Search Results: get my boyfriend to forgive me

My boyfriend & I've been together for a little over 3 years & throughout these years we've had our share of rough patches & messy fights. He's lied to me several times & sometimes the lies were so insignificant & unnecessary it baffles me on why he even lied (e. g. I asked him to walk the dog. when I got home I asked if he had & he looks me in the eyes says yes, I even asked him "are you sure you?" & he stuck to his lie even though I knew he was lying because there was no collar on the dog & when I confronted him he finally admitted he lied).
A month ago we had an extremely ugly fight to the point that he packed some of his clothes & stayed at a friend's (we live together). After 2 days with the help of a friend who mediated we talked without fighting & agreed we have so much at stake & it is worth trying to work things out, maybe try couples counseling. Things started to get a bit better & a 2 weeks after on our anniversary he gave me a promise ring. That made us both try to work things out no matter what & he made a promise to me that he won't lie anymore, 100% honesty without white lies our half-truths.
Still, the skeletons in his closet keep popping out & he lied again. I've never lied or been disloyal even though he slept with a girl last year when we were on a break & downloaded 3 dating apps the two nights he stayed at his friend's after our fight. I've taken him back after everything he has done & put me through & hurt me because I just don't want it to end. Im so emotionally deep in this that I can't tell anymore whether its love or I've gotten used to him or its convenient having him be there always or if its that I rather stick through in hopes of making it work, out of dreading to go back to being on my own and having to start dating all over again from square one.
Also ending it would be so messy & painfully heartbreaking as we have so much history, mutual friends, lease contract, a dog, etc.

Have I made a mistake for staying? Why can't I want to leave still?

I broke up with my ex for various reasons because he just couldn't treat me right but he's the most amazing person and loyal. I know he does love me but he doesn't love me enough to treat me right. Should I just get over him? I cut off complete contact and then contacted him again and since then he has tried to get back with me but he has stopped now. I am now emotionally damaged because of him and really miss him. I'm trying my best to stay strong because I know if I was to go back I'll get hurt. He hurts me by saying stuff that would emotionally hurt me. I am sensitive so the littlest things hurt. I know he's a good guy but I just feel like I won't be able to find another guy like him or anyone decent 😭. People have told me to avoid speaking about him so I'll forget about him but they don't understand. Just because I don't speak about him, doesn't mean I won't stop thinking about him. I miss him. I have read that going back to the same relationship would give the same result like before. I have been with him for 4 years and supported him every time. Let go of his mistakes and forgiven him every time even when he didn't deserve to have another chance I gave him chances. He's seen me at my worst point and still stayed. I feel so comfortable around him and don't even need to try so hard to even impress him. He's just happy to be with me.

We broke up in 2015. He destroyed me mentally. Haven’t really had much contact since. He was a terrible boyfriend, constant lying & cheating, but was my first love. He’s recently been in contact & supposedly deeply regrets his actions. I stated that I’m okay with him not being in my life but he said he wants to be in mine. He was even willing to fly out (to another country) just to come and see me so we can talk face to face. I declined this offer.

Took me me a while to get over but I’m okay with what happened now. However, I’m unsure of how I’ll feel if I see him again. He’s trying his hardest to convince me that he messed up... but I’m not sure if I can ever trust him again.
A part of me still wants him but the smart side of me is saying I shouldn’t.

what would you do?