Search Results: good intentions

When I was in highschool, I took science stream. I did well when I was primary school and ended up being in a science-focused highschool. Long story short, I did terribly bad at the 3 main science subjects which are Addmath, Chemistry and Biology in the big, last, final examination in my final senior year. I got E for those 3 subjects which was nearly failed.

The thing is, now that I am older, whic is 20 year old now and currently 21, considering we're now 2021 (happy new year guys). I felt liked I never really moved on from the past of didn't succeeded in those subjects. I always caught up myself picking up those exercise books and saying to myself that I wanted to do those exercise, which was no good afterall.

One of the reason I think I never really moved on is because my late dad used to be very proud of me being into science school and such. I can sense it. He used to say he respect the doctors and looked highly at them. (Which gives a teenage me pressure to succeed in those subjects, to which, doesn't end well like I mentioned earlier) When I got the result he was obviously really disappointed in me. It was in 2017

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Now I am currently doing my diploma in Logistics. My dad had passed away in 2019 due to chronic disease. I still catching myself picking up those exercise books and having the intention to do them. I never really good at them. I think for a fact that I used to be a daddy's girl and I disappoints him in that manners made me now to have difficulty in letting go the past. Now, I have some few options.

1) Study them
2) let go of them and just move on

Option 1: if I do that, then what? What am I supposed to do with all those knowledge? I mean, that big examination has passed long ago back in 2017.

Option 2: I don't know. If I just merely let go of them just like that, I feel like there will be a void inside of me, I don't know.

What should I do?

So, I believe that men should lead, and women should submit. And I don’t mean it in a control type of way... like when I say submit I mean like showing him you trust him to protect and give good direction in your life.. not control it. And being loyal to that man..(while he’s loyal too of course) and I don’t mean submit to a man with bad intentions.. like If he’s trying to control/abuse you etc.. I think the idea of submitting has nothing to do with controlling someone.. unless it’s a guy that had bad intentions. If it’s good intentions, It’d be more of being a protector and helping her succeed... Like submitting to the right man, with good intentions. Should make you feel safe.. not trapped and controlled. You can be your own person, make your own decisions on things and still submit to a man you love and trust..