Heylo!
A Quick Disclaimer:
I know I am not the best writer---nor am I a good one---but still, I decided to share my unwanted opinion in this myTake about an (hopefully) interesting topic. I ask that you bear with me throughout this relatively short journey into my mind.
In my list, I have narrowed it down to the only three traits and characteristics that I deem as having the utmost importance. Naturally, there are many more I adore, but these three in particular are what I find undeniably attractive in men.
So, let's get to it...
1. A Sense of Humor
So, as many of you know, humor has the effect of acting as a social lubricant, so to speak. And in certain situations, a bit of comedy can help lighten the mood as well as ease the awkward tensions from the air.
Let's say you're on a first date, and it's not going so well. You both are paralyzed with fear and wracked with nervousness that the little comments you spew at one another in hopes of sparking a conversation only duds out and creates a thicker and pervading ambience of discomfort, and now you're both sweating like two ice cubes in Hell.
Lucky for you, here comes the waitress!
Now is your chance to spontaneously deliver a one-liner to the worker as she stops by to refill your drinks. This is a masterly way to remove the pressure from both of you as another party has entered your pitiful predicament to take your minds from the matter at hand. If you succeed in making her laugh as well as your date, then at least half of the tension has vanished and it's easier to breathe. If not---hey! [Insert hopeful and reassuring comment].
But I like a guy who can subtly slip a joke in and catch me off guard while explaining a topic of a serious nature. It says a lot about his intelligence (which is another thing I find attractive but I won't dive into that) because he knows when to use his quick wits and, more importantly, when to not.
And that's not to say you must be a farceur. You could easily be a five-star comedian who tours around the world, bringing millions to tears with well-timed, stellar jokes, but if we have no comedic chemistry meaning if we are unable to create humor together, then it will NEVER work out between us. I can admire you from afar, but nothing will come of it.
And I can adapt to many types of humor, but if it's the corniest of dad jokes---ugh, please...
So, I believe it's safe to say that everyone has some inkling of humor stored somewhere within their bones, but it's not always about having a sense of humor, instead it matters how well you can create that sense of humor with your partner.
In every real man, a child is hidden that wants to play.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
2. Respectable Behavior
In this day and age, hardly anyone treats people or their property with respect. They curse, vandalize, manipulate, cheat and care solely for themselves. It's truly disappointing to witness what people do to each other and ultimately to themselves. But there are good apples out there, I know!
》He Who Loves Himself-
One thing I love to see in a guy is his love for himself!
I'm not alluding to the narcissistic balloon-headed guy who sleeps next to his mirror every night, but the one who doesn't berate himself on the daily. That fine gentleman who believes himself to be no greater or lesser than anyone else. He holds his head high when he walks into a room and carries a posture that screams confident.
》He Who Is Capable Of Love-
A myriad of guys like to believe it's *surfer dude voice* "totally radical" to act tough and not express any signs of emotion or even signs of being an actual human being. You don't need to be overly lovey-dovey, but it wouldn't hurt to give someone a hug who's in need (even if it's a bro-hug).
I admire guys who act out of care and kindness and bend down to lift others up. I see that as evidence of emotional strength; he's not afraid to get lost in his softer side.
》He Who Has Passions-
A man who can get swept away into a world of what he loves to do makes him so much more freakin' adorable! Whether it be about drawing, politics, photography or music, I can't resist to smile at a guy who enjoys to dabble in life's many pastimes.
Just as long as it's not out of line.
》He Who Is Mannerly-
This one plays a huge role in having along with showing respectable behavior. It may not be the case for everyone, but I was raised by people who lived by the golden rule: treat people how you want to be treated. It may seem elementary, but applying this to your life is quite difficult for some people. A LOT of people.
Phrases such as, "Thank You," and, "Have a nice day," said with a genuine expression are essentially what makes a person stand out from the rest. I want to be around a guy who knows how to be a civilized and classy human being, who can rein in his temper when tested, and is filled with a content joyfulness because a little bit of that can spread a long way.
And if a guy could pull my chair out every once in a while, I'd enjoy that, too. 😊
“Respecting someone indicates the quality of your personality.” -
Mohammad Sakhi
3. A Strong Backbone
Lastly, this, right here, is what I would consider to be the defining line that separates the men from the boys.
When I hear the saying "strong backbone," I immediately picture a guy who doesn't let anyone walk all over him, someone who takes charge in chaotic situations, someone who says, "Okay, this is the situation, and this is what we're going to do about it." That's definitely one of the most comforting things a guy can say to me. Even as the world is crumbling around us, his gentle yet resonant voice ringing with a finality so inarguable would calm the frantic uproar growing inside me.
A man doesn't have to be an alpha (whatever that is) to be strong, courageous, independent. His unwillingness to be taken for granted and firm commitment to uphold his feelings and decisions is true manliness.
The Devil whispered, "You cannot withstand the storm." And the Warrior whispered,
"I am the storm."
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