Search Results: picking up women

I've never made a person nervous in my life -- not to my knowledge anyhow. I'm very easy going and chat people up without too much trouble.

I was sitting at the counter area of my favorite restaurant and one of the guys who works there kept coming up to me to say hi, chat me up, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary for me at that place. He hugged and kissed me (on the cheek) when I came in, but that's pretty standard for the two senior people and the actual proprietors. We all know each other as friends for about two years now. Anyway, he bumped into my seat and said "Oh, sorry." "No you're not." I joked. He came back and leaned in. "No...I'm really not." It set my blood boiling for a sec, but I laughed it off. "Mmm." he said, standing there a sec to take in my outfit. "You went to work like that? You're trying to give somebody a heart-attack or something?" he joked. There was definitely a lot of intense banter going on, but I don't take it seriously because he doesn't really take it anywhere. Later on, he started fumbling a little. "What's going on with you today?" I asked him. "IDK. You're making me nervous."

A red flag went up. Why?

One morning I was there and a woman (9.5/10 on the Hot Floozy Richter Scale) strutted in. The guy gave her that head-to-toe scantron look, taking in the choppy bottle blond hair, the frosty pink lipgloss, the black pleather cami, the painted-on denim capris, plastic nails (long enough to render her finger useless for picking anything up), the tattoos on her calves, and her 5" platform wedges. He ran to help her with everything she needed. When she left we all realized he'd been holding his breath. He blinked and exhaled. "Man, she is EXACTLY my type. She makes me nervous just walking into the place!"

So of course I'm nothing like this woman. I'm a total nerd. Looks-wise, I'm plain (barely mascara, clear gloss, short nails, polished) with a caramel Farrah Fawcett shag, a sort of avant-guard dress-code, snug jeans/skirts (weather permitting), and 2"-3" heels. Certainly nothing too flashy or obvious IMO.

While I DOUBT he's into me -- and I know he's dating a lot of different people now to get over his recent separation -- I wonder why he said such things to me and whether I should be concerned.

There's a prevalent American attitude that welcomes MORE benefits and rights that women demand to enjoy and be entitled to, yet at the same time, chooses to keep a tactful silence as a means to reject the corresponding fair-share of duties and liabilities associated with true "equality."

I'm trying my best to make this question unisex, and answerable by both men and women.

Guys, how do you feel about a girl who expects, or prefers, that you pay for the lion's share of dating expenses? Yes, that means that a girl may "make her own money" or "offer to pay" or "actually pay for stuff here and there," but at the end of the say, when all is said and done, if you sit down to take a look at how much you each contribute towards your dating expenses, she has somehow managed to have you pick up the lion's share of the tab. Are you more likely to be in a sexual/romantic relationship with such a woman, or less?

Girls, your question is NOT whether you expect a man to pay, or prefer that he pays, or whether you pay for dating expenses. We all know that would offer a way-too-easy-back-door-to-escape from. Instead, your question is: how do you feel about a man who does not pay disproportionately more than you do for dating expenses? That's right. If a guy isn't picking up more of the tab than you are, on average or over time, does that impact how you feel about him in a negative way? Do you think less of guys who don't cover more of the expenses of dating than you do? Do you think more of guys who pay more than you do towards dating? Are you more likely to be in a sexual/romantic relationship with such a man, or less?