Search Results: he said he loves me but now he's distant

I dated this guy a bit but i was not ready to date anyone. i didn't really know how to let him down bc i did like him and i ended up just being cold. things ended messily.

a few years later after being friendly for a while , and seeing we are still into each other, i decided to say id like to try being together again. but for some reason i kept talking and said bc im in love with him. and it was horrible bc i was like

-To answer your question, I want us to try being together again,, bc im in love wit you. oh no! i didn't mean that never mind. i just want some space.-

and i left.

its not so much i mind him knowing i feel that way. im not sure i do i might but not sure plus i did not mean to say it and i dont like using control in that way. so its bothering me, and I've been avoiding him but i know thats not really fair.,

im just uncomfortable starting things this way IF he's even interested. its hard enough for me to be close to a person and im concerned saying what i did is going to cause me to be even more distant which i already did the first time. i wanted things to be different this time around, but if he's going to be weird i now ill shut down... ironically i wanted to take things slow. still do.

do you think you could date a person you though was in love with you, without getting weird about it?

and can we till take things slow even after i sad what i said?

I think often when women are trying to solve a relationship parable, people just tell them useless things like be nice or open or pleasant or supportive encouraging etc. its not helpful. im not waiting for something to happen. i want to fix things, i just dont know -what- to do. I am specifically trying to solve a problem not just let light fairies into my life.

the person im dealing with is currently angry with me and i want to clear things up for him but im not sure what to say because i dont think we trust each other enough to be in a relationship. but if i say i want to be friends he will think i dont like him i more than like him, if it do not bother me to say id say im in love.

we dated a while ago but he used things too quickly-not sex just generally- and i didn't know how to go slow and be around him so i just ended it but never explained. now we hang out & i can tell we both still like each other. and he's asked me out but bc i dont want to make the same mistake im distant with him so he won't think im ready or anything so that i dont disappoint him... but its back firing bc he thinks im playing games.

anyhow we already hang out and that is not helping clear things up. so i dont see how
be present is supposed to be helpful. more like no one reads anything other than the title.

-do tell him i want to be with him but be friends first?

-or tell him how i feel but want to be friends for now?

or something else?

i can't really ask him what he wants bc I've confused him so i dont think he'd be able to answer. i can't really answer but he asked a question and i dont want to ignore it.

we dated 2 years ago. weve been on friendly terms for the past 6 months. he got mad 5 days ago and said he does not want to play games. and asked what i want.

maybe casual dating is an ok idea I don't know. but he does not date around so he might take it as i dont really like him.

should i just ask him why he asked?

I briefly dated a guy i really liked three years ago. we did not know each other very well before we started dating. only knew each other a few months, but we were getting to know each other while dating. but i was not ready to get involved due to multiple factors too long to go into but nothing to do with him. i did not explain anything to him i just eft at the time i thought it was easier because we were both busy and he wouldn't understand my reasons anyhow. so it was ike i was saving him time.

he did not see it that way and was quite hurt and frustrated by the situation. we dd not speak for several months, and i was not expecting him to talk to me again but we started spending with him lately with other friends and things are a lot better between us now.

we have been spending time together alone more often and my feelings for him have grown. i'm pretty quiet and distant. i don't want him thinking i don't like him so i asked him a few times if he wanted to hang out.

last time he got really upset and sad he didn't understand me and didn't now what i wanted. he basically demanded to know what i wanted. i got a bit annoyed and said ' i was not asking him for anything i just wanted to know if he wanted to hang out and tbh everything is so complicated id really rather just walk away except im in love with him so i wanted to make sure he's not interested before I did that.. walked away'

by the time i realized what i was saying i already said it and i dont mind him knowing how i feel its just that not what i wanted to talk about. i wanted to start over and take things slow. apologize explain stuff see if he still wanted to be friends then see how things go. ... instead, i just told him im in love with him.

should i still apologize for the past?

and IF he's interested in more than friendship, how do i slow things down after what i said?

if he's not interested can we still be friends?