The Problem With "Nice" Guys!

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately I have had to deal with a few 'nice' guys in my life and I am sure will stumble upon more through out my life.

If your questioning why coming across a 'nice' guy is an issue then you might be one which I recommend you to keep reading.

****

All women want a nice guy, they want one who is good to them and makes them happy, what females don't want is you. The reasoning for that is you're not an actual nice person. You're a fucking dick

"Girls only go after looks."

"Girls only want assholes."

"Girls don't give nice guys like me a chance."

"I'm a nice guy."

Fuck off with those excuses. If a girl is into she is into she is not obligated to go out with you because you were 'nice' to her, gave her compliments etc. People should be nice without expecting anything back. If you feel she owes it to you to go out because you want to then you are the problem not her taste, not where she's from, you.are.the.problem.

Actual nice guys don't have to say they are nice, they show it with actions and genuinely are nice. Rather than be nice for a little while because you have intentions and then freak out on a girl after she rejects you. That's fucking ridiculous. And the reason why you don't have a girlfriend is because of your character and you, not her.

So fellas next time you begin to pressure a girl into dating you, because you're being a decent fucking human being to her and except her to go out with you think real hard about who you actually are. And Yes women would rather date a douche over you because they are up front about it and would treat her better than you would.

You act like a fucking toddler when rejected why the fuck would a girl be interested in that?

What do you think ladies, does this come close to how a 'nice' guy is? What is the worst encounter you have had with a 'nice' guy?

And fellas are you a nice guy or genuine?

I would love to hear your opinion on "nice" guys.

Some examples of a "nice" guy or better yet Broflake

[Rob171977]

This cracks me up on several reasons 1. I heard those same excuses by men countless times and how women only want the badboy 2. Women are worse then men when it comes to being rejected since their egos are more fragile than men since men get rejected more than women thus creating a thicker skin for themselves 3. Those men who you claim are "nice guys" have been hurt real badly before by women countless women a countless number of times in the past and thus are more vulnerable to being hurt again which is why they put up that shield as a defense mechanism so when they get hurt it won't sting as much 4. Men get rejected much more than women since men have to make the first move and impress the women while the women can sit back and pick and choose who she wants to be with and not the other way around or very rarely the other way around. 5. On any dating site (and this is a known scientific fact with plenty of research done on this which you can google search yourself since i'm not going to spoonfeed you the references or links) 80% of men get rejected by women and women go after the top 10 or 20% of men they find attractive on dating sites AND women can get 1000 email messages from guys while a guy will get only 10 from women if he's lucky (again do your own google search on this because i'm not siting references since you're an adult and know how to use the internet)

[Rob171977]

And going by what kind of an asshole you sounded like from this post it reminded me of an ex female friend I had a while back who I got rid of for the same kind of shitty attitude she had and the man hating attitude she had and the fake phoney personna she had which I clearly saw through hence why she's an ex friend

[myTake Owner]

I don't hate men, and my apologies if I came across as an asshole that wasn't my intention.
I am aware that men are more likely to go up to the girl and message her first and what not. That's information everyone knows.

But that doesn't give the dude the right to be a dick to a woman if she turns him down. He needs to look at his actions and choose. Rather than calling a girl a bitch and saying he can get better than her, or that everyone besides him is a fool, blaming every single thing rather than his character and himself he should accept it and not belittle someone because they aren't into him. There is no excuse for that behavior. Doesn't matter if he asked 50 girls out and all said no there was obliviously a reason all those girls said no and it shows.

[Rob171977]

I agree he shouldn't act like an asshole but when a guy says he can do better it's to give himself a confidence boost after being shot down to make himself feel better and reraise his self confidence again. But sometimes a woman can and does act like a bitch to a guy she sees for no reason or because she feels like she's entitled to. And when a woman gets shot down she goes on dating sites to get hundreds of emails to give herself an ego boost similarly like men do. And you're right there is no reason for a guy to act like a fool or belittle a woman but I've also seen women do that to guys so it works both ways. The problem aren't strictly guys or women it's both a people problem who don't treat each other with respect which rubs rampant in this country

[backintown]

I’ve been both rudely and politely rejected. But I find that most women default to being rude. That includes being flaky and ghosting. I can count the times on one hand I’ve had a woman directly yet tactfully reject me.

If women want men to be more mindful about being “creepy” than maybe the could do a better job at communicating themselves.

