Search Results: if i date him hell hurt me

Many years ago, i had a beautiful, loving, scaring and genuine girlfriend.
i can honestly say there is or was no one like her, girls like her are very rare.

Anyway, about 2 years into our relationship. i became emotionally unstable.
Try as i might i couldnt change. i hurt her, terribly. i never meant to, but i did.
i cheated on her with her own sister, i hit her, swar at her.

Eventually, she left (not that i blame her, i always wished her well). i never made contact with her for 7 years. Yesterday, i found out that she died from a very aggressive form of cancer, aged just 28 years old. She married her long term boyfriend before she died, she was with him for 7 years also.

I was and still am in shock. I still remember our first date, how she smelled so incredible, what she wore, and even what we talked about. that was 12 years ago.

I want to visit her grave, and tell her how sorry i am. She made me a better person by leaving, and she protected herself, i dont doubt that. I think if i could ask Emma now if i could visit her grave, she would say no, but i also think she would say "But if it would make you feel better"

I am now happily married to another woman, who reminds me of Emma in every way. Smart as hell, funny, unassuming, loving and devoted... im just a different man. Emma changed my life, and i will always be grateful.

What do i do?

So my best friend (23m) and I (24m) started both becoming interested in this girl (20f) we work with at the same time. He called me out to lunch one day and asks if I'm into her. Initially I said no because despite us being close we never chat emotionally. We're dumb guys the only time we share our emotional sides is when there's enough alcohol inside us. Anyway, I say no initially. Turns out the next day they go have a late night date till 3 in the morning at some beach and I'm devastated... My fault for not being up front with my feelings. I open up to him about all of it and he apologizes but we both agree I'm in the wrong for not being honest with my feelings. I wind up confessing to this girl all the same a few hours later. I explain everything that has happened in essentially the past two days. All conversations, my feelings, his feelings, she tells me she has a crush on him and that she sees me as a great friend it hurts like hell yada yada yada. Now here's the part I need help with. I winded up telling her that my best friend still has feelings for his ex and vice versa. They broke up because they were incompatible but still care about each other, live together, and got into an argument over him going out on a date with our coworker. When i told our coworker this, she was confused and worried. She very much did not want to be a part of the drama and now decided that she does NOT want to even talk to him in fear that she get caught up in something she wants nothing to do with... She thanks me for telling her everything but I feel like an asshole for essentially ruining my best friends chances... Am I an asshole?