How to Get a Girlfriend (as Requested by the Guys!)

How to Get a Girlfriend (as Requested by the Guys!)

This myTake was recommened the most in one of my recent questions, so I'm going to cover it for all the guys who might appreciate it. Note I took about 20 websites of info, personal experiences, and peer advice and threw it into a pool of good vibes so don't forget to tell me if anything I included helped!

These days, finding a girlfriend is hard so before we even get into how to get one, let's talk about why it's so diffucult in the first place. One thing for sure is people aren't out as much as they were before, if you have a small social circle this applies to you the most. You can't meet a girl without going out your way to finding one and without many friends or connections, you have to start from scratch which takes a lot of invested time and there isn't even a guarantee you'll find one still. Another problem is expectations people are placing for their potential love interests are unrealistic or just over the top. Porn really disorient the way you look at sex and relationships all together. After awhile guys start looking for someone who fit the expectations he recieved from pornstars, movie actors, and insta-girls. Unlike a movie, in real life it takes time for you to love someone and for them to recipient those feelings back if they ever do. Consider those as something that can be making things harder for you.

Now that we got that out of the way let's talk about women themselves, don't worry, we won't take too long. Females appreciate the guys in their relationships, at least the healthy ones, and they have a natural instint to nurture and care for the ones they care about, this is widely known but it's actually true, women are more emotional than men, a woman's facial expressions are more animated and easier to see through than a man's. Knowing facts like these can help you know how a girl can react to certain situations, topics, settings, etc.

Where do I meet the girl?

This is the part you've been waiting for the most right? Let's talk about places you can find a lady just wandering about. A bus stop is a great place to go if you need to get somewhere and want to meet someone new at the same time. Chances are you'll find a sweet looking girl waiting for the bus or next to an empty seat. Be careful though, especially late at night or early in the morning she could be tired and not want to deal with you and you should respect that. A store that is mainly targeted toward females is obviously another good place to start, you might feel alittle out of place but if you have good confidence and think you could catch someone's attention without being creepy, go for it. Examples of this are: Hollister, Old Navy, Garage, Hot Topic, Forever 21, Areopostale

One more place that'd be good to find single ladies is a college campus, yours perferably. If you don't go to college you can always offer help to a girl who seems to be lugging something around or start a convo about her classes if you just happened to be walking near a school(Know that I'm not telling you to drive up to a campus eyeing a girl you can talk to, that's pretty creepy).

HELP! I'm bad at talking to girls...

If you want to get a girl interested in you, you have to talk to her of course. You need to break down the psychological barriers you put around yourself, past relationhips might play in the way you try to approach a girl but remember, she is someone you haven't met before(most likely) she isn't the ex who cheated on you or the girl who used you for a specific benefit, she's just her. Correct your posture to present yourself as more confidient guy and keep eye contact when you first approach. When she locks eyes with you don't look away which will show your passiveness take the challange head on and remain unphased. To start an actual conversation you need to say soemthing that isn't overly used that it's boring but isn't so personal it kind of scares her away. Try starting with "Hey my name is (your name) why are you here?" "Wow I love your style could you pick out clothes for me?(humorous) "I'm looing to meet new people, can you be apart of that?". Show her that you are into her and you want to see her again, things like this can score you a number. Remember if it doesn't seem she's active don't loose your enthusiasm and be persistint after the first encounter if you have any contact with her(unless she tells you she isn't interested herself).

Ok she knows I exist but how do I move things along??

You just have to keep her in the loop at this point. To escalate an acquaintance into a lover or even a good friend you have to spend time with them. Little things matter, ask to take her out on a fun and friendly date to a resturant, ask her what kind of movies she likes and take her out to one a week later, even ask if you can come over and hang out without any secret intentions, text her as much as you can(without having her be an unhealthy amount of your time) and do this for as long as you have to. Inevitably, either she will never go any further with you or you both are comfortable enough in your relationship for you to establish a romantic tie with her. Be with her as a friend and person she needs be that man, but don't treat her so friendly she'll only think of you platonically and friendzone you. Basically you need to be around enough that she gets used to your company but be able to leave her be long enough that she will unconsciously want to see you. Don't think about it too hard because after this time period both of your likng for eachother is all that can change the outcome of how your question goes. You can't do much after this point so try your best to establish a healthy balanced relationship.

What question am I supposed to bring up when I'm ready and how?

