I am a Bisexual Male Christian Who is in the Closet...Diversify Your Perspective!

I grew up in a christian background. My mother and father are both pastors of a church. My brother is also a pastor of a church and I grew up in church my entire life. I am your stereotypical choir boy that turned out to be bisexual. I am writing this mytake in an attempt to at least diversify the opinions of men and women when it comes to bisexual men because there is still so much stigma surrounding being a bisexual male that I feel as if it isn't safe for me to come out.

I am a Bisexual Male Christian Who is in the Closet...Diversify Your Perspective!

American society doesn't allow for men to be bisexual due to societal double standards. Most people would ostracize me if I came out. Many women find bisexual men disgusting and many men dislike the notion of being around a bisexual male. Granted, I have noticed a heart warming amount of women and men that accept me for who I am and for those women and men that do accept me for who I am, I notice you and I love you.

I am a Bisexual Male Christian Who is in the Closet...Diversify Your Perspective!

I recently met a guy online that I find so incredibly attractive in every way possible that it isn't even funny. I don't find most men attractive and most women attractive in general. However, the man that I met has an almost identical personality to me and looks stunning. I truly see a future with this person. However, I am scared that one day when him and I go out in public and hold hands or kiss that we will be attacked or ostracized by the court of public opinions for being bisexual. I truly see a future in which I could potentially end up loving this guy. However, if I come out to my parents about him, they will most likely never talk to me again.

I am a Bisexual Male Christian Who is in the Closet...Diversify Your Perspective!

I want all of the men and women on GAG to know that there are so many bisexual and gay men out there that haven't come out for similar reasons to mine. I am telling my story because if I don't then you women and men will never know about it. I have to say something otherwise we will never achieve true equality in the LGBT community.


Most Helpful Girls

  • We love you I understand what your saying
    Be ready to cut ties if you come out you seem to understand well hopefully if you do they can get over it in time and realize it's fine


Most Helpful Guys

  • Come out of the closet and live your life

    Nothing wrong with being bisexual

  • We do accept you. Don't care what people think


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What Girls Said 49

  • Okay.

    • What's that suppose to men?

    • Show All
    • Lmao fraudian slip dude

    • Please explain how you can have all these Christian pastors in you life, and be raised in a Christian environment and yet reject what the Bible say - that laying with someone of the same sex is an abomination to God. You want to get the meal but apparently don't want the gravy. God is not locked. Whatever you do you will be accountable for on the Day of Judgement.

  • . I know you believe in Christ but he also wants the best for you and He knows that lying with a man is wrong and not of God. Don't reject your first love ( Christ) over lust, but continue to understand how much Jesus loves you till this day as your alive.
    Also if you personally had feelings for men, the bible says to renew your mind. I learned at church today that if you want to control your emotions change your thinking, according to his word, and if you want to control your thinking, also change what your exposed to. And as you turn away from that thinking, God says He will help change you to follow whats good. Philippians 2:13: “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.” but choose to to sin and renew your mind, as a loved child of God.
    Romans 12:2 "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect" :)

  • I'm a christian and am totally for gay rights. We need to understand that the Bible is not as completely timeless as we would like to believe.
    The Bible never condemned slavery but instead told people how to live with it.
    The Bible told women who were raped to marry their rapist because during those times a woman could not be married if she was no longer a virgin. Those days women were like property and husbands were picky on the type of property she was.
    The Bible said that if a woman was out in public on her menstrual cycle she would have to be killed.
    The Bible mentions that you are to be murdered if you do not recognise the sabbath.
    People don't realise that virgin Mary was about 12 years old when she married Joseph and Joseph is thought to be a widower aged between 70-90.
    Abraham and Sarah were siblings. They had the same father different mothers.
    Many christians might argue with this saying that this stuff is no longer practiced because it is the "old covenant". But lets get real and acknowledge that even Jews do not practice the above. The main reason most of this stuff is no longer practiced is because someone learnt to love their neighbour and saw their life to be more valuable than a rule. Human rights are very important in our society today and the above would violate a lot of human rights.
    The one law that cancels every law is "Love your neighbour as you love yourself." Once you do that, the way you see gay people or bisexuals is different. They are consenting adults who are not abusing human rights. Just because I don't understand much about being gay/bi does not mean I should treat them in a different light. Love is very important and we need to have it in us to understand others.

