't going to feed it.

[loveslongnails]

I think it's impossible to say and impossible to imagine, so I have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Beating ball cancer would seem to me to be far more important than the relationship that just ended. So focus on that.

[Luckycharms12]

Nothing can do send the time you have left with loved ones

[Sixgunsound]

I hope there weren't any kids who had to find out who their mother really is as their father lay dying. It wouldn't be particularly confidence inspiring to a child that their mother up and ran when the going got tough.

[MementoMori777]

die quicker i guess 😂

[Miristheiss]

Write her out of my will.

[Anonymous]

Life goes on. Shit happens.

[shades777]

divorce her, and make sure she dont get squat

[Sabretooth]

Sounds narcissistic.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Liquor and whores

[Anonymous]

Accept fate and give myself a sunroof

[Anonymous]

I imagine I would die.

[pethouse]

Die faster