For the longest time many nice guys on the internet have been complaining why is it that the nice guys always get rejected? Why do women always go for the bad boy or the asshole?
These are legitimate concerns and I will throw my two cents into the fray.
So first off all let us talk about how the nice guy thinks ; his world view of what an asshole is and what nice guy is.
From a nice guy's point of view the asshole or bad boy is the guy who is treating her like shit. But what does this mean to treat her like shit? The nice guys does not always specify this but the typical nice guy seems to think it refers to some kind of physical , emotional , or verbal abuse from the guy. The typical nice guy envisions that the asshole boyfriend / husband - is some guy who is always yelling and cussing at his girl , perhaps he slaps her around from time to time , or constantly cheats on her. He abuses her and maybe even steals from her. This is what the nice guy - who is usually some beta-male orbiter - envisions when the object of his affection uses him as an emotional tampon (not to mention free services from him).
"Oh her boyfriend is such an asshole!! Why is she with him and not with me?! When will she see how great I am?"
This is how the nice guy envisions himself to be: Always attentive to all her needs , always agreeing with every word she says, always ready to drop everything for to attend to her , always complacent and even willing to act the part of savior or white knight if another man so much as smirks at her. He sees him self as the perfect man the "supreme gentlemen". In his mind he is the epitome of the perfect boyfriend and women should be lining up for a chance to be with him. The nice guy is the subconscious vision of what every women says she wants in a man.
You could say that these are the characteristics of what the internet had dubbed "incels" and I would agree that they are the precursors to the "incelism" but it is not always the case.
Many of us older men were at one point in our live nice guys. I was when I was younger but I think that this is a perspective that fades over the years as one has more and more contact with women. So then , how does the "nice guy" view of things match up to what a nice guy and an asshole or bad boy are in real life?
In reality :
An asshole or bad boy:
He has a wife or girlfriend and maybe he is a bit of a player. He does not intentional disrespect his women nor does he verbally or physically abuse her. He will state his opinions and views of the world - if his woman likes it fine if she disagrees with him that is also fine. He will help her out when he can but he does not allow himself to be a door mat either. If she starts acting like a rude cunt he will tell her to fuck off. If she is abusive towards him or belittles him he will walk and not look back. He will dole out some attention to her now and then but he is not smothering her at all hours of the day. He will have his moments of doubt and weakness but he does not share this with her ( why should her? ) . Like all red-blooded men he enjoys sex but he doe not allow himself to be manipulated via "sexploitation" nor will he become her personal ATM. He will appreciate having her but he will walk if he needs to. In short the so called asshole or bad boy is a man who stands up for himself and does not allow a female to mistreat him. He will walk and not look back if needed.
This is , in essence , the type of guy that many women call assholes or bad boys and that the so called nice guy fails to understand as the nice guy has yet to learn that women often say one thing but mean another. As much as women complain about the bad boy - they are inevitably and subconsciously drawn to him for reasons that even they do not understand.
The nice guy:
The nice guys views himself as a savior of sorts or perhaps the anti-thesis of the bad boy. He sees himself as a moral superior. But the reality of the the nice guys is is very , very different.
The nice guy is often subservient to the object of his affection - he agrees with all that she says not matter how idiotic or unjust , he rarely lets his true opinions be know, he sacrifices his own time , energy and money to spend it on her. He is easily exploited by the object of his affection and women in general - he buys into their sad sob stories , he gives them money and buys things for them , he does them favors , he grovels and explains when he feels the need to , he is manipulated by the promise of sexual favors. As I stated he views himself as a "supreme gentlemen" yet fails to comprehend one very transcendent perspective ; he is often viewed with disdain and contempt by the object of his affection , he is seen as weak and spinless. Do not misunderstand - a women might appreciate the things that he does for her but this does not mean that she is even remotely attracted to him. The nice guy is used and abused by many a women and they do not see it unless it is pointed out to them. And even so they will often resist any changes in thought process.Until then , they will always be the nice guys.