Search Results: still a virgin

Back in the beginning of 2015, I was suicidal because I couldn't find another virgin to lose my virginity to. I was overdosing on my meds and kept going in and out of hospitals.

I was on this dating platform, OKCupid, and this girl messaged me. She contacted me first and I started talking to her. I explained my situation and she didn't believe me. She then avoided me.

I ended up being hospitalized again for a suicide attempt. After I was released, I messaged her and sent her a picture of my hospital wristband as proof that I was hospitalized. She then believed me and we started messaging again.

Come to find out she was 16. I was 20 at the time, but looking at the state laws in the state she resided, she was of legal age for sex.

We started talking more and more and even snapchatted. After a few months, we agreed to meet up. She was hesitant at first but she decided to go through with it.

I drove 7 hours all the way to her state to meet her. We walked the mall, had an ice cream, then we went to the hotel and we took each other's virginities. I even still have the pictures of the blood stained sheets when I popped her cherry.

The day after, we spent the entire day at the amusement park. I fell in love with her I thought. It was all affection and holding hands and kissing. I thought I found my first girlfriend. Later before we departed, she told me she did not want anything serious it shattered my heart.

I stopped talking to her for two weeks. Then I messaged her again and she said she was glad I contacted her and she had locked herself in her room crying at one point.

We started talking again, and at one point she told me I was the best guy she ever met. Although she led me on a little, she said she did not want a relationship. I was crushed.

Later, I started to question if she really was a virgin and even called her up crying. She reassured me I was her first.

Eventually I made her mad and she told me to never talk to her again.

I am 25 years old, and for the past several years, I have been in the lowest point of my life.

I have no credible talents. I still live at home, and I am on disability. I only receive $850 a month from social security after medicare deductions. Once I turn 26, I will lose my parents' insurance.

I have never had a girlfriend. I am really short for a male, with a height of 5'6. I have failed when it comes to women. I was even arrested for stalking for trying to win a girl's heart. It is a long story. I now have a criminal record for stalking and harassment.

I am terrible with women. In addition, I cannot get over a woman's romantic past. Any romantic bonds she had during her youth, whether that be college, high school, or middle school, I cannot get over. If I meet a woman now, I can never say we knew each other during our youth. Meanwhile, I have friends (and even my parents) that can say they are with someone they loved from when they were young.

I am in university right now for web app development, but most people don't need a college education for that.

I cannot seem to get any jobs or internships in the field that I am pursuing, and I have been studying and coding for 3 years now. I feel I have nothing to really show for it still.

I am having second thoughts whether this field is right for me. I don't know exactly what is right for me anymore.

I used to be an EMT, but I had to voluntarily surrender my license due to my criminal convictions.

I have only had sex with one woman in my life, but it was pity sex with a high school girl. Both virgins. She was 16; I was 20. That is the best I was able to get with an attractive girl.