Why do I have bad taste in guys?

Okay, I am not sure my taste in guys is good at all, I have a type I like and yet each time it ends badly.

Why do I have bad taste in guys?

The first guy I was with, I really hate to talk about yet I am asking for advice so I have to be honest. I was with a guy that I met at a cousins wedding, he was a friend of someone in the grooms family. He saw me sat eating cake at a table alone he came over and asked me out. I was 19 years old and he was 24 years old. He asked me out, I liked he and said yes. I gave him my number. 4 months later, he told me he had gotten into accident, where he had hit a drunk guy, that had walked out in front of his car. He told he couldn't stop in time. Yet forgot to mention that he was under the influence of drugs at the time. He also forget to mention he had plenty of time to stop as he had seen the guy stagger on to the road. He didn't he decided to try and swerve to go around the guy. He miss calculated and hit the guy. He then decided to drive away and leave the guy there to die. The guy died from his injury in hospital. He got 6 months in prison for reckless driving and severed just 3 months. When I was talking to him about it, he showed on signs of remorse at all. He just sat there complaining, that if that guy had waited on the sidewalk, until the green man showed he would have had to go to jail. I was thinking like you killed a man, he might have family. They are now suffer because of you and you only care about yourself. I broke up with him. I wish I had never met him because, I still have nightmares about that day. He told me he had a violent temper, I wasn't sure what he met, but I would soon find out. I had just broken up with him and I though that was the end of it. I was wrong. I was walking home from my cousin house and a guys hand clasped over my mouth and I as I was trying to get away I felt another hand on my waist. I was dragged backwards into car and the door was closed behind us. He forgot to lock the door. Which I was smart enough to remember. Their were 2 other guys their too. 1 of the guys was driving which make sense, since he was banned from driving for 3 years. He was 21 when he got banned, so he only had a few months and he would be able to drive again. I don't really want to tell this part, but I have to tell someone. I never told my family or anyone else what happened before I escaped. I was still in his grip and try to break free. This only made he horny, he pulled me into straddling him, he then reached his hand up my shirt and push my bra upwards exposing my breast. I didn't want thing like this happen to me. I kept trying to get out. He put his head closer to my shirt and start biting and sucking. I have to admit if I wasn't in this kind of predicament, I would have enjoyed it, I started to realise if I didn't get out, I would be losing my virginity in the back of a car. I was so scared, that I remembered that someone had was told me kneeing a guy in between the legs hurts. I was hoping it was true. I waited until the car had to stop for traffic. When it had stopped I knee and pushed open the door enough to get out and I ran to a passerby and asked them to take me to a police station. They did and I got a restraining order against him.

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The second guy was different he seemed nice, I was 21 years old at this time and decide to take a chance on another guy after the first guy. The second guy was only interested in sex. I was with him for 1 month and 2 weeks and 3 days, and in that time he attacked me on three occasion. We had a good relationship apart from him hurting. He would get angry with me for no reason other than, he couldn't control me. He wanted me to dress a certain way all the time. He wanted me to revel my body more. As in wear very little, when I asked him why he always said, he wanted easy access. Still don't know what he meant. I refused to dress in skimpy clothes. For I guy I just met. Anyway, the first time he hit me, he was trying to take of my bra while we were on a crowd street, I stopped him by grabbing his hand pushing it out of my shirt. He grabbed my hand so hard and backed me into the nearest wall, he ended up kicking me, when I struggle to escape. I had tears in my eyes at this point telling him to let me go and it was over. He let go and said he was sorry, he said if I gave he another chance he would be the nice guy I always wanted. I gave him a second another chance, the second time he hit me was when I was playing with him. Were where playing with ice and he was holding the ice on my breast and I dropping it into my bra. I placed a bit of ice on his cheek and dragged it across his face he grabbed my hard so hard the ice was crushed in my hard and I had ice burns on my hand. I convinced me it was my fault and I had provoked him. I end giving it another try. This time he took me to a secluded spot, and at first I was into making out with him, he lifted up my shirt so he could suck them, after this he took out his phone and took a picture of my breast, I told him to delete it he, grabbed my arm and push me up against a ledge, where he slapped me, telling me that if I don't behave he'd hurt me even more. I was upset that he had hit me. So I used my force and pushed him away from me and ran. I broke up with him after that over text. He kept trying to convince me that he was a great guy. But in 1 month and 2 weeks and 3 days he hurt me 3 times. We had just met too I wasn't sure I wanted to stick around for more abuse. As, this is how our relationship started. I just didn't want it to end with me dead.