When you are the most comfortable with eachother and you think you are involved with eachther enough to ask, plan out a date where you spend all your time with them, don't do it out of the blue without planning with her first and letting her know you want to hang out. Do something with her that you know she likes to boost the likelihood of the date being a success. When getting ready to ask her for a relationship you must keep a positive atmosphere. As tempting as it is to look down at your hands or feet, keep your chin up and keep a good posture to convince her and yourself that you are confident. Remember eye contact is very important smile and tell her how much you enjoy being with her after awhile of back and forth, she'll probably know what you'll ask next, you just have to choose the way you ask it. "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" "Want to go out with me?" "I want to be more." are good ways of asking her out, of course you could always think of something to ask yourself.

After this whatever happens next correlates with how you've made her feel the time you spent together, how she made you feel, and the chemistry between you two. I wish you luck and hope you got something valuable out of my take comment anything I might've missed and goodluck!


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Most Helpful Guys

  • Cool. I'll take your advice and walk around la senza asking random girls why they're here and if they wanna be my friend. I'm sure that'll go over super well.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's easy (generally) to get a girlfriend/boyfriend. It's harder to keep a friend of any kind. It takes work; you have to be a good friend to have a good friend (friendship or romantic).
    The problem is; too many people want others to like them but they don't act in a "likeable" manner. In other words, they want to take but not give in a relationship.

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    • Or they do act likeable and it's deemed that it must be just an act. I think i just have a knack for meeting all the women "players". I wish women had a sign on them alluding to which ones were genuine. I'm sure you women feel the same way though :::sigh::::

    • Yeah, a relation without reciprocity is a doomed relation.

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What Guys Said 39

  • Good Take. Main thing is to try. If you don't you've automatically failed.

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  • 1) The only place you are likely to find according to you is stores, bus stops, and college. the places are seemly limited. what about the gym, cafe (starbucks and a smoothie shop) public park, nightclubs, beach, and bars?
    2) There is little much you said on the "too shy talking to girls" topic. Aside for being introverted, there are people who got rejected many times like myself. i can still treat it as a "ex" advice you've mention however, it is still not guaranteed.
    3) you forgot to mention every person who are looking for a relationship have to go in cold water. what it means that we have to put on the brave face without knowing that they are taken or someone else they are looking at. If there is an advice on that topic, i would read about it.
    4) Its a good advice but also a bad advice. "Be with her as a friend and person she needs be that man, but don't treat her so friendly she'll only think of you platonically and friendzone you" its still very vague. how much is too much and how much is good enough? this is not as measuring it in a measuring cup. still need more about this idea.

    this is great take. there are some advice that I've seen or heard of it already but i learn more depth into getting in the relationship zone.

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    • I tried to keep the take as short as possible with as much info as I could fit in 2 days sorry I went over a few topics, I'll do better next time 😊

  • i work at a store lucky me i guess.
    i'm not bad at talking to them as idgaf about what people think of me and i stop thinking once i start talking flirty to girls.
    not that works out for me that much but hey a nice trait to have.

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  • THANKS A LOT! I now have a girlfriend. Can you do a mytake on how to convince my girlfriend to take part in a threesome?

    Seriously though, there is no special recipe. If you're a guy you have to approach and talk to women if you want to be in a relationship.

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  • Brother you should have some passionate goals in your life... whom you badly wanna achieve , and please dont make women your goal.
    I think that women are not aliens whom they are difficult to find and meet , keep your perception clear, stay positive and be respectful I am hopeful that you will not get a girlfriend but a loving wife.

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  • Good mytake, some of it is useful but since I’m older meeting them that way is hard and never know who is single or even wants a man in their life anymore, seems like they are so independent these days they almost don’t care for one or are to successful that you have nothing to offer

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  • I wish you had mentioned the TRUST word. It’s difficult and complicated, but if you don’t TRUST someone and their intentions then you don’t get very far. TRUST is created over a long period of time, and destroyed in one bad decision. People who have been burned before start off very low on the TRUST scale and it takes a lot to win them over. There are people who naturally trust others, but usually only to a certain point. You need to understand that. There are women who will bed you and not trust you. There are women who are fortresses, that you are going to have to scale tall walls and swim moats to reach the castle. You have the same problem guys. It’s not “who do you love?”, it’s “who do you trust? l

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  • I disagree with this. If your intention is to date her you should be clear about it from the start, no talking about "hanging out" or "trying to meet new people". Even though you mentioned not to be too much of a friend you were too vague - and that's exactly what you're doing anyway when you're just hanging out with her platonically.

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  • Well done very good take for a 15 year old - Though it is easy when you are my age but the advice I can give is be yourself and don't overthink it, when it happens, it happens - Trying to force it or rush it is probably the worse thing you can do.

