Is it okay for friends to kiss?

Question

I was thinking about this in the shower the other day, and found it interesting how there are different levels to gestures. A hand shake, a hug, a kiss on the cheek, then the lips, and ultimately close contact that leads to sex. Why do these gestures exist? Maybe Its how we express care, sympathy, acknowledgment of another person and communicating to them the level of relationship you share with them. It got me thinking, If these gestures are how we express care for another person, why is a kiss, or even worse, sex with a friend seen as a bad thing? I know the purpose of sex is to procreate, but it also is one of the most intimate acts two humans can have with one another and ultimately it shows something. It shows the ultimate level of attention, care, dedication to another person. I mean, that's why when someone cheats its seen as a disloyal act. You can't have two favorites, one will always be lesser. How will the lesser feel knowing the other has the majority of attention/care/dedication? To me, this is why in a committed relationship cheating just shows lack of care to stay committed to a partner, and ultimately makes one feel abondoned because there is no other gesture that expresses attention/care/dedication more than sex.

Back to the kissing topic, I think since all these acts are a form of expressing different levels of care, why not express your care for a friend in the form of a kiss? it does not share the same level as the gesture of sex, and If its done with the intention of showing that you care for someone wouldn't that be a good thing? Would it ruin a friendship? is it ok to have a friend that is that close/ expresses that level of care with another friend? is it only okay if the two people are single?

Thanks in advance!

serious · Accepted Answer

I will reply in parts:

1. “I was thinking about this in the shower the other day, and found it interesting how there are different levels to gestures. A hand shake, a hug, a kiss on the cheek, then the lips, and ultimately close contact that leads to sex. Why do these gestures exist?”

Okay, first of all only a hand shake is a gesture, the rest are methods and physical actions that shows love and affection in one way or another. Sex? Well that is a different thing altogether and yes is one way of showing physical and sexual love towards one another.

Hand shake is done when people are meeting each other first time or even while bidding goodbye

A hug, anyone can hug anyone. Even acquaintances can hug anyone, it shows that they know each other well enough. Next is kiss on the cheek, mostly that is between friends and when the children are small parents kiss their kids on their cheeks in order to show they are cute and lovely to them.

Kiss on the lips is between romantic partners, between boyfriend/girlfriend and spouses etc and yes that is one of the ways to show love.

Sex is an intimate thing and that happens in exclusive relationships and marriage.

2. Maybe Its how we express care, sympathy, acknowledgment of another person and communicating to them the level of relationship you share with them. “

Yes.

3. It got me thinking, If these gestures are how we express care for another person, why is a kiss, or even worse, sex with a friend seen as a bad thing? I know the purpose of sex is to procreate, but it also is one of the most intimate acts two humans can have with one another and ultimately it shows something. It shows the ultimate level of attention, care, dedication to another person.

Well, of course they are good but then one should know when these things are appropriate and when they are not. For example in my view it is not at all appropriate if a man in a relationships gives a kiss on the cheek of his best female friends, that would be inappropriate even if it a kiss on the cheek only. Hence it is about a person knowing when to do these things and when not to do it and to completely refrain from it.

About sex? Well Although I know quite a lot about that but I will refrain from saying more because to me SEX is something that is outright disgusting and everything related to that is also disgusting to me. I don’t care if the whole world glorifies it

4. “I mean, that's why when someone cheats its seen as a disloyal act. You can't have two favorites, one will always be lesser. How will the lesser feel knowing the other has the majority of attention/care/dedication? To me, this is why in a committed relationship cheating just shows lack of care to stay committed to a partner, and ultimately makes one feel abondoned because there is no other gesture that expresses attention/care/dedication more than sex.”

Yes. That is correct.

5. Back to the kissing topic, I think since all these acts are a form of expressing different levels of care, why not express your care for a friend in the form of a kiss? it does not share the same level as the gesture of sex

Yes of course it is fine as long as it is either a forehead kiss or a kiss on the cheek only.

6. “and If its done with the intention of showing that you care for someone wouldn't that be a good thing? Would it ruin a friendship? is it ok to have a friend that is that close/ expresses that level of care with another friend? is it only okay if the two people are single?”

Yes that is correct, non-sexual form of kisses and affection does show your love and care for the other person and yes it should only be done when two people are single and with no ulterior motive in mind.

Yes it is great thing and won’t ruin the friendship as such.

Gedaria · Accepted Answer

Yes, it's a complicated thing. Like I spend a lot of time in France. There customs are different to mine like kissing on the cheek this happens to both sexes.
It took me a long time to get use to a guy kissing me on the cheek.
Like Jamaican woman , a wife of s friend , she does a full kiss on the lips.
But some people love kissing I know I do it's a great way to show affection.
This what I miss with this vivid. No touching...