[Rob171977]

@backintown Most women don't have manners in this day and age

[backintown]

You can say that again. And feminism says women like this are “strong” women

[_killer_queen_]

Hey, you ready for this?
I understand this probably comes from a place of pain, but stop generalising dude. Not all women are terrible, not all men are terrible - we are all humans aren't we? You crack me up for several reasons, Rob. Where did you get the misguided idea that women are more fragile than men? Where did you get the idea that only men ask women out? Hello? Welcome to the 21st century buddy, anyone can ask anyone out bc who gives a shit - you like someone go for it.
Anyway, who conducted this research? Are there peer-reviewed journal articles from a reputable source? I swear, if your source is a gossip magazine or wikipedia, I weep for humanity. Genuinely, I'm intrigued and would like to read said studies. Spoon-fed me, Rob. I'm curious. Because your refusal to provide evidence is both feeble and something reminiscent of an essay written by a 11 year old child. But hey, prove me wrong.
The statistics you provide are... intriguing. 80% of men rejected by women implies 20% of men are not? Or are that 20% women who are rejected by men? What about women who are rejected by women? Men by men? Or is bringing 21st century ideas into this hurting your narrow and old-fashioned views too much? Sorry, Rob...
[pt 1]

[_killer_queen_]

Also are you sending 1000 "email messages" to people? This could be the issue, Rob. Chill out. I agree, by sending 1000 emails you would be lucky to only get 10 back, good lord. I mean, I admire your tenacity, albeit misplaced. I'm sure you'll find someone who appreciates those 1000 emails. :)
I'm sorry if someone hurt you, you seem to be trying to come from a fair place (nobody deserves to be hurt) and I truly hope that by reading this, you don't get angry and close-minded but instead reflect and consider this. We are all human, buddy. And please, don't make stupid generalisations about men or women. And don't pull out unfounded "scientific fact" to prove your point.
Aaaand for fun a little personal story: I am a woman and I am going after a man (gasp!). I'm no freak of nature, I know plenty of women who have. You want to know why? Because it's 2019, motherf**ker.
[pt 2]

[_killer_queen_]

maybe she just hated men like you? (:

[Rob171977]

@_killer_queen_ I feel bad for the poor bastard you're chasing after. My condolenscenes to him

[Rob171977]

@_killer_queen_ And as for the 80% number it's called getting off your ass and doing your own research. Also I never once stated statistics for men & men or women & women since I don't have any statistics on those

[Anonymous]

Women don’t like nice guys because they lack CHALLENGE. It’s not that women enjoy being treated badly (most that is).

I also agree that nobody is entitled to sex for just being nice. But if a person is doing a nice thing for you they are entitled to respect. The respectful thing to do is to speak up directly yet politely they you appreciate but you are not interested. Its going to hurt and disappoint them, but stringing them along just because you like the attention/benefits will hurt them much more.

If a guy complains about being friend zoned after you were direct with him (EARLY) than I agree he’s a whiny bitch.

But what I have an issue with is women who play dumb. I especially hate women who assume the guy is alright with friend zone without speaking up.

[myTake Owner]

Most women do put them down gently, multiply times because most of those dudes put a fuss on and go on and on and on about how horrible you are etc. So I agree with yes women should not string them along but most don't know the dude is interested by then the friendship is already made. I don't believe friendzone is real. Obviously if your her friend she only wanted a friendship.

[Opinion Owner]

No women have strong intuition. You know 99% of the time the guy likes you but you will play dumb so you have plausible deniability (if you are not attracted to him). In those situations the friend zone IS real because you girls will string the guy along for your ends (attention, meals, favors, free counseling).

However if you tell the guy straight up (politely) that you are not interested than he’s a whiny bitch if he complains. Attraction isn’t a choice. The friend zone does not exist if communication and boundaries were established.

I’m just of girls (even women in their 30s) who play dumb when it’s plain as day a guy likes them. I get it they don’t feel comfortable with he confrontation of rejecting him. But they have no problem mooching attention, free meals, etc and then they turn around and say “the friendzone doesn’t exist”. Bullshit.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m just sick of*

[Melshmallow046]

I don't want a "nice guy" and I don't want a bad boy, I want a good man. And thankfully I have one.

[Foad666x]

Just enjoy your life.

[backintown]

This is why I cringe when a girl I like calls me a “nice guy” but I feel great when she calls me a “good” guy. Sometimes nice means “good” but more often than not it means “weak”.