  • As a bisexual women I wish there were more bisexual men! I hate the stigma against us bis and bi men definitely have it worse... it took me a long time to be comfortable with my sexuality and to this day only my partner and close friends know. Just know you're not alone! Stay strong, love and dont let anyone make you feel bad for who you are

    • Yeah, there is still a stigma against bisexual men. However, a lot of the stigma is changing. In the next ten years bisexual men could be more accepted. More men and women seem to have accepted me on here than I thought would. Thank you for surporting me because not everyone does as you can see in the comments.

    • Correction- supporting

    • No problem! We all gotta stick together! :)

  • I am a lesbian who is a Christian. Getting married soon

    Just be happy of who you are

    • Look at how many down votes you are receiving. This is my point. Society seems to hate us.

    • Online haters who are jealous that I am getting married to a beautiful smart woman

  • If you really believe in the Bible, it says that " people that practice such things ( like homosexuality) you will not inherit the Kingdom of God. That means that you have not forsaken the life style and still do it. God said homosexuality is an abomination. God says that, not me.

  • Be yourself and do not care what the haters say

    Being bisexual is normal, and most people in the western world have no issues with it

    • It feels like many people have an issue with it in the United States.

    • Show All
    • Many people are low i. q in the states

    • @Wowgirl10q Mostly the southern states where Education is at it's lowest and Poverty is at it's highest as a result.

      Unfortunately, there is a trend of the South "Rising Again" which is alarming to anyone who hasn't been taking advantage of the south's ignorance.

  • Definitely a double standard, but you know what? Be yourself. Be who you want to be and love who you want to love. If your parents don't agree, who cares, they don't control you or your life. If your friends diss you, turn your back and find better people.
    And this is not just for you, also for whoever reads this message, in whatever situation you find yourself.

    • The only way to change the double standard is for more men to come out about it. I may be considered disgusting now but in the future if enough men come forward, it will one day be considered normal.

    • There will always be someone who finds you disgusting, just gotta learn to say f them and move on with your life. No use crying over them :/

  • I think the best thing to do is to come out to your family. Honesty is usually the best option, and with time they may come to accept it.

    • They may also disown me and ostracize me.

    • I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I faced a similar problem when I came out to my family. If you think that telling them will put you in physical danger then please do not do it. But I still stand by my choice to tell them even if now they think differently of me.

  • I have a similar background, binen and raised in church, I know the expectations. I am straight, though.
    Listen. You will have to be prepared for the first reaction of your parents/family. They most likely will reject you. But in the end they will accept you for who you are. I’ve seen it many times. It may take them years but it will eventually happen. Hang in there. They want to see you happy... because they love you. Show them that you are happy. And be brave. I send you a big big hug.

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What Guys Said 56

  • OMG just live your life bro.. quit trying to make your lifestyle a problem for everyone else. I can't stand when people get on their high horse because STRANGERS who mean nothing to them by the way have issues with your lifestyle. The best revenge is a life well lived not a life of fear and anger.

  • I was in a similar situation like you years ago and felt the same way, however I did not have what seems like overly judgmental parents as it sounds like to you. I am bisexual myself and for a while was insecure about my feelings and knowing that I was "supposed to" be falling for and lusting for just sexy women, but being drawn towards sexy men in he same way.

    You're situation isn't all too different the way you describe any societal issues with bisexual men. Women would get thumbs up and cheers for making out and felt the double standard. I partially came out when I found myself in a similar situation with my first boyfriend years ago and surprisingly most didn't care and were accepting. I just let my attraction to whomever I saw, lead me into who I'd seek out a relationship with which was scary. Though people thought I was GAY for a while and couldn't really explain to people that I was bisexual, which did cause a couple girls to reject an opportunity at dating me, though beyond that I have not received any major criticism over what my orientation is today. You sound like a wonderful person and respect what you are saying!

  • This is a good myTake because it has great intentions. You want to let others know they're not alone. You are also trying to take on the identity of those who have inspired you, and be a person who inspires others.
    That's fantastic.

    I would offer this advice, but only if you'd want it. I know you didn't ask for it.

    You have a choice. I suggest you make one.

    First, most obvious. Come out to them. You probably have a good idea of their reaction. Anticipate it.

    Remove yourself from the Church and Community. Cut your family out of your life completely.
    If you think they can't either support you, or be quiet about it, cut them out before you come out. You're going to have to anyways.

    You can save yourself a lot of heartache with the latter. If you choose to remove them from your life, you're taking control. You're liberating yourself from an environment that's toxic before that toxicity occurs. You save yourself a lot of bad feelings this way.

