Search Results: how to leave after sex

I know this is a sensitive question because no one wants to call another person "stupid" but why would a single girl continue to have babies without a steady father around?

And maybe the better question is why would guys want to father one, or more, children with a girl and then not want to stay around and help take care of their own child?

I know of a girl like this that still lives with her parents and has 5 children at last count starting from when she was around 15 or 16.

Her parents wanted lots of grandchildren and didn't really care if she was married or not, they just loved having the grand kids around. And since her dad had several businesses and had lots of money, they never told her to go after the guys for child support so the boys are thinking this is all a footloose and fancy-free activity for them.

She quit high school before graduating. She is not even close to having a lot of common sense. Most people, even friends that know her, consider her the "ditz" or "airhead" type.

She just seems to be, but I doubt that she is, content living from day to day with all these kids and seeing different guys all the time. It's not that she doesn't want a steady guy, it's just that they only seem to come around for sex and then leave. I know most of you don't know the kind of girl that I am talking about, but they do exist.

Would an intelligent girl ever do something like this? Can we just be honest and say that she, and others like her, are stupid? And are the guys dumber than she is, or not?

When I was 18, I lived in Ohio. I had a fling with a guy. I loved him. The first man I truly loved. On the 4th of July 2004, we were at the fireworks when he asked to have sex in the woods. I said no. I felt guilty because he was a virgin, I was not, and I had a strong feeling I would be forced to leave the country. I ended up opting to go back and my heart broke because I loved him and felt like he did too. We kept in touch and are still friends to this day. He came out as gay to me a couple years ago. He said he figured it out shortly after I left, but hid it from everyone and I was the one he was most afraid to tell because he still loved me. And through the years, I’ve loved him too. Not in a romantic way, but I cherish him.

I admitted I regretted not having sex with him that night and come to find out, I knew that he got married to a woman after me, but he didn’t love her. And that aside from her, I’m the only other woman he finds attractive.

We planned a drunk karaoke night the next time I visit. I’m hoping within the next year, but this is where it gets complicated.

I told him that despite my regret, I won’t be sleeping with him when I visit. I have a friends with benefits that I’m very attracted to of almost 2 years. And my kids know and like him too. But there’s still a part of me that wants to have sex, just once, to make up for my regret. But at the same time, I love R. In the same way I loved L. More than L could have at 17, but my kids tell him they love him too. So even though we’re only FWBs, I feel like I would be cheating on him. We both said that while we see where this goes, we’re okay with the other seeing other people, but that neither of us are like that.

R knows about L. I’ve even told him I still have a love for L. R is the same about his first girlfriend. 9 years together and he let her get away.

So what would you say and why?

After further analyzing myself more as an adult on why I acted in such an awful manner at an early age, I came to the conclusion that I was made, not born. I recalled that until my 7th b-day (according to my father, the would be the last time I would ever smile for real), I was into playing with dolls and eating ice-cream with my friend.

3 years later my parents were arguing nonstoppable as I was in major trouble:
At the time my father blamed it all on my mother. He said (as he was in tears and very upset by then) ''She was a normal kid, you made her into this, now she's gonna lose her childhood in detention, all because of you, you biotch''. He went on saying that if she had been a guy, he would have already punched her. My parents were divorced since my toddler years but I would still visit both of them. My mother accepted the blame and even said ''I ruined her''.

Possible explanation on my destructive behaviors:
I would stay with my mother from Monday to Thursday and half of Friday. There was a time she would come home drunk and lie about working a double shift. I knew it wasn't true. Many times, she would bring home a different drunk man and have sex on the couch. Sometimes she would step out and leave me alone with him. I lost count of how many times some of these men would grope and touch me. One of them would creep into my room and watch me.
Sometimes my mother was an angry drunk and well that was very bad news for me. It would mean I had to take her rage. During the time, I used to hang out more on the streets by then.

I would never smile again and if I did, it was only after doing bad things. It started on my school cafeteria, where I purposely tripped a classmate by leg tripping him as hard as I could. Then I stood there smiling (not the same smile as the one my father knew me as) as he fell down, got hurt and started crying. That was the beginning from there. I was by then a different child.