Search Results: does first time hurt

First of all I really really love my best friend. We‘ve been friends for 13 years now and we have helped each other through so many things. I absolutely appreciate her but sometimes her behavior makes me feel unheard.

She is a very open person, absolutely beautiful and very outgoing. She's truly a social butterfly and guys love her for that.

She was diagnosed with depression a few years ago but doesn't go to therapy and doesn't take meds to fight it. To me she never seems depressed though. She sometimes has extreme outbursts of emotions to the point i can pick her up off the streets but that's it.

Last time I told her that I felt so bad and didn't know how to mive on she yelled at me "Stop whining! Who's suffering from depression? Me or you?".

She is diagnosed with pre cancer and now has to do radiation therapy. She always tells the people that know about it that we shouldn't tell anyone because she doesn't want to be seen as a sick and weak girl, yet she tells every guy she meets herself.

Lately I've had a few health problems myself so I'm currently seeing a doctor. Basically i suffer from fatigue and my whole body hurts the whole time. My friend told me today that it is just in my imagination and that I should be happy to be this healthy. She almost gets angry or annoyed when I say I'm feeling bad.

She always tells the guys she meets everything about the cancer and because of that they treat her extra nicely and get hooked on her. Even if I might sound a little bit jealous myself i just can't shake the feeling that she does that on purpose and is now scared that she isn't the only one that's sick anymore. I feel like she's seeing me as a rival.

I went to my bf's pre-graduation dinner with his family tonight and after he drove me home we sat outside his car and talked for an hour about what we would do once he graduates. I hadn't wanted to talk about it before graduation, hadn't wanted to make him sad, but it quickly turned in that direction. In fact, I broke down in his car because he claims that high school relationships never last, and that he doesn't plan for ours to be any different. The fact that he's not willing to try long distance tells me that I like him way more than he likes me and it sucks that that's the case. On one hand I get it: he doesn't want to do the college high school thing only for us to fight all the time and things to end bad. But on the other hand I don't get it. Who says it has to end bad?
He wants to stay together through the summer but I just don't see the point. We just officially got together 2 months ago and I feel like the longer we talk the more attached I'll get. I told him that I was considering ending it now but he got so sad and it seemed like the last thing he wanted. So I'm sacrificing my happiness, it's going to hurt me more at the end of this summer, to save him the hurt now.
Tonight he asked me what I expected. That everyone goes into relationships expecting them to end. But I disagree, yeah there's a possibility, but it's not supposed to be a fact. If it is, maybe you shouldn't be in that relationship in the first place. It just makes me feel like he doesn't care that much, though he insists he does, and that he's just using me for experience before he goes off to college and finds a real girlfriend he plans to keep.

Is it mean to end things? Should I just hold out through the summer?