Search Results: scared of getting in a relationship

Long story short, I've been in an off and on relationship with this girl for 5 years because she's Mormon and I am an atheist.

But when we last were together a few years ago, she had already decided to go on a mission, but we dated anyway, and we found a way to make things work for us. We were talking about getting married, we even looked and picked out rings and I proposed to her, and she said she'd officially accept when she returned.

Two months into her mission, she broke things off and said she didn't want me in her life because things just wouldn't work. I fought for our relationship twice during her mission, and let things be for the second half of her mission, because I could see she was extremely conflicted.

She is due home, and I wrote her a letter to try and fix everything, saying I still loved her and everything, and so far nothing. I texted her cell, knowing her brother had it while she was gone, he replied days later saying it wasn't hers, and I said I knew it was him and asked about the letter, and he said she got my letter. This is important because that's the only time in 5 years her family ever responded or reached out to me.

Even her mom said before she left to text or call her so she could get to know her future son in law more before my girlfriend returned, and she never answered me.

I'm at a loss, I feel I've done everything, and as far as I can see, she hasn't returned yet, and I haven't heard anything. What do you think about this? And what else can I do?
I've checked, and there is not a single update on her or her family's social media about her, or her returning. I am scared I've lost her.

We broke up years ago because of the religious difference and she said she didn't want me in her life, and in total, between conversations and all, we got back together two years later and built a even stronger relationship, an incredible one vs the last time together. She was conflicted about the church and me during the mission as well.