Search Results: women like it rough

So this might be a bit of a novel- I'm 24, a guy, and I'm an engineering technician. I have high astigmatism and really bad farsightedness, and cannot pass the peripheral vision portion of the driving exam to save my life. I'm 5'7" and in shape but thin (I bike to work from my condo any day it isn't storming out and play in my company's soccer league, do light workouts and go hiking all the time). On top of other things, being unable to drive (and not being able to do anything about it) is super frustrating. It's usually a total dealbreaker for most women I talk to. my shortness is sometimes a problem too. Having a rough family life and constantly working full-time while commuting via bus or train to full-time engineering school just to pay my tuition and bills left me pretty much no time for relationships the past 5 years. I'm out now, at a job I like, in a great area and have a nice place and a short bike commute to work. I should add that in a virgin- a couple girls I wasn't attracted to have wanted to sleep with me but I know that I wouldn't be happy dating them (mostly personality traits or hygiene or weight issues), so I've declined. So no experience in the bedroom department either. Keeping in-shape and having a goal, and taking care of my appearance and health are important to me, so I'm not going to settle for less in a woman. I'm not complaining about my situation, I'm actually super lucky to be where I am in my career and personal life, and to still be alive in general. I just want a couple honest opinions here so I can make a choice. Should I stop pursuing a relationship casually and save myself grief and wasted time, money and effort? Or should I hold out for "her?"

In 2012 I met this great girl and we went out couple of times. I thought she liked me but I never made a move, since I was young , stupid and recovering from being cheated by my ex. didn't really trust women and just a thought of putting myself in a position where someone could hurt me again was terrifying. Not asking her out is something I regret very much.

But we stayed in contact and flirted a lot , but were never again in the same city, she helped me a lot during my depression. But 7 months ago her inconsistent responding started to irritate me and I was having a rough patch again and I did a stupid thing off blowing things out of proportion. I wanted her in my life, even just as a friend, but at times it seemed like a one way road and then something snapped in me, deciding , no more regrets! I admitted how I felt for her. And she told me she had a boyfriend and then I realised, I´m not her friend, I knew how relationships are important to her and she didn't tell me, I wasn't in her inner circle like she was in mine and that hurted and that conversation ended very ugly.

Today I´m great, I pulled all my shit together and I´m moving to a new city in a new country, fresh start, just what I need. But as my flight nears I can't stop thinking about this, I once let a bad thing from past influence me, I dont want it to happen again. I have this big need to end it well, to send her a text to thank her for helping me and that I´m sorry how it ended and explain why I behaved that way.

The only thing stoping me is;I dont want to wake ghost from the past. This would make ME feel better, but what impact would it have on her, is it selfish from me, to take it out off my system and out off nowhere just hit her with it?
I dont want to reconnect, I just... I just hate how it ended and she is and always will be very special to me, she helped me a lot with my fear regarding dating and getting cheated again.

So, should I do this or not?
thanks for reading I know it was a bit long

Last year a girl I always like finally came on to me. At first I didn't believe her. I wanted nothing to do with her. She tried her hardest. She would give me hugs, had her friends tell me & had other people tell me. Still didn't want nothing to do with her. eventuality i stopped fighting her advances. we were together for a while. During this I was watching closely. maybe to close. I ll' call her sue. Sue & I had a rough history. In 8th grade she stood me up. In 9th &10th, she always turned me down. I was always thinking she would leave. Enter another woman. I will her Britt. Britt always should intrest in me, always tried. eventually I left Sue for Britt. I WAS A HUGE MISTAKE!!! I developed a crush on her. I also learned she had who I thought was her boyfriend. It was here cousin (who was a little totouchy with her.) This broke my heart. A week or two later, EVERYONE was asking "I didn't know you went with sue?" Me and sue never did anything or even had a conversation. She didn't seem to care. She a dead serious about us. After this, I let britt down gently. I tried tofix things with herher. There were times where ot felt like she would come back. Once Britt even tried to help. A year goes by. I asked EVERYONE for advice. Tell all told to talk to her. I must have blown up her messages. My best friend tolf me that she used to ask about me. Now in her in mind I left her. Imade a mistake. On everything I wish I could take it back. Last year I started to learn more about Britt. Knowing what i know now about the to. I would have picked Sue everytime. I thoght it wad fate punishing me for ruining what what supposed to be. I keep seeing what seem like fate was sending messages. Lebron & Cleveland. The other day on Unsolved Mysteries, they did a piece on a white buffalo, something that supposedly happen on every 2000 years, but a second one was born and was named "Miracle the second chance" I swear I see that phrase every where. I was stupid.