These days everyone is so scared of being alone that they feel the need to jump from partner to partner, without even evaluating what made their last relationship fail. Many people are so desperate for someone to spend all their time with and fill their empty spaces; that they don't take a moment to reflect upon who they choose and who they are. In this take I'll share why I am not desperately looking for a partner. Up next five reasons why I don't care for a relationship at the moment.
1. I'm Not Interested
One of the main reasons I have found that I am not desperate for a relationship is because I haven't found anyone that's made me consider having one. I've had a few relationships in the past and the prospect of a new one isn't currently exciting to me. Most of the time I'm disappointed to find that the guy I've even slightly considered, is not who I thought he was, taking their life somewhere that I can't follow, emotionally unavailable or otherwise unreachable (to put a term to it). For the most part I find myself ready to be done with someone before we've even started having anything.
2. I'm Focused On Myself
I'm thinking more about myself and what makes me happy. I'm a natural people pleaser and I have a really hard time saying no, this single time has helped me realize that I should be focused on me. What do I need? What are my goals? What do I want for myself? I've been able to work through everything that was on my mind for the past few months or so. Being by myself has made me realize that the most important validation comes from within. When I was with a partner I was so obsessed with the feeling of someone giving me constant validation, that I forgot to work on my self-love and what would give me lasting happiness.
3. I'm Working Through My Feelings
One thing that I've learned the hard way, is that one nail doesn't drive out another. I used to like a guy, who for very valid reasons couldn't be with me, however that didn't erase what I felt for him. I tried everything, from hating him to ignoring him, to shoving some other guy in his face, all of which didn't work and left me feeling empty handed. I soon came to realize that the only way to move on was to work through my feelings. I'm not desperate for someone new because frankly I'm not 100% over that last guy and I'm not moving onto to someone else until I am.
4. I Make My Own Choices
While I'm single I live for me. I do whatever I please and I don't have to worry about someone else's expectation. In a relationship all of that changes. Suddenly what someone else has to say matters and how they view and think of you has a certain weight as well. I don't want someone to have that kind of power over me. I like being in control of myself and my destiny. I know that not everyone is controlling, but a certain set of compromises come with being committed to someone. I'm not desperate for a relationship because a relationship ties you down, in a flash it's randomboy's girlfriend, instead of simplyarandomgirl.
5. I Don't Want The Drama
I like my dramaless life. I don't have to worry about someone breaking my heart or cheating. Not to mention worrying about their family liking me. One thing that being single has taught me is that there is much less stress being by yourself than worrying if you meet someone's standards. Relationships over complicate your life, while bachelorness leaves a lot of room for you to be yourself. Of course it's not for everyone, but I operate better while I'm single. I go at my own pace, I wait for no one and I choose to do whatever the hell I want. Drama immediately flies out the window when you're single. While relationships and their emotions cloud your judgement, being single gives you a perfectly clear head.
You are your best self when you're in control of your life and how you feel. Relationships give you dependance, singleness gives you freedom, and that's the main theme of this take. While having a partner might be amazing, you should want your partner, not need it. You need to learn how to let go, be on your own for a while and love yourself a little more. Wanting someone's support is great but constantly needing someone to uphold you is damaging for yourself and others. You're not a half looking for another half, you're a whole human being and that's what you should keep in mind.
Thanks for reading this take
-The End xo
P.S. This was not meant to offend anyone. This is just my personal experience and my humble opinion/advice. As always thanks for reading.