[lucian_lucian_123]

Attention, this is a critic response to this post.
From the affective and sexual point of view women and men are living on different planets.
The men are the ones coming to women for relation, and this is making women have a great ego. Also the women are the ones with rejections and are doing this uncountable times, and each time their ego is boosted. Each rejection make them feel superior and damn good.
For this reason women have very low or zero respect for men.
And in plus it seems from this post that the guys cannot even complain about it, or in the thinking of the post author a man should express happiness because was rejected multiple times by women. There is a total lack of any empathy and almost a man hate attitude.
I don't know if those guys were really good or not, but these kind of things do happen all the time, and the guys are EACH time more or less frustrated. Is not a pleasant experience.
The women never think that the men, maybe with some exceptions, also have an ego and do suffer a lot before managing to get a girl friend, being rejected a lot of times completely unjustified by more women. He is asking himself about the cause and about himself each time, and this is not a small thing.
The situation is even worsen by the dating sites.
When women are entering there are assaulted by hundreds or maybe even thousands of guys. This is the offline situation inflated 100 times. More than that in many sites while the men need to pay subscriptions, women don't need to pay anything, or just pay something much less. I personally encountered this a lot. The sites need to adapt to the women very big ego and compensate the lack of money on the women side with the men side.
The women feel like having uncountable choices and a single man seems to be very very very small for a woman. They are feeling like a living Godless and lose any contact with reality. The modern date sites alienate a lot the women self image in plus of what is happening anyway.

[AynonOMouse]

I think they don't realize that being nice doesn't mean they suddenly become physically attractive to them, and they need things in common, and compatible life goals. They also need to get strong and not be such weaklings like many people are. I think the reason why they complain is because cheaters usually seem to constantly have an SO and many people go back with cheaters repeatedly. Treating women worse, being forward to the point of being rude and disrespectful DOES gain their interest though from personal experience. The same woman, treat her worse and suddenly she is interested after a year of not being interested, so there is actually a little truth to some of their complaints.
It isn't really much different than the women that complain that after she was a slut she can't get a good guy either. People from both genders complain.

The real solution is people should say from the start of getting to know someone what kind of person they are. Is the guy a doormat, cheater, or good guy? Is the woman a slut, gold digger, or good girl? It would save us all lots of time and more people would get compatible mates. The deception from people is what really causes problems for both genders.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

I can't help myself I have to leave a comment on this.
Hi. I get it. They can be very annoying and even hurt you feelings with stuff they say after they get rejected. But I am going to ask you to cut them some slack.

When I was a teen I was a nice guy without the " " because I never insulted or got angry at a girl for not wanting me. To be fair I almost never made a move because I was convinced none of them wanted me, and trust I was right at the time. But I can asure you that I was nice, thing is I lacked something to make me interesting. It's very hard to accept that girls don't want you because you are just that bad even being a chill guy. I had to start working hard on myself to change that.

Both fighting to change and accepting that you need to change to get what you want becuase you are not enough is hard as hell! I did it but not all of them can do it. So of course at some point they break and all that rage and frustration gets unload on the first target they have.

No I don't thing they deserve a free pass to be assholes, I made an entire MyTake about that, but understand how hard can it be.

It's not that they feel entitled to anything but at first at some point they ask themselves "why can't I get someone to like me?" and they don't get why! I mean they are nice and girls do like jerks, you do because they have other qualities besides being jerks OF COURSE, but they don't grasp that so they feel confused.

Check this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3J6ezFQu7o

This works for both genders. It's just hard to be that person. Harder ro accept you simply suck that hard have to change who you are. And even harder to do it.

[Bluemax]

I have said this before many times.

Men and women alike generally don't like cruel people. Men and women alike want a relationship with someone they are attracted to who treats them decent. However, men and women alike are only human. Sometimes they allow physical attraction to sweep them away and other considerations take a back seat. This doesn't make them bad people. This doesn't mean they want to be with people who treat them like shit. This only means they were human and made a mistake.

"Nice guys" need to try to consider how they can make themselves more attractive, physically and emotionally, to women.

[loki35]

Meh I consider myself a nice guy, but the reason I see that I'm still single is I just haven't met the right person. If a girl doesn't want to date me because I'm too nice thats her business, maybe it's just her nice way of saying my ears look funny or she doesn't have the same intersts maybe I'm just not what she is looking for. I'm glad you clarified your contextual definition of 'nice' guy, because yes there are a lot of guys out there who are 'nice' because they are trying to get something. But there are guys out there who can't help being nice its who they are so I do caution about taking up the assumption that all nice guys have a hidden agenda. But yes you can't blame someone else for problems with yourself.

