Relationships

Be in a relationship... not a mind game

So this is my very first myTake ever...be nice lol.


Sorry if it's not very organized and excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes, English is not my first language


This myTake is for/about straight people only as I'm not gay myself nor do I know that much about it, sorry. And this is my own personal opinion/conclusion...just sharing it.


This is like a general look on things (because I don't want to keep writing "most" (wo)men all the time lol)



So I personally believe that men and women NATURALLY work and fit together perfectly well


Think about it!


Women like feeling safe and they like to be held, we love nothing more!


Men like being the protector...men will never get tired of hearing their women say "you make me feel so safe!"


Women like to be taken care of and being treated nicely


Men just love that smile of appreciation women give them when they help their women through rough times (even by just holding them when they are down or crying) and they feel like they saved the day (which is true to some level actually)


And sooooo many more examples! both genders fit together like puzzle pieces


Be in a relationship...not a mind game


it naturally works....relationships were never meant to be so exhausting, being your natural self is more than enough actually



But...what happened?....when did relationships become so complicated? When did they become like they are nothing more than mind games (sometimes)? Why are they so hard sometimes?


The answer is simple...MAGAZINES


Yes, magazines and media ruined things for us!


How many times have you seen these titles in a magazine?


- "HOW TO MAKE (WO)MEN LIKE YOU!"


- "12 THINGS THAT MAKE YOU IRRESISTABLE"


- "10 TIPS TO MAKE YOUR MAN ADDICTED TO YOU!"


- "GET HIM/HER HOOKED IN 10 DAYS"


When you actually read those articles the only thing you see is.....*drum roll*....mind games!


They usually tell you to say/do/wear this or that and that it will make your man/woman, in return, do this or that (Which is usually something you want)....they basically teach you how to subtly trick/control your S.O


Be in a relationship... not a mind game


I personally used to read ANYTHING like that in any magazine i find, because i wanted to understand how the minds of men/women work, and as i grew older all i realized all i was reading is just tricks on how to control the mind of the opposite sex



You know how sometimes women buy flowers for men ?


Flowers are AMAZING to women.....but they are less than dirt to men because they can't practically use them


That's what I was trying to avoid...that is the stuff I wanted to understand.


Yes, I wanted love but I didn't want to hypnotize someone into loving me...I wanted someone to be with me because they want to, not because they were tied up and couldn't move away from me.


Most people blindly follow the advice of magazines and well, yes it works...but not how it is supposed to


it's like taking drugs......they make you feel carefree, but all your problems are still there, they haven't been solved and they sure haven't disappeared and they may even escalate in the time you are wasting on forgetting about them instead of solving them and the drugs themselves become a problem...see how things are actually getting worse not getting fixed ?


If you want to understand the mind of men/women, read stuff the talks about the psychology of men/women, like how the brain actually works not how to control that brain. In fact, it will help you learn a lot of stuff and improve they way you deal with everyday people not just in relationships


When you it comes to relationships, you will understand that women are not THAT hard to understand, every woman is just different from the other and if one woman likes something it does not mean that another woman will necessarily like it as well...we just need flexibility when you deal with us


You will understand that men are not shallow or made of ice or stone...they feel emotions, very very deeply too. They just don't necessarily show it...sometimes they even act the opposite of how they feel!


And don't just read about the opposite sex, read about your own as well, trust me it is much easier when you understand why you are feeling/acting a certain way instead of just trying to ignore it or go through it waiting for it to go away on its own...understand your own mind how it works



Well you understand your partner better but you still need relationship advice, what do you do?


Ask your mother/grandmother....or anyone from that generation (or older) really


Trust me.


They won't give you steps to follow but they will give you guidelines to understand and work with....and those are so simple yet so freaking effective. Even if you don't like what you hear, give it a try, you will be amazed.


That way you will learn from someone more experienced and at the same time YOU are going to be the one working on YOUR relationship not someone else (indirectly) working on it for you. It will enrich you and your life with your partner (of course both partners need to be working together, not just one of them working on the relationship)



Know your partner and look at their flaws and ask yourself "can I live/work/put up with this?"


Yes smokers DO quit....but only if they want to, all you can do is help them make that change



Remember:


WORK with your partner don't CONTROL your partner


Be in a relationship... not a mind game



Thank you for reading this VERY long take lol

Be in a relationship... not a mind game
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