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  • You know what. I'm single and I want to get some ass so I will read your Take and give you my honest feedback.

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  • Exercise 1:

    1) Go on youtube

    2) Type in "Relationship advice

    3) Notice how the majority of advice on men and advice on women... are posted by women!!

    4) Look around in society and notice ll the unhappy women.

    ...

    Good idea, the next time you want to give advise to people, maybe consult with DoctorSex, his name gives the game away. It would be useful to quote and consult with a guy.. that would be a unique take that most if not all girls doing this, aren't doing.

    It's needed

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  • I'm too stupid to talk to girls let alone anyone. Hell some guys think I'm going to steal their shit...

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  • Just be tall and good looking, seriously.

    That's the secret.

    I mean just take a look at which guys ALWAYS have girlfriends and girls swarming around them trying to be their girlfriends. What do all those guys have in common? They're all tall and good looking. It's like, the most obvious thing ever.

    The real crime in life is that there aren't enough tall guys to go around, because no woman should have to date under 6'. That's a travesty. Short guys should pay more taxes, I think.

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    • Exactly right but women will never admit to that.

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    • @WillyD That comparison is a pretty insidious one though, mind you - being short is genetics (well, sort of... if you take HGH before puberty, it isn't, but hindsight is 20/20) - but being fat for the most part is a choice. Yes, hyperthyroidism exists. No, it isn't accouting for 50% of women in the US - because yes, 50% of women in the US are overwheight. The rate is similar in my country by the way. So I don't think. it's fair that I am educated, witty, smart, funny, well-dressed, etc, plus I am busting my ass off in the gym - and my female equivalent would be an overweight wallflower who sits at home doing nothing all day. Sorry, but that's unfair.

    • @Benedek38 Bigger women are only alone if they choose to be... I know many who constantly reject men who don't fit their standards while complaining about men having standards

  • how do you get over those "psychological barriers" though? I am fine talking or looking at any girl no matter how pretty except for the one girl i like. If she does like me it probably look to her like i dont like her and I'm trying to ignore her.

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  • amazing and helpful. Thank you for writing all that

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    • Show All
    • Yeah I'm not very good at proof reading but I'm hoping to publish a book later in my life so this is just a practice session i guess

    • Writing is a very good talent to have. Among the best in my opinion

  • Today having a girlfriend is becoming a politically correct thing.

    We don't need to get a girlfriend/boyfriend we need to get a life.

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  • i feel it barely hit my mind last year, i like to feel it's only guys who need to learn how to talk to women or get dates, get a girlfriend, not the other way around, because simply put, how is it a skill for women just as much as it is for men, when women don't have to do the courting or take any action on their part, don't have to initiate anything?

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  • Great stuff!! Man, this is far past what I know! This is great information!!! Great take!!

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  • That’s not the problem like saying something or small talk which I find boring. It’s the anxiety of not having awkwardness of running out of things to talk about or is interesting. Like I don’t know are girls really interested in being approached at a bus stop or wherever and giving their number out to a guy they just talked to for a minute? It feels like bars are the only places, but like I said it’s nit starting a convo but as an introvert having to continue a convo and carry it over awhile. I’m fun abs funny but I do my best when I get to know someone or in a mutual setting to know them. It’s why I have no provide talking to a new cute girl at work or class room. Are clubs, cooking classes or other stuff as well as volunteering stuff good ways to meet girls too?

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    • Oh crap you’re only 15 so you wouldn’t be able to answer the questions you asked. My question was about what adult women are involved in.

  • Honesty and truthfullness.. a clean heart and a strong will...

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What Girls Said 9

  • The realest piece of advice I can provide? Be yourself... if she's a quality woman AND you guys can connect on some level emotionally- the rest is cake.

    It's always easier when you start off being real... there are no let downs later and certainly no "I thought you were this way..." etc.

    You don't have to alter your personality, your vibe, what you have to offer. Be genuine, kind, considerate and of course you.

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    • I would like to add the older yet get the less quality women are available. They all get snapped up. Same for guys i'm sure.

    • @WillyD I guess thats why men go for younger women usually.

  • I actually don't like texting all the time. Is there an option to just meet in person to talk instead of texting? Great mytake!

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    • If you don't text then make out time to call the person.

  • Be around girls.. things have a way of working themselves out but you gotta be present

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    • yea that easy... when even some so called friends don't want to be around you, girls will surely cherish my presence... :D

  • be a gentleman and be funny

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  • Interesting

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  • Good take

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  • Good take 😊

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  • Nice

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  • Good take. Every guy should read this.

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