Search Results: losing a guy friend

I've been seeing a girl for almost five years and we're engaged. She went out with her friends to a club. I trusted her because she's never cheated or even flirted with other guys. She was also a virgin when we met so that means she'd be more loyal. Last year she told me she was pregnant and we decided to start a family together because we agreed at the beginning if the baby would be healthy we'd keep it.

This past Monday she had the baby but I said I needed a paternity test before I said I was the father because I wanted to be 100% sure because some girls lie to guys about being the father. She said she didn't mind if I really wanted a paternity test. I found out last night that the results showed I'm not the father.

I confronted her last night and she was crying saying she made a big mistake and had a one night stand at a club. She hoped it was mine but was afraid of losing me. She said she doesn't know at all who the father is and that it will be impossible to find out. She said she doesn't know what she'll do without me. She said she had a little too much to drink and wasn't thinking properly. She said she's been trying to make it up to me and show she loves me. I know she does and I still love her a lot but I don't know if I can stay after what she did. Her baby is white, with blonde hair and blue eyes, so that makes the situation a little better. I'm not racist but if she had a interracial baby then I would have left immediately because everyone would view me as a total cuck.

She's almost 21 so people might say she made a common mistake but cheating isn't a mistake even if its one night.

She really betrayed and hurt me, and what she did has sort of humiliated me. What do you think I should do in this situation? I told her last night I was calling off the wedding but I'd give it time to think about staying with her.

Ask guys what they understand about girls and relationships and most of them will eventually say that girls want their boyfriend to be their best friend. We understand that. You want your boyfriend to be closer than anyone else, to be your confidante, to be supportive and caring, to always be there for you. Yeah, we get that. And actually. . . many guys want the same thing in a girlfriend.

So, when your best male friend indicates that he is attracted to you, why do you automatically go to that instinctive, sub-cortical, knee jerk reaction: "But I don't want to take a chance on losing our friendship!" Do you know how lame that sounds to guys? Do you know how STUPID that sounds? And it actually makes some of us angry just to hear those lame words!

How often do you actually have a relationship in which your partner DOES become your best friend? If you feel some physical attraction to your male best friend, wouldn't that give you the best possibility of finding that boyfriend/best friend combination?

Or, is this "But I don't want to take a chance on losing our friendship!" line just a pathetic way of avoiding telling us that you aren't attracted and the idea of actually kissing us makes you want to vomit?