The Laundry List of Why Women Cheat

miamigirl1970
The Laundry List of Why Women Cheat

Men are not the only "cheating creatures on the planet." Women tend to cheat less, with only 15% acknowledging an affair in a current or previous relationship. While that's a fairly low number, it represents a 40% increase over the past two decades. Surprisingly, 68% of women said they'd green light an affair if there was no chance of their current partner finding out.

Most married folks like to pretend extramarital affairs just don't happen — or at least not in their houses. But the sad truth is affairs do happen. They're a lot more common than you might think, and women are almost just as likely to step out on their relationship as their male counterparts.

"Despite over 90 percent of Americans believing cheating is morally wrong, a 2015 study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy says 74 percent of men and 68 percent of women admit they'd have an affair if they knew they'd never get caught," said Michelle Crosby, relationship expert and founder of Wevorce. "Not such a wide gap between the sexes and an interesting revelation on the strength of morality in today's world."

Let's take a look at some of the reasons that have been offered up:

Emotional Cheating

Emotional cheating often leads to physical cheating, and even though the lines are blurred when dealing with 'emotional cheating. Emotional cheating is a topic in itself, but can be a dangerous game.

Attachment Style

Attachment style affects how people feel in close relationships and can make people insatiably hungry for more connection — in which case they might have to look outside the relationship for more.

The Laundry List of Why Women Cheat

Emotional Abandonment

Just because a spouse is physically present does not mean he is emotionally checked in, and for some women, that sort of abandonment can be worse. The urge to cheat can often emerge when women feel emotionally abandoned," most women cheat (or explain/justify their cheating) because their emotional needs were either not being met, or were perceived as not being met by their partner. They feel lonely, ignored, not paid attention to, etc. Most of the time the cheating was not premeditated; they realized how lonely or vulnerable they were once someone else started paying attention to them.

The Laundry List of Why Women Cheat

Pre-Menopause

Many affairs can happen during pre-menopause when women experience an intense flash of sexuality, biologically explained as a last chance to procreate, an urgent, hormonal 'going out of business' sale,"

Intimacy Fears

Some people may be "scared of intimacy in a way that allows sexual desire to only be felt outside of a deep partnership, because there is too much closeness with a partner to feel safe merging through sex.

Power Play

Sometimes, a woman's decision to cheat is nothing more than a tactic to show her partner who's really in charge.

If your relationship is headed this way, it is critical to evaluate whether the partnership is flexible enough to allow for better compromise and shared decision-making.

Money

As more women are financially independent, they are less dependent on their partners. This increases their testosterone levels and lowers their estrogen which is a hormone balance more similar to a man's," explained Gray. "This increased testosterone can increase her desire for sex with a stranger or a one night stand for fun. On the other hand, married women who are less financially independent will tend to have lower testosterone and higher estrogen. This balance increases her need and attachment to her partner."

To Spice Things Up

It's pretty normal for even the most exciting relationship to get a little boring every now and then, but some women are prepared to cross some pretty big lines to bring excitement back into their lives. Rhonda Milrad, founder and CEO of Relationup, says it's actually a reason many women cheat. "Some women feel that they have landed in a rut and that their life has become predictable and boring. A new relationship can seem like an exciting way to get a buzz," she explained. "The secretiveness, the sneaking around, the sexual passion can create a high with the release of all those feel-good hormones. These women often compartmentalize and tell themselves that this affair does not detract from their love for their partner.

In closing, most People believed that women would report that they were very unhappy or cheating for emotional reasons and sex was a distant, secondary issue. Generally, women are seen as the less sexual gender. Yes, we know women enjoy sex, but most people assume they don’t miss it the way men do. If a man goes days or weeks without sex, it’s assumed he’s going to explode. If the same happens to a woman, somehow it’s assumed she’ll keep busy and not actively miss it. Marital jokes are frequently about how little sex the husband is getting. And I think I read somewhere that given a choice between finding great shoes or having great sex, most women choose the shoes. Five hundred and five women from around the world say these assumptions are all wrong.

As humans both men and women are fallible. Remember never ever judge a book just by the cover.

The Laundry List of Why Women Cheat
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Browneye57
    Well here's the thing... hypergamy says a woman will try to make a man into an emotional support system and then loathe the person he becomes. This happens over and over and over. She then shuts down sexually, as women can actually do this because, let's face it, she's now bored to tears with this beta chump she has created, and just no longer gets the vag-tingles. For many they will go along like this indefinitely if they aren't strong enough to break out of the provisioning of what they have and strike out on their own. That's where the lack of sex complaints come from.

    Now it's highly likely if some good lookin' guy come along and pays attention to her and she thinks she's got a shot at something better than what she's got, she'll bail on the old marriage, or have the affair. Generally none of it works out very well, and the guy isn't likely going to really want all of her anyway, just her sex. He doesn't really want to support her like your husband is doing.

    Biologically women are not programmed for monogamy. Their true nature is to provide plenty of donor options to ensure the best chance of survival of her many offspring. So from the get-go she is highly likely to become bored out of her mind with just one man. Same deal, the desire spirals down and she begins to lose attraction, and the sex drops off.

