Men are not the only "cheating creatures on the planet." Women tend to cheat less, with only 15% acknowledging an affair in a current or previous relationship. While that's a fairly low number, it represents a 40% increase over the past two decades. Surprisingly, 68% of women said they'd green light an affair if there was no chance of their current partner finding out.
Most married folks like to pretend extramarital affairs just don't happen — or at least not in their houses. But the sad truth is affairs do happen. They're a lot more common than you might think, and women are almost just as likely to step out on their relationship as their male counterparts.
"Despite over 90 percent of Americans believing cheating is morally wrong, a 2015 study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy says 74 percent of men and 68 percent of women admit they'd have an affair if they knew they'd never get caught," said Michelle Crosby, relationship expert and founder of Wevorce. "Not such a wide gap between the sexes and an interesting revelation on the strength of morality in today's world."
Let's take a look at some of the reasons that have been offered up:
Emotional cheating often leads to physical cheating, and even though the lines are blurred when dealing with 'emotional cheating. Emotional cheating is a topic in itself, but can be a dangerous game.
Attachment style affects how people feel in close relationships and can make people insatiably hungry for more connection — in which case they might have to look outside the relationship for more.
Just because a spouse is physically present does not mean he is emotionally checked in, and for some women, that sort of abandonment can be worse. The urge to cheat can often emerge when women feel emotionally abandoned," most women cheat (or explain/justify their cheating) because their emotional needs were either not being met, or were perceived as not being met by their partner. They feel lonely, ignored, not paid attention to, etc. Most of the time the cheating was not premeditated; they realized how lonely or vulnerable they were once someone else started paying attention to them.
Many affairs can happen during pre-menopause when women experience an intense flash of sexuality, biologically explained as a last chance to procreate, an urgent, hormonal 'going out of business' sale,"
Some people may be "scared of intimacy in a way that allows sexual desire to only be felt outside of a deep partnership, because there is too much closeness with a partner to feel safe merging through sex.
Sometimes, a woman's decision to cheat is nothing more than a tactic to show her partner who's really in charge.
If your relationship is headed this way, it is critical to evaluate whether the partnership is flexible enough to allow for better compromise and shared decision-making.
As more women are financially independent, they are less dependent on their partners. This increases their testosterone levels and lowers their estrogen which is a hormone balance more similar to a man's," explained Gray. "This increased testosterone can increase her desire for sex with a stranger or a one night stand for fun. On the other hand, married women who are less financially independent will tend to have lower testosterone and higher estrogen. This balance increases her need and attachment to her partner."
To Spice Things Up
It's pretty normal for even the most exciting relationship to get a little boring every now and then, but some women are prepared to cross some pretty big lines to bring excitement back into their lives. Rhonda Milrad, founder and CEO of Relationup, says it's actually a reason many women cheat. "Some women feel that they have landed in a rut and that their life has become predictable and boring. A new relationship can seem like an exciting way to get a buzz," she explained. "The secretiveness, the sneaking around, the sexual passion can create a high with the release of all those feel-good hormones. These women often compartmentalize and tell themselves that this affair does not detract from their love for their partner.
In closing, most People believed that women would report that they were very unhappy or cheating for emotional reasons and sex was a distant, secondary issue. Generally, women are seen as the less sexual gender. Yes, we know women enjoy sex, but most people assume they don’t miss it the way men do. If a man goes days or weeks without sex, it’s assumed he’s going to explode. If the same happens to a woman, somehow it’s assumed she’ll keep busy and not actively miss it. Marital jokes are frequently about how little sex the husband is getting. And I think I read somewhere that given a choice between finding great shoes or having great sex, most women choose the shoes. Five hundred and five women from around the world say these assumptions are all wrong.
As humans both men and women are fallible. Remember never ever judge a book just by the cover.
Most Helpful Opinions
Well here's the thing... hypergamy says a woman will try to make a man into an emotional support system and then loathe the person he becomes. This happens over and over and over. She then shuts down sexually, as women can actually do this because, let's face it, she's now bored to tears with this beta chump she has created, and just no longer gets the vag-tingles. For many they will go along like this indefinitely if they aren't strong enough to break out of the provisioning of what they have and strike out on their own. That's where the lack of sex complaints come from.
