The Laundry List of Why Women Cheat

The Laundry List of Why Women Cheat

Men are not the only "cheating creatures on the planet." Women tend to cheat less, with only 15% acknowledging an affair in a current or previous relationship. While that's a fairly low number, it represents a 40% increase over the past two decades. Surprisingly, 68% of women said they'd green light an affair if there was no chance of their current partner finding out.

Most married folks like to pretend extramarital affairs just don't happen — or at least not in their houses. But the sad truth is affairs do happen. They're a lot more common than you might think, and women are almost just as likely to step out on their relationship as their male counterparts.

"Despite over 90 percent of Americans believing cheating is morally wrong, a 2015 study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy says 74 percent of men and 68 percent of women admit they'd have an affair if they knew they'd never get caught," said Michelle Crosby, relationship expert and founder of Wevorce. "Not such a wide gap between the sexes and an interesting revelation on the strength of morality in today's world."

Let's take a look at some of the reasons that have been offered up:

Emotional Cheating

Emotional cheating often leads to physical cheating, and even though the lines are blurred when dealing with 'emotional cheating. Emotional cheating is a topic in itself, but can be a dangerous game.

Attachment Style

Attachment style affects how people feel in close relationships and can make people insatiably hungry for more connection — in which case they might have to look outside the relationship for more.

The Laundry List of Why Women Cheat

Emotional Abandonment

Just because a spouse is physically present does not mean he is emotionally checked in, and for some women, that sort of abandonment can be worse. The urge to cheat can often emerge when women feel emotionally abandoned," most women cheat (or explain/justify their cheating) because their emotional needs were either not being met, or were perceived as not being met by their partner. They feel lonely, ignored, not paid attention to, etc. Most of the time the cheating was not premeditated; they realized how lonely or vulnerable they were once someone else started paying attention to them.

The Laundry List of Why Women Cheat


Many affairs can happen during pre-menopause when women experience an intense flash of sexuality, biologically explained as a last chance to procreate, an urgent, hormonal 'going out of business' sale,"

Intimacy Fears

Some people may be "scared of intimacy in a way that allows sexual desire to only be felt outside of a deep partnership, because there is too much closeness with a partner to feel safe merging through sex.

Power Play

Sometimes, a woman's decision to cheat is nothing more than a tactic to show her partner who's really in charge.

If your relationship is headed this way, it is critical to evaluate whether the partnership is flexible enough to allow for better compromise and shared decision-making.


As more women are financially independent, they are less dependent on their partners. This increases their testosterone levels and lowers their estrogen which is a hormone balance more similar to a man's," explained Gray. "This increased testosterone can increase her desire for sex with a stranger or a one night stand for fun. On the other hand, married women who are less financially independent will tend to have lower testosterone and higher estrogen. This balance increases her need and attachment to her partner."

To Spice Things Up

It's pretty normal for even the most exciting relationship to get a little boring every now and then, but some women are prepared to cross some pretty big lines to bring excitement back into their lives. Rhonda Milrad, founder and CEO of Relationup, says it's actually a reason many women cheat. "Some women feel that they have landed in a rut and that their life has become predictable and boring. A new relationship can seem like an exciting way to get a buzz," she explained. "The secretiveness, the sneaking around, the sexual passion can create a high with the release of all those feel-good hormones. These women often compartmentalize and tell themselves that this affair does not detract from their love for their partner.

In closing, most People believed that women would report that they were very unhappy or cheating for emotional reasons and sex was a distant, secondary issue. Generally, women are seen as the less sexual gender. Yes, we know women enjoy sex, but most people assume they don’t miss it the way men do. If a man goes days or weeks without sex, it’s assumed he’s going to explode. If the same happens to a woman, somehow it’s assumed she’ll keep busy and not actively miss it. Marital jokes are frequently about how little sex the husband is getting. And I think I read somewhere that given a choice between finding great shoes or having great sex, most women choose the shoes. Five hundred and five women from around the world say these assumptions are all wrong.

As humans both men and women are fallible. Remember never ever judge a book just by the cover.

The Laundry List of Why Women Cheat
52 Opinion