CurlyGirl42 · Accepted Answer

I think kissing could easily be more of a friendly gesture.. it is already in some cultures I believe, and it is for example very normal to share kisses with your children.
I personally kiss some of my family members, and it is all about love and care. I also kissed some of my female friends, a bit more in a silly way at parties and so, but sure also because I care about them and want to show affection.
Sex is way different to me, not in the way of caring and dedication, but the sexual aspect. You do need to be turned on to have at least good sex xD you do not need to be turned on to feel a warm kiss from someone you love in a different way.
If I was dating someone and they were kissing their friends I would probably ask about it, and if it looks and feel entirely friendly, then I will not have a problem with it.

BeeNee · Accepted Answer

Assuming you're not in a country where kissing is already a form of greeting, I'd say for the most part no. I've never in my entire life kissed or been kissed by a guy or a girl I considered a friend, nor have I ever had any sort of wish for this to happen. We hug all the time in greeting, and that's about as close as we get, but there is just too much that could go wrong with a kiss in terms of how others perceive it no matter how you explain it and rationalize that it's just to and from a friend. But you have your own relationships with your own people and if others are cool, like any other greeting we do in life, as long as the other person is comfortable with it, then it isn't or shouldn't be a big deal.

AlienParasite · Answer

French kissing or any kissing that involves exchange of saliva has clearly sexual connotations culturally and biologically. The biological reasons why it's sexual is because when we exchange saliva we are unawarely testing if our germs are compatible and if the other person is a good option to procreate with.

Of course there is kissing that doesn't involve saliva, but it gets so close to normal kissing that it's seen as more than friendly in certain cultures, while in other cultures is seen as a normal greet or a normal friendly affection gesture to kiss in the lips as long as it's short and lacking of saliva.

You can kiss with a friend whatever way as long as both of you are ok with it. Simply don't expect other people to understand you are just friends. You can't control other people's thoughts and cultural background.

JPrez · Answer

I've kissed girls that are just friends before but not often. But usually it's on the cheek. Always hug them too because they mean a lot to me. I think it's definitely ok if you're single but if you're married, a kiss on the lips would be something you probably shouldn't do.

Vide_Noir · Answer

In the form of kisses, it creates a chemical high which causes more romantic feelings to come or sexual feelings. This comes from lips to lips however, with others such as cheek kisses and kisses on the head it is more friendly but it depends on the culture and the relationship of the people involved.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

What do you mean by kiss? Mouth to mouth? Cheek kiss? Hand kiss? I have French and Brazillian friends and we kiss cheek to cheek. None of us are romantic with the others, it's just cultural.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it depends on the culture, but in America, you don't kiss your friends.
Unless you have a friends with benefits arrangement, kissing a platonic friend indicates that the friendship is either not platonic at all, or will not be platonic for long.

Leah1273 · Answer

In french culture isn’t it kiss when you greet someone , I think kiss on cheek is friendship but lips is very platonic or leading to more xoxo

WesBrewer · Answer

if you are in a country where cheek kissing is how you greet then yes you can cheek kiss, but kissing anywhere else is not ok. unless you aren't friends anymore, but something more.

MrStitch · Answer

If there is kissing involved it's hard to believe the relationship is platonic. And 99% of guys and girls would feel it's unacceptable if their partner did this with a friend.

TessCasie · Answer

Kiss a friend in the cheek is fine. But nothing more than that. Unless it’s mutual agreement. That becomes friends with benefit.

Akachan · Answer

I give platonic kisses to my close friends all the time! I love them and they deserve kisses!!

slatyb · Answer

Mouth to mouth? Most people reserve that intimacy for a romantic partner.

CYNICAL_CRYPTIC · Answer

Some things are just inappropriate on a respect level.

Finchie40 · Answer

Because people Don’t fuck friends , they aren’t Really a friend if you want to fuck them

Anonymous · Answer

dont kiss them if you aren't gonna date them. you can have sex with them. thats ok, even if they dont want it but dont kiss them because then they get all emotional and cry and claim that you raped them or someone

PersoncslledPierson · Answer

If they’re sexually or romantically interested in each other, sure... If they’re of the same gender and heterosexual... that’s jus weird and awkward, so no

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Depends on cultures. In some culture cheek kisses are a normal greeting so no big deal.

Hannahbananaaaaa · Answer

I don’t see a substantial issue with it... lips would be a bit weird

In_Trance · Answer

If you feel like it's okay to kiss other guys then it's okay

Anonymous · Answer

It depends how works this friendship but depending on the friendship I think it’s okay

Darknut · Answer

I bet the woman in the picture for this question is a good lay..

Is it okay for friends to kiss?

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