[betaTester]

I tend to do nice things for women which they somehow always interpret as romantic gestures or hints that they should flirt with me (this chick literally texted me everyday about random personal stuffs), then I'd have to explain that I already like someone else and "I'm a nice guy", "sorry I don't mean it that way".
I was called 'broflake' by one of those women rofl

[myTake Owner]

I will say some women get the lines blurred as well, nice is considered flirting whatever that's that persons problem. I wouldn't categorise you as one. You would be a genuine nice guy with pure good intentions. Sorry some girl called that and I hope your crush worked or works out! :-)

[cloud9vortex1234]

I think women need to rephrase what they say. Women, in general, got the point right about Fake Nice Guys. It shouldn't be Nice Guys because it gives a bad name to guys who are Genuine Nice Guys. Shouldn't a Legit Nice Guy be genuine, to begin with? Call the other guy a So-Called Nice Guy, Fake Nice Guy, or Imposter Nice Guy. I like the name the Self Pro-Claimed Nice Guy. I like to call a guy whos genuinely nice a Good Guy.

It would be funny if a guy who claimed to be a Nice Guy and he was Genuinely a Nice Guy. Do you think that's possible ladies?

When it comes to me, people can decide for themselves what they think about me.

[Twalli]

I treat everyone the same. I try to make three compliments a day to a complete stranger. Usually it brightens their day, and even if they feel bad it makes them think that at least one person cares about them as a human being. I don't expect any girl to actually want to date me. I don't think I am attractive enough for them to want to be more than friends with me. I am fine with that. I would feel like I lived a complete and accomplished life if my words helped one person through the worst moment in their life. People don't have to love me for me to feel good. I feel good if I made one other person feel good each day

[Anonymous]

As it says in free-ebooks' "Are Men the Weaker Sex", some guys say: "Girls only want assholes" so guys can feel justified in acting like a-holes. Women don't buy it!
Thank you for saying a woman is not obligated to go out with a guy because he's nice to her.

[TomTwelfth]

Guys are not entitled to any woman’s attention nor explanations why they are rejected. You’ve got to figure it out for yourself. However, a lot of guys believe the BS disseminated by the media narratives and women too quite often, that women find ‘nice guy’ qualities attractive and all they need to do is be honourable and chivalrous and a woman will fall for him. That’s obviously not true, it’s not that simple nor that easy. That said, these guys saying ‘I’ll never get a girl I’m too nice’ are really hiding from the truth which is that they are uncomfortable and unconfident with women, and the only approach they know is to follow the aforementioned BS narrative. They need to accept that the narrative is false, and start being more authentic rather than playing a childish white knight role

[backintown]

It’s unfortunate that we have to learn hard lessons on this. My parents raised me to kiss girls asses (pay for everything!) and I agree that society brainwashes guys.

We do wise up. But some guys get jaded and bitter by the time they finally figure it out. There needs to be more education and coaching for young boys to learn what women REALLY want. They really are getting setup to fail thanks to feminism.

[TomTwelfth]

@backintown Agreed. Paying for everything is a big no. It puts across all the wrong signals. It’s great spending money on your partner when you’re both invested in each other, but on a first date it comes across as needy / inexperienced

[backintown]

And many boys are not being taught this among other things.

I’m just sick of seeing young guys being setup to fail with women

[DWD1994]

I will say men that exhibit behaviors associated with the concept of toxic masculinity (ie behaviors such as arrogance, recklessness, competitiveness, apathy, emotional unavailability, aggression, rebelliousness, etc) those are the men that are generally seen as more attractive.

Of course that doesn't mean that 'Nice guys finish last'. I mean, to a certain extent, I do believe in the old adage "No good deed goes unpunished". However, there are plenty of men that exhibit the traits I listed above that are associated with the concept of 'toxic masculinity' and they aren't bad men.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

That remark!

I had been there. There were guys who told me "You think you're that pretty?" And the other said "You're a psycho." just because I did not show interest in them. They didn't even have a normal conversation with me. I was so confused, I didn't say anything to outright reject them. But now I understood why.

[The_White_Queen]

I agree with this. Most "nice guys" i find tend to be creeps.

[The_White_Queen]

@JBurk1995 why would I when no one else will?

[The_White_Queen]

@JBurk1995 that limp little thing lol

[Anonymous]

I think the real problem here is, society tells you that as long as you put merit, and hard work on something, you can "always" achieve it. From there, it's easy to think that by just acting moral, you should become desirable and attractive enough at least for someone.