Now it's highly likely if some good lookin' guy come along and pays attention to her and she thinks she's got a shot at something better than what she's got, she'll bail on the old marriage, or have the affair. Generally none of it works out very well, and the guy isn't likely going to really want all of her anyway, just her sex. He doesn't really want to support her like your husband is doing.
Biologically women are not programmed for monogamy. Their true nature is to provide plenty of donor options to ensure the best chance of survival of her many offspring. So from the get-go she is highly likely to become bored out of her mind with just one man. Same deal, the desire spirals down and she begins to lose attraction, and the sex drops off.
It really is up to the men, the burden of performance, if you will. They have to remain attractive, fit, income producing, be entertaining, and lead. If he doesn't, and doesn't remain the man she was originally attracted to, then their relationship is doomed.
And same for the ladies, no frumpzilla - get off our butt and do your hair and makeup, put on some decent clothes and make yourself attractive. Love your man and stay attractive, respect him, feed him, and sex him, and he'll swim through shark infested waters to bring you lemonade.
Oh, and 'emotional abandonment'? Uh, no. A man is not an emotional tampon - save that shit for your girlfriends. Seriously, a woman utters some 25k words a day and the men about 5K. And all her chatter is about how she feels. That's why she needs to have great girlfriends that she can chatter with. This is not what men are for and they do a shitty job of being your girlfriend. So just don't expect it and you won't feel 'abandoned'.
All I can say is...
Thank God for Viagra
The thing I hear over and over is the women cannot get their men to fuck them the way they like it. They're too fussy, too selfish, to quick, to _____fill in the blank. So you have to dominate them, fuck their brains out, make sure they are having grand mall seizures, and then they won't be so inclined to just fuck some guy that comes along cuz she's already well done.
Of course, NAWALT - one of our favorite acro's (not all women are like that). Some are just down right repulsed by sex. Usually it's just the guy they're with - they're sick and tired of him so they want a different guy and the mating ritual.
Which is why I said TGFV
Exactly. They try to make you into what they think they want and then wonder why they look down on you.
@FýrdracaDócincel so what do they actually want?
@BigBallerSodaPop They actually want a man that is strong enough to lead. To be able to make decisions, and to be their emotional rock in their shit-storm of feelings. Do you react to every stupid little tirade your woman has? Try to fix her? And then fuck her well, dominate her, be her MAN in the bedroom. She'll just keep coming back for more. Even the staunchest of feminists admit they like to be dominated sexually.
A woman utters some 25K words a day, a man about 5K. Most of what's coming out of her mouth is simply how she feels. Remember, watch what they do - not what they say.
It is incumbent on men to hold onto the manly traits that first attracted his woman. Don't buy into the 'show your feminine side' bullshit. Stay fit, make lots of money, have your outside hobby and sports interests, your guy friends, and be the man you want to be. Don't cow-tow to some female's notion of what they want cuz they really don't know - it's just how they FEEL!
Don't use logic - THERE ISN'T ANY!
They want a guy who is outcome-driven instead of relationship-driven. Meaning that he puts getting the end result he wants before how getting what he wants affects those around him. Enforce your needs and desires, don't give a shit about what others think about it. If they get in your way, handle them ruthlessly. If they want to leave, let them.
@FýrdracaDócincel Seems like you're referring to OI - or OUTCOME INDEPENDENCE. Very necessary - you have to really just not care about the outcome - however it works out is fine. You always give it your best, your all, everything you've got, to the best of your ability.
For women, go or stay, either is good. If you're gonna stay then get on my train - get on board. If you're gonna go then GTFO.
People are too wishy-washy about how they do things. Men need to act with authority, and confidence. Be excessively confident about what you do and what you decide. But not so inflexible that you cannot accept advice. Just make sure the advice comes from a reliable source, not just someone's feelings.