Xin Nian Kuai Le
San Nin Fai Lok
Sťastný nový rok
Godt nytår
Gelukkig nieuwjaar
Hyvää uutta vuotta
Bonne année
Frohes neues Jahr
Felice anno nuovo
良いお年を or 明けましておめでとうございます
Godt nytt år
Szczesliwego Nowego Roku
Feliz Ano Novo
S novym godom
Feliz año nuevo
Gott nytt år
Blwyddyn Newydd Dda
Happy New Year!
2017 was a momentous year for me and I want to take some time to reflect on what I have learned and how I want to use my new knowledge to make myself into a better person in 2018. First, I'll review the significant events in the past year and what I learned.
1. RELATIONSHIPS. I dated Miss Ivy for two years, beginning in May, 2015. I was hopeful that she was The One because, after six months of dating, I was in love with her. I told her that I was in love with her and she was very honest in candidly admitting that she was not in love with me. She liked me, she enjoyed spending time together, she loved having a steady boyfriend and companion, but she was not in love with me.
I really, really wanted her to be in love with me because I really, really loved her. You already know how this didn’t work out but not for lack of effort on my part. After two years, I still thought that Miss Ivy was a wonderful person and I still loved being with her but I realized that she would never love me. Staying with her for two years just made the break up more difficult for me.
I allowed myself to get so caught up in the emotion of the relationship that I did not listen to my head. I knew that I should have left sooner but the idea of leaving was too painful to consider.
After Miss Ivy, I dated several women on a casual basis. One was 45 minutes late for our first date and an hour late for our third date. I was too forgiving. That was enough of a red flag that I should have left after the third date (or maybe after the first date.) I hung around for a few more dates and then broke up, at which point she went cat shit psycho! She thought that we were exclusive even though we had NEVER talked about being exclusive. I should have responded to my instincts on that third date.
I dated Miss Valerie for two months. We never had an explicit agreement to be exclusive but neither of us was dating anyone else. Early on, she confessed to me that she had absolutely no retirement plan whatsoever, not even Social Security, because she did most of her work (a cleaning service) “under the table.” She got paid in cash and never reported her earnings. After two months, it became clear that she saw me as a retirement plan more than as a boyfriend. We agreed to go our separate ways.
How many ways do I love thee? Let me count the ways!
I then had three wonderful dates with Miss Dinah. She was bright, articulate, healthy and active, classy, and we had some great dates that lasted seven to nine hours each! Then, she discovered that I was a CONSERVATIVE and she could never envision settling down with a conservative so she no longer wanted to date me. I was a bit perturbed at being dumped for such a stupid reason but I also realized that someone who would do that is probably rather shallow. Eventually, I would have realized that she is a superficial person and would have become disenchanted with her.
Recently, I have met three great women and I plan to explore the possibilities with each of them. One is a high school classmate who I re-connected with at my 45th high school reunion in June. She is a successful professional and a caring person; I have a date with her on January 6 for dinner and the symphony.
Two weeks ago, at a Christmas party, I met a woman who is originally from Brazil but she has been here for about 30 years. When I met her, I felt an immediate physical attraction to her and I spent the entire evening talking to her. I have a dinner date with her on January 13 (she will be out of town next weekend.) Here is the really surprising part: she is 81 years old! I know how incredibly strange that sounds but she looks like she is 65, she was dancing and carrying on at the Christmas party, and I would have never guessed that she is that old. Before I met her, if you had told me that I would be strongly attracted to an 81 year old woman, I would have suggested that you stop smoking whatever it is that you have been smoking!
No, this is NOT the lady I am dating! She really doesn't look any older than me!
Last Friday, I met a woman who is from Germany but she has been in the US for about thirty years. (I don’t know why I meet so many international women but I have dated many over the years.) She is very charming, captivating, delightful, playful and flirtatious . . . and she is 78 years old. Again, I am amazed at the age difference and she clearly does not look or act her age. We do not yet have a date scheduled but she asked me to call her and I will probably do so tomorrow.
2. PROFESSIONAL LIFE. I have recognized my desire to slow down in my professional life. Fortunately, I am self-employed in a profession where I can control how much I work and I can gradually slow down the pace of what I do. I really don’t want to be fully retired before age 70, but slowing down a little bit sounds nice. (I will have my 63rd birthday in a few weeks.)
3. AVOCATIONAL ACTIVITIES. I have been elected to serve as president of my church congregation for the next year and it is a great honor and a significant responsibility. I have also been selected to serve as the next president of my fraternity’s regional alumni association. This will not require as much time as my church position but the two together will absorb most of my free time. Because of this, I recently discontinued my volunteer service as a judge in our local teen court program. I loved the 10 years I worked with the teen court program and the annual mock trial program in which we competed but I anticipated the need to cut back on my commitments. I did not want to wait until I was feeling the pressure of having too many demands on my time so I was proactive in withdrawing from the teen court activities.
LESSONS TO BE APPLIED IN THE NEXT YEAR:
1. Protect myself better. I have a tender heart and I need to do a little bit better with protecting it. I need to spend more time getting to know a potential partner before deciding that I want to be exclusive with that lady, and I need to get comfortable with dating more than one lady at the same time on a casual basis.
2. Don't be so rigid with the selection criteria. I have been surprised recently with an attraction to two women who do not fit the profile I would have described for a match for me. Perhaps I don’t know myself as well as I previously assumed and I need to be a bit more open minded about dating women who do not fit “the mold.”
3. Be more selective accepting new cases. Since I want to slow down, I can be a little bit more selective in deciding who I should accept as a client and those who I do not want to represent can be referred to younger attorneys who may need to build their practice rather than slowing down. This should also reduce some of the stress that is inherent in practicing law.
4. Be more proactive! My decisions this past year about managing my time commitments has worked well and I need to remind myself that being more proactive with other substantial decisions will probably reduce some of the stress in my life.
5. Be humble. Finally, since I will be assuming leadership positions with two different organizations in 2018. I need constantly to remind myself that one of the great qualities of a leader is humility.
Not humble like this! I'm talkin' 'bout REAL humble!!!
The coming year will be an important year in my life and I am poised to become much more confident in knowing that I am establishing some good patterns for the remainder of my life. I continue to be a hopeful romantic, I am still an idealist, and LIFE IS GOOD!
So . . . how will YOU improve your life in 2018?
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