Search Results: scared of the future

I met a girl a couple years older than me indirectly because she laughed loudly and at great length and one of my jokes. She asked me to repeat it to her and smiled the whole time. She waited to scare me and looked me in the eyes and she's smiling. She started butting in my conversations to laugh at stuff I say, ask me to repeat stuff to her or respond to stuff I say. Builds off what I say to other people to try to have a conversation with me then does the scaring thing after we talk. She seems to do the stuff younger girls do when flirting but she's 17. While talking she gets red has a big smile and doesn't look me in the eyes, hiding her face. Laughs at half funny stuff I say in conversation. Blushes when I say hi. I saw her said hi she couldn't look me in the eye smiles and says hi. She saw me in a room and smiled and waved to me. Her asks me to play around with the girl tell her jokes and stories chase her around. Her friend asked me to be around them and she had an attitude seemed embarrassed but still wanted to talk to me and be closer. They took turns with selfies next to me and when it was her turn asked me to get closer and after that her friend wasn't next to me in pictures. She asks me to get closer for every picture. The one time she wore something nice that showed a little cleavage her friend came and got me for a picture to sit next to her she blushed. She says my name a lot. When we talk she wants a picture with me or scares me. Her or her friend send me the pic for me to post she likes it then tells me in person she likes it. She liked a picture with my dad tagged in it showing on his notifications then told me in person she likes it. Verbally teases me. She finds any way to compliment me she'll compliment a new shirt I got, haircut. She can't start a conversation very well she stands around and tries to approach and has her friend with her. Her friend can't talk to me and I can't talk to her. She randomly asked me how much I'm taller than my dad by

Be honest, because I know that now that I'm recovering from an eating disorder I'm gonna become much less attractive and I've been fat before (hopefully I never get nearly that bad again but with the way I eat I'm scared) my mom always says "personality matters a lot" but my close female friends always talk about dudes bodies whether it be guys with their abs and such or guys who "have such a great personality but need to lose some weight" or "have potential if they fixed their acne" or "are so sweet but so ugly" and I myself have a hard time approaching girls as it is but once I become ugly it'll be even harder and I'm afraid of being alone forever because although I've messed around some now while I was attractive now that I'm recovering and ugly I'll never have that again and probably never find love in the future