If you have any advice on how to date and pick good guys, please help me. I need to learn this, I find it difficult to trust myself now. I would like some advice. Thank you all for reading about my relationships. I didn't mean it for to be this long. It seemed short in my head. Also The pictures are not the pictures of my ex's, this my take thing say to put pictures and so I did. Thank you again for reading this you are all kind people.


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Most Helpful Guys

  • you are a quality girl and wise and strong to get out of those imho. I keep meaning to write an article on this, would be helpful. I understand some of it. The common themes above are they are aggressive, angry? and controlling.

    Realize... you are attracting these guys, and sayng yes because it feels ok. Well... why does it feel ok:)... answer...

    attraction is sub conscious... that emotional feeling... it is emotion... deep within. It is familiarity! Did you see this kind of behavior as a child, was it "normal"... even if it felt bad? By your age, you are wired up, instantaneous emotional reactions that says..."normal".., we may be the wrong stuff that isn't good for you. At a minimum, the first incident mirrored the second.

    that said, there are a lot of screwed up guys to pick from. do you see "calm", well mannered, respectful, disciplined men your age around you? At church? Neerdy, shy, etc? attracted to them?:)

    So you need to get to where you broadcast a different energy emotionally, are better at perceiving the traits that work well for you... not just attracted to and shooting them down faster, going for what is better. won't be easy. options:
    * Journaling, emotional healing, self development
    * go to other places to find guys where there may be higher number of those who have character that matches yours

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    • Well even though my parents don't talk about it, I know my uncle use to beat my auntie. Parents must think kids are dumb. I saw the bruise and her tears. As she would tell my grandma what happened. His kids also got a beating for small things, that most parents wouldn't just give a warning for.

      But, these guys came from abusive home. So I though I could help. I was wrong. I can't go out with a guy just because I feel sorry for him.

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    • yep, follow.

    • Okay, done.😊

  • You’re being blinded by how these look, not paying attention to signs of their personality that can equate to bad things.

    Think with your head, not your vagina

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    • I didn't date the because of looks. I date them because the were manipulative, and they made me laugh and convinced me the were great guys.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'm not sure what type of guys you like, but you are right. You always choose the worst type of guys. The guys that abuse and have no respect for women. The worst thing is that you always can't seem to recognize it until it's too late.
    For your first boyfriend, the moment he was sent to jail, you should have broken up with him. He's a lousy excuse for a human being.
    For your second boyfriend, the moment he wanted you to dress in skimpy clothing, you should have left him. But you waited till he hurt you not once, but three times. Then you decided to left him because you fear for your life.
    You are extremely naive and gullible. The moment things seemed off, it should have been a warning sign for you to leave.
    I think your focus should not be on how to choose good guys, but on how to love and respect yourself. You seemed to have some long-time issues with abuse encountered when you were younger. Maybe that's why you always gravitate towards these shady characters. Go and get help and some professional counselling.

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    • I always go out with guys that seem really desperate. I feel bad toward them to say no. I feel kind of guilty about it. Anyway, you are right I should have recognised and dumped the guys a lot sooner. Yet, both guys by the time I broke up with them, had told me about how the grew up in abusive homes, when they were younger. I gave them chances, because they seemed like they need some stability to help them get over their pasts. I was a fool back then, and very naive. I fell for everything they said. The first guy was really creepy, he had been watching me for a few years waiting to make his move. I only know this, because to get a restraining order, the police have to prove he is dangerous. They got a warrant to search his home and found picture of me. I am just so lucky that he is out of my life. I went to counselling, the lady told that my mental health was good. I want 2 others and they told me the same. I could try a self help group, what do you think?

    • You could try self help groups. I think they would be a real good boost to your confidence.
      And don't be afraid to say no and fight for yourself. Remember, you don't own anyone anything. You don't have to feel guilty or responsible for others bad past

    • Thank you. I will move forward.