    Then, work on coming out and being comfortable with yourself. You don't need toxicity while you share your identity with others, especially one that you take pride in and clearly defines a portion of your life.

    It's difficult to remove your family from your life. But if they cannot just accept it and be quiet, you were going to have to anyways. If you want that happy life with your significant other, you need to commit to making the environment for the two of you a healthy, happy and supportive one.

    • If he didn't ask why you talking

    • Show All
    • I don't like judgmental people it's irrational

    • I feel he would ask if he cared

  • I don't approve of this thread or the picture it upsets me

  • Stop right there. Mother? So... everything about headship mentioned in 2 Timothy is treated with contempt by your congregation? That's mistake #1.

    "Bisexual" is just a fancy term invented the prop up Kinsey mythology. Medical fact, you weaken your immune system, rather than strengthen it, through same sex lust interaction.

    Your desires can and will lie to you. Re-read Jeremiah. Chapter 17 in particular.

    Love for another man means honoring the vocational destiny of his biology, and not trying to treat it like the opposite of what it is to fancy some exotic, wayward craving.

    And watch out with that LGBTQPIZ political lobby: they're most deceitful of all. They're not your friends. They're cultural Marxists using wayward desire as a battering ram to make sure no one ever gets married the correct way, and never as an act of obedience to God, and never as a means to serve him.

    They want marriage to be for selfish reasons only, to be rare, and to never involve man and woman except to the bare minimum required to sustain a future for civilization. Otherwise never for procreation and always for recreation.

    They want promiscuity and one night stands the norm, and for the government machine to raise children, not parents.

    In groups like Antifa, they are already turning to domestic terrorism. Floyd Corkins was just a warm-up.

    If your church won't tell you these truths to prevent your soul from dying, then the Spirit is not in that church. You're in danger. Find another - before the Satancrats drive the true church underground the way Buddhist extremists in Nepal drove all Nepalese Christendom deep underground.

    My sister is a counselor for troubled kids. Many were molested, and would love to be rid of their same sex intrusive thoughts. The state of Wisconsin by law now forbids her to help them, because the LGBTQPIZ lobby got it's way. They want to drag these kids into their underworld of darkness.

    Treating of SSA makes that harder to do. "Law"makers put kids in danger to appease these evil activists, who now openly demand pedophile acceptance.

    Instead of insisting other diversify their desires, the Spirit can transform your own away from deception-- if you allow him to.

    It'll be like pulling teeth, but it'll be worth it. The Old Adam will resist, and you'll feel it kicking your brain to resist. He deserves to lose, always. You are not yet without hope. Find someone you trust.

  • Reported. I don’t want to see that on the front page. Take your sins out of my face

  • My cousin is a Homosexual man who teaches 5th graders in the Catholic school he grew up in.

    If he can manage to teach in a highly religious school while being open about his sexuality. I am pretty sure you can open up without worry.

    • The reality is though that there aren't many instances of that.

  • firstly I must point out that whatever anyone's orientation is, they should never be ashamed of who they are..
    dont hide from those around you, as they maybe able to support you through what you are experiencing...

    obviously though I cannot comment on what you are going through though as I have never had any feelings of that nature for guys, but have had quite a few friends who were gay/bi etc... and 3 bi gf's and have seen the struggle one of those have with family members, her mother really wouldn't understand, and she believes would react quite badly.. personally I believe she would be ok with everything... people just need to be given a chance in being trusted enough that anyone who is choosing to disclose such personal news about themselves has taken such effort and risk to choose them... you would be surprised at how many would appreciate and respect that...

    but also be aware that you should follow your heart and choose the time when you are ready, sitting down with who you want to tell is the mature way and would be mostly the best way... obviously to some more old fashioned or backward even though who aren't as educated about the subject at hand might need to have some time to mentally digest what you are about to tell them.. so relaying the message to them face to face, but in a clear and adult manner would be your best choice, answer questions as there are always questions in any situation.. put yourself in their shoes for a moment, how would you like to be told if you were in their position

    hope this helps and good luck

  • I'm a Conservative Presbyterian who has come to believe that homosexuality and bisexuality is a Psychiatric or Physiological issue, probably something where some wires are crossed someplace, that God for some reason meant you to have. You can't help it, so make the most of it, so tell your family. Your family might be upset at first but will eventually forgive you. Jesus already has.

  • Not listen to the haters

    They might be secretly gay themselves

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