But no. Thing is, real world ain't be like that, it's more like a huge hierarchy where we all get some implicit rank (regardless of what do we think about ourselves), and for some weak folks, being "nice" or genuine, it brings them nowhere anyways. We're not equal, neither in liberty, dignity, external worth, or rights, we will never be, and it's inevitable the weak get punished while the strong get rewarded.

[_SOARER_]

Nice guys is what led to all the problems of the world.
omen would love it if men were all strong warriors who espoused masculine virtues.
Men are taught to be "Nice" its why they are so resentful towards women. because women taught them to be that way.

[AuroraRoseat]

Plenty of nice guys have women. The ones that don’t are likely losers or unappealing in various ways to women. Or they don’t see themselves as the problem. Or they are seeking the wrong women.

You see what I’m getting at? Plenty of reasons.

[myTake Owner]

What she said. ^^^

Don't blame mens actions on women because not all men are like that. If it were really taught as you have said all men would have the same attitudes. Its a mans own choice on who he wants to be, don't try putting the blame on other people. Doesn't work that way.

[_SOARER_]

I miss typed. Meant to write "These men"
Anyways yes, women share in the blame of weak men. Who become the "nice guy" this mytake is talking about

*These men are resentful because women (their mothers) taught them to behave the way they do, not because it is GOOD, but to get rewarded. When the reward isn't there. They get resentful.

It's an explanation not an indictment of all women.

[Anonymous]

You women really need to stop using the term "nice guys" in this way. You are just shooting yourselves in the foot in a huge way that is already coming back to bite you. Every day guys are being fed the message that being a nice guy is a bad thing and being a jerk who treats women like shit is the path to success. Unless that's what you really want, I'd suggest changing your message.

[myTake Owner]

I'm referring to when guys call themselves nice guys. There is a difference between a genuine nice guy and a guy who calls himself a nice guy. Did you read what I wrote? I explained it in the mytake.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes of course I read it and I knew what you meant, but the overall message that is getting out there with all this negative talk about "nice guys" is that women don't like nice guys and bad boys are the ones who have success with women. Women are giving nice guys a bad name even though it's not their intention.

[myTake Owner]

They give themselves a bad name, by doing things like they do in the example photos. Its kind of common sense that a girl isn't going to like you if you over do things and freak out when they say no. They blame literally everything else on why the person doesn't like them. Basically jerks but they think they are nice guys. Females know the difference between a genuine nice guy and men who think they are nice guys. And then some women are very insecure so the moment a dude shows interest in her she's gonna go for it so women who are with obvious jerks are with them because they don't think they can do better or the person has something they want.

[Opinion Owner]

I understand and agree with all that, but you are missing my point. The way it is being communicated, the message getting out there is the wrong message. You need to stop using the term 'nice guys' in these discussions because the message that is getting out there is that women don't like nice guys. I understand that is not your intention, I'm just telling you what is happening.

[DudeDiligence]

I have to agree. The take away for a lot of guys from these discussions seems to be that women do not like nice guys.

[IAMNathanael]

Id like to think I'm genuine but I just let my actions speak for me. I think how people treat me is a reflection of how I treat them. People are kind to me.

[October808]

I just watched a video of 7 things guys do not women to do. Do not put us on pedestals. The same way we should never put you on pedestals. It's unrealistic expectations that come from it. That leads to lying, cheating, selfish behaviour and what have you.

[chc0009]

No, we are not owed. But we are also allowed to assess why we did not get it.

And no, I am not a "nice guy" but I have noticed that women gravitate towards assholes since they oftentimes tend to have some skills and they brag about them.

When their beauty fades, they then want the "nice guys." Alpha fucks, beta bucks, that's the way of a modern woman. Can't have your cake and eat it too ladies.

[buttcrackjoe]

Girls want chads who back hand them and fart on their faces. Open the door for her, offer to help her move, be an emotional support lap dog and you’re a friend zoned-cuck

[myTake Owner]

Yeah you're totally right women love to be physically assaulted by their boyfriends. Please note the sarcasm on that.

If you think that is what women want then you are living in a imaginary world. Women want gentlemen. But if you don't want to be friends a girl needs to know up front because most of the time she is just interested in being friends. There is no friend zone.

[buttcrackjoe]

Thats wut all the girls say but actions speak louder

[buttcrackjoe]

And ‘friend zone’ is a euphemism for ‘get the fuck out of my life creepier -zone’

[myTake Owner]

It depends on the girl I suppose. And no its not its saying girls just want to be friends.