Search Results: abusive men

When I was in high school my American History teach always said "hate is taught" when we were learning about slavery, Jim Crow South and Emmit Till.

I actually have to agree with her because of what I've experienced. So here's my story:

My first step dad was a drunk with a history of drugs and was sexist and racist, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, no I'm not talking about the dumb SJW terms of sexism and racism, this guy was a REAL sexist and racist.
He would say things like "these (n words) should have went back to Africa when they had the chance, but they decided to stay and fuck up our shit" and "most women use men for their money and fuck (n words) behind their backs" and "all women are sluts and whores" and "most women will sleep with at least 100 (n words) before settling down with a white man who's actually worth a damn, and even then she'll have gangbangs with (n words) behind his back.
When my mom finally decided to divorce his ass, he refused to sign the documents, so my mom decided to start dating other men after a couple months of refusal. She started to date black men ironically enough. When she did he became very mentally and emotionally abusive and would call my mom things like " a dumb two-bit sperm burping
(n word) loving whore), and he would demand sex because they were still legally married since he didn't sign the documents and said it was her "duty" to have sex with him. After the divorce he took everything and left my mother and her 13 year old son (me) with nothing and we were homeless living at my sister's for a bit. He even took things my mother inherited from her own parents, including my grandmother's bed and my grandfather's tools.
Although it's been 7 years since I've talked to him and I'm a grown man now, having a shitbag like him being my "role model" during the most influential time in a child's life (age 5 - 13) I still tend to get uncomfortable around women and black people and I struggle with my sexuality.

1) Make a decided effort to communicate with female colleagues via email as opposed to face-to-face. Email provides documentation.

2) Do not come up from behind women in the office, either take a different route or make approach from the front.

3) Do not engage in any personal or dating/sexual conversations at all at work (even with another man) as it could possibly overheard by a woman. Conversations to which a woman is not a party can be seen as harassment or abusive and be a serious violation of HR policy.

4) If you want to ask a woman from your office on a date (not recommended), you may only ask her out ONE time.

5) Never have a meeting with a female colleague in your office without at least one other person being present. A better idea is to have a Skype or webex meeting even if she works in the same building.

6) Never comment about a woman's looks or fashion choices (i. e. "I like that dress" or "you look great today"). Never ask a woman if she is married/divorced/dating and never comment on the pictures she may have on her desk or as a screensaver.

7) Never meet a female colleague for "drinks" after hours. After hours with a female employee is still considered "work" by HR and any comments or behaviour can be reported to HR. Do no invite female colleagues to any non-work events (such as sporting events) as such invitations could be seen as "creep" ways to ask for a date.

8) If you must travel with a female colleague for work you should select different flights, and have hotel rooms on different floors, do not meet for meals or drinks unless they are part of an official function. Pay for your own rental car if necessary.

9) Do not offer unsolicited help to pregnant or disabled women in the office.

10) During office parties, do not consume any alcohol at all! Do not be alone with any women for even a moment. If you find yourself in a corner or room alone with a woman, quickly and politely excuse yourself and note the time on your watch.