    It really is up to the men, the burden of performance, if you will. They have to remain attractive, fit, income producing, be entertaining, and lead. If he doesn't, and doesn't remain the man she was originally attracted to, then their relationship is doomed.

    And same for the ladies, no frumpzilla - get off our butt and do your hair and makeup, put on some decent clothes and make yourself attractive. Love your man and stay attractive, respect him, feed him, and sex him, and he'll swim through shark infested waters to bring you lemonade.

    Oh, and 'emotional abandonment'? Uh, no. A man is not an emotional tampon - save that shit for your girlfriends. Seriously, a woman utters some 25k words a day and the men about 5K. And all her chatter is about how she feels. That's why she needs to have great girlfriends that she can chatter with. This is not what men are for and they do a shitty job of being your girlfriend. So just don't expect it and you won't feel 'abandoned'.
    Like 6 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Applause!

    • All I can say is...

      Thank God for Viagra

    • Browneye57

      The thing I hear over and over is the women cannot get their men to fuck them the way they like it. They're too fussy, too selfish, to quick, to _____fill in the blank. So you have to dominate them, fuck their brains out, make sure they are having grand mall seizures, and then they won't be so inclined to just fuck some guy that comes along cuz she's already well done.
      Of course, NAWALT - one of our favorite acro's (not all women are like that). Some are just down right repulsed by sex. Usually it's just the guy they're with - they're sick and tired of him so they want a different guy and the mating ritual.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • SovereignessofVamps
    I think women cheat more than guys IRL. It can be easier to find guys when you're female, so they're not afraid to go for it. I think women can have higher drives than guys also. I don't know, why so many think women are these innocent or always victimized people. It's ridiculous.
    LikeDisagree 7 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Ridiculous, because it's naive to believe women are so innocent, so you can get taken advantage of... And I feel offended. I'm female, and if a guy thinks I'm this naive person, then I hate that. I'm really not, and I can really want revenge or terrible things too.

    • Not to cheat ofc, but just... I'm human. I know it's a little off topic, but this annoys me so much.

    • singlebee

      Even you must be cheating then?

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

1137
  • coachTanthony
    Nice MyTake... I think that Predicable and Boring is inevitable in any relationship unless you have a plan of action to keep it exciting. Lets face it who has time for that once you have kids, jobs, and most of all keeping up with the Jones's. Sex what is that? That new Range Rover errrr soccer mom mobile isn't going to drive it self. I see parents more excited to throw on their Lululemons and go to little Jimmy's soccer game then little Jimmy himself. Then there is the polished dad with the ironed jeans and sweater having NOT been laid for 3 months handing out cucumber sammys to all the tots but somehow jimmy gets PB&J and Dad may get an hour to himself later on that day with a bottle of lotion. I digress... love the MyTake!
    Like 1 Person
    • Thank you. Many people judge and say so many things about this issue, but truthfully, it is real! Maybe every reason is only an excuse, but the pure and simple fact is that there are reasons, and maybe if more people understood them, both male and female would be able to make different choices... I don't know, thanks for the kuddos!!!

  • Hal2002
    And once again we revisit this female fantasy that men cheat more than women, when real science based research has proven that women cheat at the same rate as men do. Which is about one third of men in relationships, and one third or women in relationships.

    The thing with women is, what they consider cheating as. So if they don't consider something as cheating, they will say no if asked if they have or are cheating. So the old standardize tests that most of the called relationship experts uses are flowed, because women simply lie when answering them.

    When psychological based questionnaire are given to people, the results are always very different than the results they got from the same people when they used a standard questionnaire.

    Most women do not consider oral sex as sex, so if she performs oral sex on other men. As she does not consider it sex, she will answer no if asked if she has or is having sex outside her marriage. Yet considers it sex and cheating, if their s. o. was getting blow jobs from another woman.

    Most women do not consider it cheating, if they are having an affair with another woman. Yet would consider it cheating, if their s. o. was having an affair with another man.

    Women do not consider it cheating, if she does not have sex with the same guy when she steps outside her relationship. As their is no emotional attachment, she is not cheating on her s. o..

    I apologize for the generalization, of the use of the word women.



    I
    LikeDisagree 5 People
  • madhatters4
    i'd add insecurity/self esteem issues. i had a girlfriend who cheated on me repeatedly because she was incredibly insecure. she constantly need re-enforcement of her value so pretty much any time i wasn't around she was around another guy
    Like 1 Person
    • There were several more on lists I evaluated, and self esteem appeared every time at the bottom of the lists. What is sad is that the reasons are so many, I had to pick out "hot buttons" or the article would have went on forever, BUT with that said, I do totally agree. Some women have to "be validated" for whatever reasons!

    • gotcha. i imagine there are dozens of reasons that would explain why people cheat

    • singlebee

      I hope ex is living a miserable life seriously.. Such girls are pathetic

    • Show All
  • windknowsmyname
    Now days women cheat cause they know there's very little to lose and more to gain. They also has this nag that getting attention from a committed relationship bonding there emotions. This is for some not all. still tend to know from experience that girls now days can be complicatedly smart and unbearably illogical when the stakes are high.
    Like 4 People
  • annie2016
    This is true. May x before told me that his 3 xs was a married woman who is not satisfied with their husband due to some of them had jobs abroad and they even ask him out still even though they broke up already and their husband is with them. I think the temptation of cheating is bigger on the married woman than a single woman. Because married woman has a need to be satisfied by their husband. And they really tend to go to a bigger and better man.
    Like 1 Person
  • singlebee
    Thanks for this take!