  • Try to get to know the person before start dating. Also maybe trying to know some of his friends through social media? You would be surprised how many guys help and advise their friend's girl behind their backs to help them. This happens when even they know that this dudes are shitty.

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    • Thank you. I will take any advice. I want to make better choose.

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    • Thank you. It did help. I feel like I have grown a little wiser.

    • I'm glad :)

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What Guys Said 9

  • I'm sorry to hear what happened but you. My only advice I can give you is be careful dating guys and take more time to fully know them and don't rush being in a relationship. I hope you find a good guy one day. It will take time. Don't give up hope.

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    • Thank you. I haven't give up. I am just not sure how to pick a good guy.

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    • Thank you. I will wait.

    • Your very welcome.

  • That baffles my mind that a guy would want to physically hurt his girl.

    Regarding finding a good guy, screening them by their personality instead of how hot they are may help.

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    • Well, the first guys father went to prison for stabbing his wife. Who luckily survived, but his mother dropped the charges against her husband. He grew up in a bad home. I felt sorry for him, making excuse for him. Yet, I realised that he had no heart, when he blamed his victim for his punishment. I really don't like talking about him. I left about a novels worth of stuff out. But at least that is why I think he did want he did to me. Second guy, I know he got into a lot of trouble with the law, for stealing. His dad was a drunk, use to get and beat his 2 sons and wife. Since he was the oldest, he got the worst of it. Even though things got better for their families, the scars remain.

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    • Thank you. This helped a lot.

    • You're welcome. Good luck : )

  • Obvious mistake is you’re sticking with these guys, when they already show to be complete morons. One kills a guy... you stick with him. One beats you... you stick with him.

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    • Thank you. I want stick with them anymore. If a guy is no good. I will leave. Thank you.

  • If you learnt about female nature and attraction then you might realise why you feel attracted to wrongins.
    How to be a 3% man is a good book that will show you

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    • Thank you. I will read that book. I hope it helps.

  • dating him for a while with out sex usaual get the trash gone

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    • I have never had sex with either of them. The first guy didn't want to have sex with me, I asked him after 3 months and he said know. The second guy hit me, after 1 week into our relationship. I did want to have sex with him until, I trusted him again.

  • Maybe don't let them come to you.

    Look at their actions before making a decision you can tell easily whether a guy is responsible or a douche.

    If you let them come to you this limits your own choice in the matter.

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  • Uh... okay

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  • Because you have bad taste in guys

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  • TL’DR
    If you have a set type of guy and all those type of guy are assholes, then stop pricking those type of guys. It isn’t a hard concept.

    If I had a thing for red heads and all red heads I dated were absolute thunder cu*ts, I would avoid red heads.

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What Girls Said 9

  • I don't think you have bad taste in guys, it's just that bad boys have a certain 'aura' that draws women in. Sadly, there isn't any ways or telltale signs instantly to spot them, all you can do is RUN FOR THE HILLS at ANY form of ABUSE, be it mental, physical, verbal...

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    • Thank you. That is nice of you to say.

  • I’m sorry to hear that but I dont think that it’s your fault that the guys end badly. Some people just aren’t what they seem after you pick them and some people just end up picking bad guys. I myself pick bad guys as well

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    • Many girls your age, think with their genitals instead of their brains, and choose the wrong guys repeatedly.

      At least you’re doing some dating and getting this experience early! In your 20s you’ll be a lot wiser in dating 👍🏾

    • Thank you. I know, but I feel like I should have made better choose.

  • You need to set higher standards for yourself when it comes to what guys you date

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    • I will do. Thank you.

  • Watch the video " How to Fix Your Relationships ft. The Rewired Soul " and fill out the work sheets.

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  • Did you try add salt? Jk sometimes when finding the right one you gotta get through the bad ones.

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  • :) nice mytake...

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    • Thank you. I just wanted to know if my taste in guys is bad, and what I can do about it.

  • I always make sure they come from good families. If they act like savages, it's because their parents did not teach them any better.

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  • why would you give them a second chance? i would never give any pig a second chance.

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    • They had abusive past, so I felt guilty, when they begged me not to leave.

  • issues. damaged goods is damaged.

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