    This is. Perfect reason why men today shouldn't get married to any women on this planet... it's completely useless thing... even relationships are useless.
    We men should just sleep around. your take just makes me want to do that even more... Cause I already don't trust women..

    Sad right? @Seneya
    LikeDisagree 6 People
    • singlebee

      But we all know that women who are outside India are women likely to cheat because of their culture in which they are raised... They are very promiscuous in their teenage stages... too

    • Seneya

      Indeed man! But you know all women are not like this. Some girls can seriously be whores without any reason. For this many men have stopped taking girls seriously thus breaking some good girls' hearts. You just have to be very cautious about choosing a proper girl.

    • singlebee

      @Seneya yeaa but it's very hard to know if the girl is right kinda girl...

    • Show All
  • peachblossomluck
    I knew a young woman, a stay at home mom. She'd cheat on her husband right under his nose. I was never sure why she did it. I could never get a concrete reason out of her. I think she felt like he took her for granted or something. That would make sense. The awful thing was, she ended up getting pregnant with the other guy's baby! The whole thing was a trainwreck.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • martyfellow
    so many women are 'free' these days. But mostly, in the US, free to sleep with the men with money and power to further their careers, or just for their own ego satisfaction. They don't feel free to have sex because of a sincere emotional attachment, any more than their mothers and grandmothers did.
  • AthleticMom
    postpartum depression, not all about me anymore so a friend ran back to poor dating habits = gals night out picking up waiters to bring home after flirting them to death, best if in military to party all night covertly
    LikeDisagree 2 People
  • capncool
    These reasons make sense, but they don't justify the act of cheating. Cheating is wrong no matter who does it. I think that if you ever feel the need to have sex with someone else you should first break things off with your partner... if you can't do that then you shouldn't do it at all.
  • DonRomeo
    Did you write this? It reads very well! As if its already been through a professional editor, for the most part!
    Like 3 People
  • ninja9898
    I feel like girls cheat more than those numbers, girls can cheat and are better at hiding it as well. They dont brag about it and do dumb things like guys do. They also dont like to admit to it so the numbers might not be as accurate. Women are just as horny as guys if not more, society just makes women not want to admit to it in front of other guys b/c guys and society will call them a slut
  • John_Doesnt
    Women really can do anything men can do: cheat and make excuses for it. Bravo ladies, bravo!
    Like 5 People
  • Kayla43
    Some women cheat, others like me do not. I've been cheated on but never in my life cheated on anyone. It's morally wrong and people like that are scum.
  • JustCallMeLeon
    I know some girls that actually cheated on their bf/hubbies. Plus I've had sex with one that was also in a relationship and I was not the only one she was banging outside her boyfriend. Sex is sex and we are just animals with a higher control over our emotions. I like this take. Serves right to aaaaall those girls posting all the time, bitching about guys being dicks etc. Lets see you fight the real statistics now ladies.
  • SvetlanaSavachenko
    My reason for cheating has always been I require more sex than any man can provide. I've lived with several men and they still couldn't keep me satisfied. I love sex and lots of it.
  • BruceJender
    I've had a few taken girls who have come onto me.

    Most of the time it's because they aren't getting the intimacy they want from their partners.

    If you just listen to them and repeat what they're saying, instead of trying to fix things for them, you'll create a bond... from there you can either smash or run for the hills!
  • Nik1hil
    So if I spot a few signs of the above in a women in relationship!..
    I can very easily tempt her into an affair!..
    Thanks for enriching my knowledge
    Like 1 Person
  • dmorgan1989
    Cheating... how i wish people would stop. I was hurt before by a girl i truly loved once. I just wish she would have told me, rather than go behind my back. It hurts like hell thinking about how i slowly opened my heart to her :'(
    Like 1 Person
    • Kit_Kat88

      That heart can seal up again because you know her real character and avoided being with her any longer.

    • #Kit_Kat88 that is so true, but in some ways i feel i lost my feeling for girls and i take pleasure in my career now

    • Kit_Kat88

      Don't force feelings but don't lose hope either. If focusing in your career is your main goal now, that'll help you cope emotionally while climbing the ladder lol.

    • Show All
  • lightbulb27
    Great thoughts. I agree with most ofit, a few things I hadn't thought of (e. g. power play).

    You've convinced me a Jewish guy I met is right... leave the woman at home with the kids:)!
    What a tough environment we have to live in. Womens "liberation"... freedom is now causing them to have more testosterone... while men are no longer being trained by men, but around more women... probably femanizing them. We're causing all kids of havoc in relationships and nature. But maybe that is part of the master plan of nature to balance out and to slow down reproduction so we don't capsize the planet with humans? God help us!

    Good subject of discussion with any mate I think.
    Like 1 Person
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